I relate with this quite a bit but I'm not entirely sure as a few things don't seem like me. I don't get angry often, I'm pretty chill. A lot of the other criteria I relate to but it's hard to say if it's BPD or the other things I'm diagnosed with. It's also hard to say if the other diagnoses aren't just BPD in disguise.
I identify with this as well having been diagnosed, undiagnosed and re-diagnosed with BiPolar 2 as well as having BPD. My current Psychologist, who has being seeing me for years and is a specialist in PTSD and other bid dog disorders, says that it's hard to tell with me because so many of my BiPolar 2-like symptoms can also be ascribed to my other disorders (mainly, I surmise, BPD). "BPD in disguise," as you mentioned.
The psychiatrist before the current one did diagnose BiPolar 2, but said it was very hard to detect under the major anxiety disorder. Anyway, it was a "soft" diagnosis because she mainly attributed it to my sensitivity to SSRI's and other psychotropics, which I'm beginning to think might be a result of the Fibro., instead.
So, we in the same boat in that BPD seems to mirror other disorders which makes them hard to diagnose and frustrating for us.
Lastly, I know you mentioned that some of the criteria doesn't fit with the diagnosis of BPD for you, but you don't have to have all of them to have the disorder.
I'm feeling for you in this conundrum. ♥