Justaroguegear
Tired
- Mar 11, 2020
- 79
This is a fairly long one.
I was living with the grandparents on my mother's side. I know I was beaten by my grandfather, how much, I'm not sure. But I remember a piece of triangular rubber he used. And bruised thighs, which they asked how I got, they thought a dog did it, turns out it was my grandfather's beating. I was also underweight according to my other set of grandparents, not potty trained, got an eye infection while with them, which they said was caused by draft (pretty sure that's BS but may be true with kids, I have no idea). Which by the way is all I heard from my father's parents. Actually now that I remember some pictures from back then, I don't even think I looked too underweight. But my grandparents claimed my medical file said "severely neglected ". All the time I had to listen to that shit. Which takes me to these grandparents. So at 5-6 years old (I was sent there before that too for a few months, that's when I was potty trained I'm guessing), I was placed with them (different cities). Sister was living with them all this time, they split us up so it wasn't too much work. We weren't isolated or anything, we did get sent back and forth some.
At first it was so much better, but it slowly turned into a nightmare. I wasn't really taught autonomy, I remember in first grade I was shocked that others had keys, went to shops alone, meanwhile I didn't know my address. I was driven to school too, for way longer than needed. I was also beaten once there too, my grandfather actually broke some kind of toy sword on me. I don't even remember what I did, I know I saw it as an overreaction at the time. I think maybe I was joking about something and I kept laughing but it may not be accurate. He also didn't teach me to pee standing up, which I mention, because they bragged about how they potty trained me.
I was taught not to share anything with others (except my sister, I had to share everything with her that could be shared), I was given like 20 usd worth of money (more buying power than in USA though) at a time, but I was told not to spend it, which I didn't understand, took it at all on trips and since I wasn't trusted before with keys or money I lost all my money several times. I was supposed to ask permission every time I wanted to buy a shitty bag of chips.
I lost a lot of things out of pockets all the time up to a point.
I wasn't allowed to invite anyone over to our house, apparently that was a gypsy thing to do. I was allowed in other people's yards but somehow entering a house was not okay. There were some exceptions, but it had to be sanctioned, like a birthday party. I was once stuck in someone's house because of heavy rain. I got shit for it, why didn't I listen to the thunder before the rain and looked at sky...
I got more and more secretive because of shit like this, did bad things that I didn't tell, and it got worse and worse. I stopped telling anything about my day at school. One word answers were all they got after a while. I'm one of those sneaky and lying people now.
I wasn't given the perfectly fine free room, to save in heating, had to share with my sister. I wrote a longer post about this earlier.
I was taken to a psychologist like 2 times in 1st grade, but my grandfather didn't come after me in time for school and I cried from panic. They stopped taking me after that. They probably thought it was the psychologist. I wonder how things would've turned out if they took me back. I definitely had temper issues, I would snap and cry or get aggressive from time to time. Probably had some issues from being with my other grandparents and they didn't deal with it.
They were extremely frugal, shutting off lights obsessively. Saving money any way they could. Giving me that money telling me not the spend it, saving money on heating with that room I mentioned. They bought the cheapest thing of everything. Of course they had money for my grandfather's heavy smoking habit and 100000 potted plants.
And by the way I inhaled so much second hand smoke, he would sometimes smoke in the bathroom, and I would go in right after. Sometimes I was sitting next to him outside while he smoked, wind blowing it straight into my face, and he was like oh darn, sorry, sit on my other side. Like it was some minor inconvenience... (he didn't notice instantly, only if I started squirming out of the way). Chalk it up to ignorance, I guess.
Eating ice cream if it wasn't hot enough outside was not okay... Or even cold tap water would cause a sore throat apparently. Maybe this part is not as bad, because they truly believed that. But I disobeyed whenever I could and nothing happened.
