Discussion Better Coping Mechanisms - What Gets You Through?

[kane]

How do you cope when you're feeling tired of life? Those days when nothing seems worthwhile, you have zero energy, and you basically just want it all to be over? For a long time I relied on eating - the sugar high from certain foods really lifted my mood. But now my digestion and teeth are pretty screwed up, so I'm trying to be more careful, and it's left a real gap. There are so many days when I just don't want to be alive anymore - not that I'm actively suicidal, but times when I'm just holding on for the feeling to end. Nothing seems meaningful or worth doing. Everything feels so effortful and tiring. Nothing is rewarding. I would stay in bed all day, but I can't sleep and it gets uncomfortable. The hours drag by.

I have pretty severe social anxiety/agoraphobia, so that puts me off being around people. I sometimes find podcasts or tv shows lift my mood, but there's so few things I genuinely relate to or find interesting. When I'm in this state I don't have the energy to read or play video games, or even really enjoy music. What do you use to alter your mood when you're that depressed - when you don't have it in you to do anything positive to improve your situation? What gets you through to a point where you can face the grim reality again?

 

[Fish_astronaut]

My answer is honest but not a good solution: alcohol. It hasn't become a real problem (yet), but I know it will. I relate a lot to the feelings you describe. In fact, podcasts are my other coping tool. But I am the same in that very few things actually distract me the way I'm yearning for. Thus...alcohol.....yeah, not a great solution...just felt the need to share. Sounds kind of like how you said you were with food. I need to be careful :/

The other thing I used to do before I got completely overrun with depression and anxiety is just go on a walk alone. I am an observer, so just getting out and seeing things would help pull me out of my head. But that does take energy.

Sorry I dont know of this is any help at all. Just know you aren't alone.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Honestly.... I basically just sit through it and wait for it to end.

The other thing I used to do before I got completely overrun with depression and anxiety is just go on a walk alone.

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE!!!! Yeah. If I'm having a bad day before work I'll go out for a walk and get my thoughts out. Basically talk to myself or just listen to some music. Music I relate to or uplifting music.

 

[kane]

My answer is honest but not a good solution: alcohol. It hasn't become a real problem (yet), but I know it will. I relate a lot to the feelings you describe. In fact, podcasts are my other coping tool. But I am the same in that very few things actually distract me the way I'm yearning for. Thus...alcohol.....yeah, not a great solution...just felt the need to share. Sounds kind of like how you said you were with food. I need to be careful :/

The other thing I used to do before I got completely overrun with depression and anxiety is just go on a walk alone. I am an observer, so just getting out and seeing things would help pull me out of my head. But that does take energy.

Sorry I dont know of this is any help at all. Just know you aren't alone.

Mmm, alcohol can definitely take the edge off (in moderation). Unfortunately had to cut it for same reason I cut junk food - messes up my digestion. I miss that fuzzy relaxed feeling. I've also spent a lot of time walking alone, but there are days I can't face running into people, where I just want to hide from the world.

Thanks, it does help a little knowing others can relate to being in this state.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Did you ever try walking where/when you won't run into people? I work early so I go for walks around 2am and don't see much in the way of people. Or maybe there's a nature trail or something close by

 

[kane]

Did you ever try walking where/when you won't run into people? I work early so I go for walks around 2am and don't see much in the way of people. Or maybe there's a nature trail or something close by

I don't drive, so in order to get to nature trails I have to walk through my village and pass people. And even when I get there I often run into people on trails. I used to go for 'night walks', but it always felt kind of weird and scary. I'd rather just take a sleeping pill at that point.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I don't drive, so in order to get to nature trails I have to walk through my village and pass people. And even when I get there I often run into people on trails. I used to go for 'night walks', but it always felt kind of weird and scary. I'd rather just take a sleeping pill at that point.

what have you tried? i know a lot of at home therapies that might help

 

[kane]

what have you tried? i know a lot of at home therapies that might help

For depression/anxiety? Most of the commonly recommended stuff (exercise, meditation, CBT, medication, homeopathy.) Can't say definitively that none of them worked, but more looking for a 'short-term boost' kind of thing here, rather than something you have to work at for a while before it helps. Something you don't have to force yourself into when you're low.

