Bit of a hurdle

[Red]

Recently got letter back from NHS neurologist; apparently my numerous physical issues are caused by some relatively brief mental health issues I experienced over two decades ago (less than 2 year adjustment period with terrible company, also too many hard drugs!) and also my crappy childhood oh yeah that'll definitely give me osteoarthritis and endometriosis, you daft bint!!

FFS these people seriously suck arse… she blatantly didn't want me there to begin with and most certainly judged me on sight, thinking me a drama queen instead of a reasonably level headed person who is there because I HAVE to be, not because I WANT to be anywhere near a goddamn hospital in the last year for Christ's sake!

So sick of this shit, it ruins my credibility with everyone; other doctors, friends, even family - it doesn't pair well with all the wrong tests they've run that have come back clear. Why, instead of thinking, "oops still not looking in the right place, let's run another test", or even "hmm, maybe one of the several confirmed things you have is responsible for this particular symptom?" does this automatically mean that I'm mentally unwell or even physically manifesting something imagined out of nowhere?!

Why are they not seriously, methodically troubleshooting this by now? Surely it's the most cost effective solution after five years of this?! I literally have a list of all the different things I can possibly think of that it could be, yet can't get a doctor to go through it with me to cross stuff off - I've actually now booked an appointment with GP to request a psychiatric evaluation just to check if this has actually been my problem the whole time; do they all just think I'm a hysterical hypochondriac that just happens to have a bunch of "coincidental", physical signs to match??

Where is the compassion?? Apparently the number of malingerers to genuine medical cases is negligible - so why is the go to attitude from these doctors so cold and indifferent, as if the whole population was on the make and/or prone to panic each and every time they throw up or pass out?

THIS is why life is so unbearable for many of us, THIS is what makes me just hate everyone and every day all the time, because for every beautiful thing that should be normal there are fifty awful bastards who don't give a shit and would tread on your face in a second if it just got them a little higher; people who see weakness as an opportunity for gain rather than a chance to offer kindness; those who take joy in seeing others fail instead of feeling good when others feel good too…

All my life I've seen far more bad parts of humanity than good and it's so hard to ignore. I try to cling on to the shining moments but they're so few and far between I just feel like an idiot for being optimistic. Not having family, friends, a job or even a bloody purpose I can keep up with because I'm far too unwell to be of any real use whether it be social or professional..!

I'm clinging onto a few gossamer threads but really there's just darkness all around me. I kid myself when I think there was ever a time when it wasn't just that, pretty much just nothing but pitch black darkness with the occasional flash of something bright…

Wait, it's all just shit??

Always has been.

Gah. If you made it this far, thank you and apologies for the rant - it just stings when I realise that once again, I'm completely on my own when it all comes down to it. I'm not sure that anyone believes me at this point and it's both frustrating and deeply upsetting. Not being taken seriously when it's serious seriously sucks lol

 

[timf]

I have seen health care in the US follow the path of the NHS over the decades. Our path has been facilitated by insurance companies and lawyers but ends at the same place, bureaucracy.

Since collectivized doctors tend towards the path of least resistance (doing as little as possible, taking no risks, and serving the interests of their own organization as a priority) you may not find anyone interested in your situation.

To increase your odds of getting someone interested you might consider the following;

1. Never show your frustration. If you present yourself as simple-minded or confused you have a shot of connecting with someone who still has some compassion.

2. If possible find a rural location as the pressure to move product (patients) through the "conveyor line" might be less and someone might have the time to consider your situation.

3. Keep it simple. You may wish to avoid taxing the person that hears your situation so the temptation to blow you off won't be as great.

4. You might wish to do your own research such that if there is a particular test you would like performed, you can guide the person with the selective presentation of symptoms. You will have to keep in mind that every thing is recorded and that often your medical record will be seen as proof that you are a "complainer".

