I am very close to making the final decision as I just don't see myself being happy in this universe. Everything to cope (hobbies, friends, etc) just feels like a band aid in this cold, cruel reality. Even in moments I've felt happier than usual I always knew that fact. I don't think I'm mentally ill, maybe just a little less tough than most that are able to handle this reality.
What I'm looking for is, books or just personal stories from other users that explain what makes someone make that final decision. The final straw as they say.
I never had a chance at life (trauma at a young age resulting in difficulty connecting with others all my life) so SI says maybe give it a chance.
but even in a happier life, this universe just SUCKS and is horrible and chaotic for no reason at all. Even in a perfect utopia world, the way the universe is built is random, and things just happen that make no sense and are unjust. I would really like my suffering to end one way or another and it seems the most likely way is to just CTB, so I'm just curious about what has made people finally pull the trigger and decide to go, once and for all. I want to hear about final straws. So, people who are firm on their decision I would like to hear from
What I'm looking for is, books or just personal stories from other users that explain what makes someone make that final decision. The final straw as they say.
I never had a chance at life (trauma at a young age resulting in difficulty connecting with others all my life) so SI says maybe give it a chance.
but even in a happier life, this universe just SUCKS and is horrible and chaotic for no reason at all. Even in a perfect utopia world, the way the universe is built is random, and things just happen that make no sense and are unjust. I would really like my suffering to end one way or another and it seems the most likely way is to just CTB, so I'm just curious about what has made people finally pull the trigger and decide to go, once and for all. I want to hear about final straws. So, people who are firm on their decision I would like to hear from