 

[Life_and_Death]

For depression/anxiety? Most of the commonly recommended stuff (exercise, meditation, CBT, medication, homeopathy.) Can't say definitively that none of them worked, but more looking for a 'short-term boost' kind of thing here, rather than something you have to work at for a while before it helps. Something you don't have to force yourself into when you're low.

i have a kitty kat. i have 2 of them actually but ones more of a protector and watches me from a distance. but june is always by my side and cuddling me. if im crying they both come to make sure im ok. if im having a bad day i go to june for cuddles and she always cuddles back and she always listens when i talk. i also find her fur and breathing to be relaxing (even though her nickname is "broken motorboat" but i love her lol). thats only one idea though. theres more cheaper/less responsibility options
if youd like you can PM me and we can talk there. i have a few different options, but to find one thats best for you could take a bit of work, of course it seems like everything working towards recovery does

 

[kane]

i have a kitty kat. i have 2 of them actually but ones more of a protector and watches me from a distance. but june is always by my side and cuddling me. if im crying they both come to make sure im ok. if im having a bad day i go to june for cuddles and she always cuddles back and she always listens when i talk. i also find her fur and breathing to be relaxing (even though her nickname is "broken motorboat" but i love her lol). thats only one idea though. theres more cheaper/less responsibility options
if youd like you can PM me and we can talk there. i have a few different options, but to find one thats best for you could take a bit of work, of course it seems like everything working towards recovery does

Yes, pets are great. When I was staying with my folks I would often play with/stroke our dog when I was struggling. I did toy with the idea of getting my own, but I don't think I could cope with vets bills. Plus it would be one more obligation to stay if I do decide I want to ctb.
It's very kind of you to offer your help. I should warn you though I generally seem to make helping me extremely complicated (lol).

 

[Life_and_Death]

youre asking questions and looking for help. thats a step in the right direction and for that im willing to help even if you make it complicated. it would be hypocritical of me to think you are always going to put 110% into recovery when i cant even do that myself everyday.

did you think maybe volunteering at a pet shelter? or being a dog walker? cat sitter?

 

[kane]

youre asking questions and looking for help. thats a step in the right direction and for that im willing to help even if you make it complicated. it would be hypocritical of me to think you are always going to put 110% into recovery when i cant even do that myself everyday.

did you think maybe volunteering at a pet shelter? or being a dog walker? cat sitter?

All potentially good ideas. But all would require me to overcome significant spikes in anxiety, at least initially.

 

[Life_and_Death]

All potentially good ideas. But all would require me to overcome significant spikes in anxiety, at least initially.

i have a few different anxieties myself. (social anxiety included) and im a delivery driver. i could help you with that too :)
i added my job because i have to deal with people sometimes, so its to show you that i have an idea and it can be managed/i know how to. or at least methods that could be helpful to you

 

[kane]

i have a few different anxieties myself. (social anxiety included) and im a delivery driver. i could help you with that too :)
i added my job because i have to deal with people sometimes, so its to show you that i have an idea and it can be managed/i know how to. or at least methods that could be helpful to you

Thanks, but I don't think I'm really in a space where I can deal with trying to get better right now (probably shouldn't have posted in recovery tbh.)

 

[Life_and_Death]

Thanks, but I don't think I'm really in a space where I can deal with trying to get better right now (probably shouldn't have posted in recovery tbh.)

you ever want to talk about anything the option to pm is always open :) it doesnt even have to be about recovery. literally anything. suicide, the weather, just need a person to listen to your vents. ill be here :)

 

[kane]

you ever want to talk about anything the option to pm is always open :) it doesnt even have to be about recovery. literally anything. suicide, the weather, just need a person to listen to your vents. ill be here :)

Thanks, that's very kind of you.

 

[ilovenightmares]

Alcohol is my medication. It works but strongly advise to find something else.

 

[Susannah]

My answer is honest but not a good solution: alcohol. It hasn't become a real problem (yet), but I know it will. I relate a lot to the feelings you describe. In fact, podcasts are my other coping tool. But I am the same in that very few things actually distract me the way I'm yearning for. Thus...alcohol.....yeah, not a great solution...just felt the need to share. Sounds kind of like how you said you were with food. I need to be careful :/

The other thing I used to do before I got completely overrun with depression and anxiety is just go on a walk alone. I am an observer, so just getting out and seeing things would help pull me out of my head. But that does take energy.

Sorry I dont know of this is any help at all. Just know you aren't alone.

Some alcohol here too, and when things are really pointless and I need to shut down my brain and thoughts for a while, I smoke a joint. I'm not really a "smoker", so I get really stone each time. In that state I don't worry about anything. I just stay home, enjoying being bored. But that's me, and it doesn't mean it would have the same effect on others.
I do have a legal runaway as well, music. I'm passionate about music. It's my therapy, and I never leave my house without my headphones.

 

[mathieu]

I just lie in bed and try to sleep.

 

[fettuccinee]

Drugs, games, and my pet duck are what get me through a day.

 

[muffin222]

I like to listen to music that uplifts me, sit outside and just listen to the wind blowing, and meditate.

 

[AfraidofEverything]

When I'm at my lowest and can't ground myself enough to stop panicking/crying then I will use kratom/phenibut and it works. Also not allowing myself to lie in bed on those days because there's no way in hell I'm getting out if I go down. I try to do something active instead no matter how much I don't want to, I force myself.

Otherwise I take supplements that supposedly help with anxiety/depression and I distract my mind hard. Mostly games, drawing and any work that needs doing.