Venting boyfriend took my SN

[meowzers3276]

basically he picked up some packages for me from the mailbox when he was coming over & was pressuring me to open them in front of him. one was amygdalin tincture (but it was torn so i tossed it) and the other was SN i ordered, i didnt even get the chance to test and see if its real or even the chance to process i got SN. ive been trying to beg him to let me keep it just in case. i wasnt able to lie to him about what it was but now he's going and tossing my entire suicide kit while im stuck at work and im just so frustrated. you may be wondering why i didnt just stop him, ive been trying but he makes it about my "devotion" to him if i press too hard about needing to ctb/have a ctb kit. so if i resist too much it will lead to a argument, and he might report me to my psychiatrist or something if i seem *too* stuck on keeping the SN. i just told him its "in case" and will help with my anxiety about life. but he still refuses to not toss it and i know he is now while im stuck at work. i don't know how to explain to him how it affects me without also making him upset. i know he loves me and doesnt want me to die and he is also taking extra measures to monitor me lately. i dont know what to do so im just dumping here lol

basically he picked up some packages for me from the mailbox when he was coming over & was pressuring me to open them in front of him. one was amygdalin tincture (but it was torn so i tossed it) and the other was SN i ordered, i didnt even get the chance to test and see if its real or even the chance to process i got SN. ive been trying to beg him to let me keep it just in case. i wasnt able to lie to him about what it was but now he's going and tossing my entire suicide kit while im stuck at work and im just so frustrated. you may be wondering why i didnt just stop him, ive been trying but he makes it about my "devotion" to him if i press too hard about needing to ctb/have a ctb kit. so if i resist too much it will lead to a argument, and he might report me to my psychiatrist or something if i seem *too* stuck on keeping the SN. i just told him its "in case" and will help with my anxiety about life. but he still refuses to not toss it and i know he is now while im stuck at work. i don't know how to explain to him how it affects me without also making him upset. i know he loves me and doesnt want me to die and he is also taking extra measures to monitor me lately. i dont know what to do so im just dumping here lol

i also didnt know that it was the SN when i opened it, i didnt get a notification it was delivered so there was no way for me to intercept before he made me open the packages. i knew though it wasnt anything good because the only thing ive ordered recently is those sorts of materials, or drugs. i was hoping it was just amygdalin but it was my SN and now its gone.

 

[itsallogrenow]

basically he picked up some packages for me from the mailbox when he was coming over & was pressuring me to open them in front of him. one was amygdalin tincture (but it was torn so i tossed it) and the other was SN i ordered, i didnt even get the chance to test and see if its real or even the chance to process i got SN. ive been trying to beg him to let me keep it just in case. i wasnt able to lie to him about what it was but now he's going and tossing my entire suicide kit while im stuck at work and im just so frustrated. you may be wondering why i didnt just stop him, ive been trying but he makes it about my "devotion" to him if i press too hard about needing to ctb/have a ctb kit. so if i resist too much it will lead to a argument, and he might report me to my psychiatrist or something if i seem *too* stuck on keeping the SN. i just told him its "in case" and will help with my anxiety about life. but he still refuses to not toss it and i know he is now while im stuck at work. i don't know how to explain to him how it affects me without also making him upset. i know he loves me and doesnt want me to die and he is also taking extra measures to monitor me lately. i dont know what to do so im just dumping here lol

i also didnt know that it was the SN when i opened it, i didnt get a notification it was delivered so there was no way for me to intercept before he made me open the packages. i knew though it wasnt anything good because the only thing ive ordered recently is those sorts of materials, or drugs. i was hoping it was just amygdalin but it was my SN and now its gone.

I'll keep my relationship opinions go myself but is there anywhere else you can get it delivered to?

Then maybe you can rent a small storage locker and keep everything there? Would that still reduce your anxiety?