5. Keep in mind that you and the people you encounter will often have vastly different objectives. You are probably interested in finding a solution to your difficulties. They are also interested in finding a solution to their difficulties. If they see you as their difficulty, their solution will be to get rid of you as soon as possible.

 

[WornOutLife]

It seems everything has always been and will always be sh*t!
I can't believe how much "the system" sucks. How on Earth can they expect these ways of doing things to really help us?

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be awful having to deal with medical professionals and hospitals. They don't care at all, they just want to get rid of you as quickly as possible, and they often just say physical symptoms are all in your head. It is hard to get better if we cannot get the help we need. I hope you find relief from your situation.

 

[Red]

I have seen health care in the US follow the path of the NHS over the decades. Our path has been facilitated by insurance companies and lawyers but ends at the same place, bureaucracy.

Since collectivized doctors tend towards the path of least resistance (doing as little as possible, taking no risks, and serving the interests of their own organization as a priority) you may not find anyone interested in your situation.

To increase your odds of getting someone interested you might consider the following;

1. Never show your frustration. If you present yourself as simple-minded or confused you have a shot of connecting with someone who still has some compassion.

2. If possible find a rural location as the pressure to move product (patients) through the "conveyor line" might be less and someone might have the time to consider your situation.

3. Keep it simple. You may wish to avoid taxing the person that hears your situation so the temptation to blow you off won't be as great.

4. You might wish to do your own research such that if there is a particular test you would like performed, you can guide the person with the selective presentation of symptoms. You will have to keep in mind that every thing is recorded and that often your medical record will be seen as proof that you are a "complainer".

5. Keep in mind that you and the people you encounter will often have vastly different objectives. You are probably interested in finding a solution to your difficulties. They are also interested in finding a solution to their difficulties. If they see you as their difficulty, their solution will be to get rid of you as soon as possible.

Thanks for the advice - not dismissing it at all, but it's all stuff I have learned to bear in mind along the way over these last few years (mostly via the hard way). I used to trust doctors implicitly but after being thrown into some horrendous situations by people who should know better, my trust in these people is now almost non existent.

I just don't think it should be this way; we shouldn't have to tread carefully to ensure we get fair and equal treatment - it should be a given, especially in professions that should care for the individual as their upmost priority. They need to be held accountable for failing to do their duty, which they have each sworn to do upon embarking upon this particular career path.

I probably, by now, have gained a reputation as a "complainer"; after receiving sub par treatment over and over, I've spoken out on a number of occasions and have only got certain steps ahead by forcing them to do the job they are paid for. Without this voice I would surely be dead by now. After each time they've shown more diligence and are now more careful when dealing with me. I will not be silenced!

My main problems are simply being female and having tattoos lol did you know that too many doctors genuinely believe that women have a lower pain threshold, despite studies showing the opposite to be true? Some even believe that black people don't feel pain as badly as white people, which is a completely ridiculous notion and fucking racist to boot.

My care should not be based upon one person's preconceived opinions when a methodical, logical approach is all that is needed. I long for the day when we don't have to speak to any firmly-stuck-up-their-own-arse-all-they-see-is-pink-ANUS "doctors" at all and are simply scanned and analysed by a computer instead; all updated to the latest advances in medicine instead of being stuck in one particular social class and year of learning (for many refuse to update their skills and knowledge base, thinking they already know it all!)…

It's hard enough being unwell and having to muddle through, undiagnosed and invalidatedI have neither the patience nor the energy to dance a merry dance that will undoubtedly change according to the person I go to see. It's a losing battle before I already begin.

Got a list of people to sue once this thing sparks off something spectacular - I'm tired of fighting so have taken a backseat for now while I wait for it to ignite. The best hope is that is swift and takes me quickly, otherwise these people are going to rue the day they ever dismissed me so readily; I have a bunch of medical negligence resources on standby and even if I die I'm encouraging my future husband to pursue my case to make life difficult for those who have failed me.

Looooove the idea of biting back FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE, wooOOoooOOOoooo