Venting Body hate

[Stargazing:<]

My physical body makes me sick.
Every time I look in a mirror or at a photo of myself it makes me want to starve until I waste away.
Every time I tried to make progress at the gym my partner didn't want to go or some other stupid shit would get in the way.
I hate the hair that covers my body, it reminds me how I'm not where I want to be and how I'm still connected to the man that I called a father.
I'm thinking about starving myself, I already have a unhealthy relationship with food so it'll be easy to cut my calories down to a minimum. I even already have a calorie tracker on my phone.

 

[strawb12]

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. My situation is different but I can relate to looking in the mirror & just hating it, feeling like everything is wrong. I think that what you've been trying has been healthy like going to the gym & even though its not quite as healthy I still really hope that cutting down on calories can help you feel more comfortable in your body.

 

[MrDarkness]

I always hated looking at my face, I hate taking pictures of it and looking at the mirror, I remember I wanted to cut my face off or scar it so I could wear a mask all the time never showing it again. I hope your able to find peace

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Ive hated my face and body all my life. I'm a naturally unattractive woman who wasn't blessed with anything about me considered conventionally attractive, but my appearance was continuously worsened (starting mainly in my late teens/early 20s) by a constant, continual barrage of health problems; my already thin hair fell out even more and now, since the last few years, almost totally bald except for some fuzz on my head, underweight and body, super thin lips (I hated them even as a teen, so long before big lips were THE THING, and add in aging and sleep deprivation for years, and more. I avoid photos, I hate looking into a mirror. I am embarrassed by my looks and always have been. Its really hard living in a body you despise and which embarrassed you. I feel for anyone and everyone who feels that way about their looks and physical self

 

[flightlessbutterfly]

Ive hated my face and body all my life. I'm a naturally unattractive woman who wasn't blessed with anything about me considered conventionally attractive, but my appearance was continuously worsened (starting mainly in my late teens/early 20s) by a constant, continual barrage of health problems; my already thin hair fell out even more and now, since the last few years, almost totally bald except for some fuzz on my head, underweight and body, super thin lips (I hated them even as a teen, so long before big lips were THE THING, and add in aging and sleep deprivation for years, and more. I avoid photos, I hate looking into a mirror. I am embarrassed by my looks and always have been. Its really hard living in a body you despise and which embarrassed you. I feel for anyone and everyone who feels that way about their looks and physical self

I always hated looking at my face, I hate taking pictures of it and looking at the mirror, I remember I wanted to cut my face off or scar it so I could wear a mask all the time never showing it again. I hope your able to find peace

My physical body makes me sick.
Every time I look in a mirror or at a photo of myself it makes me want to starve until I waste away.
Every time I tried to make progress at the gym my partner didn't want to go or some other stupid shit would get in the way.
I hate the hair that covers my body, it reminds me how I'm not where I want to be and how I'm still connected to the man that I called a father.
I'm thinking about starving myself, I already have a unhealthy relationship with food so it'll be easy to cut my calories down to a minimum. I even already have a calorie tracker on my phone.

Hello, local assurance butterfly here!
I'm not going to say 'all bodies are beautiful' because in all honesty, that's just something people say to make themselves feel better when compared to the beauty standards of this society. No, I'm going to say this: your body and your self image is a byproduct of society's beauty standards and therefore, you believe yourself to be odd, ugly or unattractive. Fuck society, fuck beauty standards, fuck what other people think. It's hard to see yourself as beautiful or good looking or even average. Hell, I don't like smiling on photos nor do I like having the bottom half of my face in photos because I'm extremely uncomfortable with my own reflection.

So do yourself a favour and break all the mirrors in your house. (Metaphorically, literally, whatever doesn't get you in trouble of course)
Go indulge. I'm not joking. Go indulge in something you like to eat and drink and wear clothes you like the look of. Maybe it won't help you at all, but if you are able to trick your mind into thinking you're ugly, you're able to trick your mind into thinking you're just alright with how you look. I have an incredibly bad relationship with food (ARFID) and it affected my appetite, appearance and health badly. That's totally okay, because that's what society does to make us feel insecure that way.

And hey, if nothing else works, at least you get to enjoy the taste of food without thinking of your appearance for once. Fuck beauty standards, fuck society, okay? I'm here to appreciate you, not your appearance, or your skills.

 

[Baron]

I feel the same way when I look at myself. At least you're trying to go to the gym. If you want to go, go alone if you have to. I have no motivation to change anything, although everything about my life is as pathetic as it can get. You don't want to end up like me.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful being trapped in that situation, existence is just too cruel.

 

[Lavander 230]

Don't go to the gym, trust me on this when I say it, but you need to have long hours of walk. It burns calories really fast assuming you do this daily for at least 2 hours. Eventually after few weeks, a month or so you'll stop craving junk food and overall you'll want to eat less or you'll feel full much easier and it would sometimes even make you want to throw up if you keep eating like you are doing it now. Your legs will feel sore for the first few weeks but this feeling will fade over time. I don't think there's a single better exercise specifically for burning excess fat. Yes, you can do pushups and stuff but that targets mainly your protein/carbs. As far as your diet is concerned, I suggest increasing your intake in healthy meats/dairy products, it will make you feel full easier plus it tastes just as much if not better than junk food. If you're too lazy to aimlessly walk for long hours, just get employed in a job that makes you move a lot.

 

[blitz]

I also cant look in the mirror anymore. I am extremely underweight and most likely suffer from an eating disorder. I hate what I see and it gets worse everyday. If I see myslef I feel like an alien and its not me.

I hope you find the strength to go to the gym alone or do whatever you need to feel better about yourself.

 

[Terrible00]

I really hate my body too. Even been called ugly by strangers from time to time, I am aware of how terrible I look and it makes me sick. Even when I'm walking I overthink how I look like when I'm doing it, leading me to have a terrible posture.

 

[L'homme Triste]

Used to at least kind of like my body but now I also despise the way I look, and any effort I could possibly put in to help change it just feels so futile. I also got a calorie tracker recently, I like spreadsheets and stuff so maybe that'll help.

 

[Aya&Dazy]

I don't work out because it makes me hungry even more and trust me too many creepy people at the gym. Dancing alone in my room is way more fun. I don't care to build muscle so easiest and fastest way is cutting calories. Eating little also mean spending less money. lol You can do it, you don't need to go to the gym.

 

[ruru_241]

i also dont like my body much, it makes me feel gross. its also a thing keeping me alive also because i rather look skinner when i'm dead than a bigger size.