Maybe all this is just normal experience growing up, and I'm just way too sensitive. Either way it sucks because if they truly were bad at parenting, then I started with a major disadvantage in life
Or good parenting doesn't exist
I was living with the grandparents on my mother's side. I know I was beaten by my grandfather, how much, I'm not sure. But I remember a piece of triangular rubber he used. And bruised thighs, which they asked how I got, they thought a dog did it, turns out it was my grandfather's beating. I was also underweight according to my other set of grandparents, not potty trained, got an eye infection while with them, which they said was caused by draft (pretty sure that's BS but may be true with kids, I have no idea). Which by the way is all I heard from my father's parents. Actually now that I remember some pictures from back then, I don't even think I looked too underweight. But my grandparents claimed my medical file said "severely neglected ". All the time I had to listen to that shit. Which takes me to these grandparents. So at 5-6 years old (I was sent there before that too for a few months, that's when I was potty trained I'm guessing), I was placed with them (different cities). Sister was living with them all this time, they split us up so it wasn't too much work. We weren't isolated or anything, we did get sent back and forth some.
At first it was so much better, but it slowly turned into a nightmare. I wasn't really taught autonomy, I remember in first grade I was shocked that others had keys, went to shops alone, meanwhile I didn't know my address. I was driven to school too, for way longer than needed. I was also beaten once there too, my grandfather actually broke some kind of toy sword on me. I don't even remember what I did, I know I saw it as an overreaction at the time. I think maybe I was joking about something and I kept laughing but it may not be accurate. He also didn't teach me to pee standing up, which I mention, because they bragged about how they potty trained me.
I was taught not to share anything with others (except my sister, I had to share everything with her that could be shared), I was given like 20 usd worth of money (more buying power than in USA though) at a time, but I was told not to spend it, which I didn't understand, took it at all on trips and since I wasn't trusted before with keys or money I lost all my money several times. I was supposed to ask permission every time I wanted to buy a shitty bag of chips.
I lost a lot of things out of pockets all the time up to a point.
I wasn't allowed to invite anyone over to our house, apparently that was a gypsy thing to do. I was allowed in other people's yards but somehow entering a house was not okay. There were some exceptions, but it had to be sanctioned, like a birthday party. I was once stuck in someone's house because of heavy rain. I got shit for it, why didn't I listen to the thunder before the rain and looked at sky...
I got more and more secretive because of shit like this, did bad things that I didn't tell, and it got worse and worse. I stopped telling anything about my day at school. One word answers were all they got after a while. I'm one of those sneaky and lying people now.
I wasn't given the perfectly fine free room, to save in heating, had to share with my sister. I wrote a longer post about this earlier.
I was taken to a psychologist like 2 times in 1st grade, but my grandfather didn't come after me in time for school and I cried from panic. They stopped taking me after that. They probably thought it was the psychologist. I wonder how things would've turned out if they took me back. I definitely had temper issues, I would snap and cry or get aggressive from time to time. Probably had some issues from being with my other grandparents and they didn't deal with it.
They were extremely frugal, shutting off lights obsessively. Saving money any way they could. Giving me that money telling me not the spend it, saving money on heating with that room I mentioned. They bought the cheapest thing of everything. Of course they had money for my grandfather's heavy smoking habit and 100000 potted plants.
And by the way I inhaled so much second hand smoke, he would sometimes smoke in the bathroom, and I would go in right after. Sometimes I was sitting next to him outside while he smoked, wind blowing it straight into my face, and he was like oh darn, sorry, sit on my other side. Like it was some minor inconvenience... (he didn't notice instantly, only if I started squirming out of the way). Chalk it up to ignorance, I guess.
Eating ice cream if it wasn't hot enough outside was not okay... Or even cold tap water would cause a sore throat apparently. Maybe this part is not as bad, because they truly believed that. But I disobeyed whenever I could and nothing happened.
Maybe all this is just normal experience growing up, and I'm just way too sensitive. Either way it sucks because if they truly were bad at parenting, then I started with a major disadvantage in life
Or good parenting doesn't exist
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