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BPD and Bipolar

C

Checkout2

Member
Jun 25, 2020
52
I have done some awful things in my life, as I suffer from Bipolar and EUPD.
All in all I cannot stand the pain anymore.
Does anyone else feel the same
 
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Angina

Angina

>>AnginA<<
Jun 27, 2020
81
I do. I have clinical depression which just won't let me go, also BPD and other messed up stuff in my head. I'm trying 2 anti-depressants now, if they don't work until I eat all my stash I'll quit them. I stick to Alprazolam to survive, that stuff at least works.
 
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AngelGirl

AngelGirl

Cat
May 18, 2019
167
I have the same conditions. But my bipolar is type 2.
 
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SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
Do you guys have that rush when everything seems to come together, like you understand how to approach your life and you feel good and you feel like you're ready for life but the next day you're back in that awful cave in your head and you feel too paralised to do anything because of your thoughts?
 
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N

Nachos

Member
Jun 27, 2020
11
SipSop said:
Do you guys have that rush when everything seems to come together, like you understand how to approach your life and you feel good and you feel like you're ready for life but the next day you're back in that awful cave in your head and you feel too paralised to do anything because of your thoughts?
Click to expand...
Yeah, this exactly. It's like an intense, warm moment of clarity. It feels like I get hit with this fat brick of realization of how overdramatic I'm being and my regular thoughts seem fucked up. Somehow being happy in the future seems possible during those rare moments, but the next day I'm back to planning my suicide again. I desperately want to hang on to those feelings of hope but I can't figure out how to make them last. I'm not sure if it's a BPD or just a general personality disorder thing people feel since I only suffer from AvPD.
 
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C

Checkout2

Member
Jun 25, 2020
52
For years I thought I was stable, but looking back at my history and the things I did I wasn't.
Mine is Bipolar 2 too.
Essentially my behaviour has caused me to lose everything. I will soon be homeless
Most days I can't even get out of bed as the anxiety, fear and depression is so great.
I know why I have these conditions, due to stuff which happened in childhood...and whilst the chap got sentenced to six years after I took him to court two years ago on historical rape and sexual abuse charges. My family and I have life!
SipSop said:
Do you guys have that rush when everything seems to come together, like you understand how to approach your life and you feel good and you feel like you're ready for life but the next day you're back in that awful cave in your head and you feel too paralised to do anything because of your thoughts?
Click to expand...
I think I had many rushes over the years and appeared to be living normally. I am paralysed most days now
 
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mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
1,090
I have schizoaffective bipolar type and BPD so similar. At the moment I'm coping by lots of casual sex. When I'm not with someone I feel so empty...
 
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C

Checkout2

Member
Jun 25, 2020
52
mathieu said:
I have schizoaffective bipolar type and BPD so similar. At the moment I'm coping by lots of casual sex. When I'm not with someone I feel so empty...
Click to expand...
I've done the casual sex thing too...and I hate being alone
 
AngelGirl

AngelGirl

Cat
May 18, 2019
167
I have a question for you guys, since it seems like you guys have similar diagnosis to mine. Do you guys also experience explosive anger? How does that manifest?
 
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mathieu

mathieu

Enlightened
Jun 5, 2019
1,090
AngelGirl said:
I have a question for you guys, since it seems like you guys have similar diagnosis to mine. Do you guys also experience explosive anger? How does that manifest?
Click to expand...
I generally don't but I've gone through times where I did, for sure.
 
WinterFaust

WinterFaust

Shimmer
Apr 13, 2020
412
Bipolar here with BPD traits. The last 12 months have been horrendous. Mania cost me everything and then the resulting depression caused me to be completely non-functional. Being left by myself was a mistake. I'm pretty much only concerned that no one will notice or care when I ctb.
 
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K-O

K-O

FU(KOFFEE
Apr 16, 2020
1,462
yes to everything y'all mentioned and more.. borderline. depression. cptsd. addiction. self harm. anxiety, explosive rage promiscuous sex and behavior etc..
and now these past months that ive been defeated i dont have the strength i ones had to fight and maintain the highs so i just crash harder when at lows.. exhausting ffs..
 
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F

FadingAway

Member
Jun 22, 2020
67
mathieu said:
I have schizoaffective bipolar type and BPD so similar. At the moment I'm coping by lots of casual sex. When I'm not with someone I feel so empty...
Click to expand...

Are you on AP's?
 
C

Checkout2

Member
Jun 25, 2020
52
Yes I was on AP's, but they made it worse. I just want am easy way to CTB
 
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