I

imbroken

Beyond Repair..
Dec 6, 2022
4
I feel so stupid. My ideation has been very intense lately. I purchased sodium nitrate thinking it was nitrite, which turns out to be useless. I stole a glock 9 from a woman I was seeing. I have like 50 feet of high quality rope. One of these 3 will be my method.

I decided to give therapy one last try. I found a guy I was actually excited about and the first session went really well. I expressed my distrust with therapist, because just a month ago I was recently released from the psyche ward. I had fired my previous therapist, and was working with a stop gap therapist. I expressed my ideatation, but was clear I had no intent. I told her that I did have a rope that I had set up on a bridge a week prior, again with no current intent to use it. She wasnt comfortable with that and said it needed to be removed. I agreed. We agreed I would call a friend and have him remove it. We made a saftey plan until we were to meet again. I felt confident and hopeful. Then 5 mins later she called me back and said I had to go the hospital. They kept me. Trust for therapists gone!

So its been almost 2 months since my hospitalization and Ive been off my meds for over a week. Intense ideation I decided to give myself a chance. I looked for a counselor, found one, first session went well. I told him about a rope I had, I did not mention my gun, or the sodium nitrate, or this website. We had someone remove thw rope from my truck while on the phone. Things seemed to be going well. After the session I had a situation occur with my wife that resulted in me having homicidal ideation towards another man, probably unjustifiably but, nevertheless. I told him about it yesterday, only our 2nd session. I told him I used SI coping skills to calm down and that I had no intent on acting. He decided to proceed to threaten me. He said that I had to contact this dude and tell him I had thoughts of harming him, and that I no longer had intent. I didnt have the guys number, so he made me have my wife relay the message to him. I did so under the threat of hospitalization. After I satisfied his request he scheduled for the next session. Later on that day I emailed him and terminated his services. I ensured that I was safe and not intent or plans to harm myself or others.

He proceeded to say that if I did not answer his calls or respond that he would call in a wellness check. I responded that I am safe and that I did not want to talk at that time. He said we need 3 more sessions before he could discharge me. I told him again, I am not using his services.

15 minutes later the police comes knocking on my friends door looking for me. She told them I was not there and they left. Now I am scared shitless. I know that when requested from a mental clinician, they usually force you to the hospital no matter what you say. Im wondering if there is a way out of this. Im scared to go home. I am not going in voluntarily. I dont know what to do. I feel so betrayed. I tried my best to give the gist of whats happening without making the post too long. Do anyone have experience with wellness checks? Can I ignore it and will it go away? Im thinking about CTB before they get a chance to get me now. I wanted to do it on my own terms in my own time, but it seems like the universe is readying the atmosphere for me. Please help.
 
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Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
I don't have any answers.. I honestly felt scared just reading this post.

Bump.

And maybe try post it in Suicide Discussion. Maybe you can get more answers there.
 
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Fulminare

Fulminare

Read Thomas Szasz!
Feb 20, 2022
231
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your story reminds me why I also left therapy.

About the wellness check - it depends. If your therapist told the authorities that you expressed homicidal urges against someone in your life, then they will keep on looking for you. If your therapist just told them to check up on you without any details, then it's a different story. It all depends on the severity.

I'd contact your therapist and try to talk it out. Go to another three sessions if need be. Lie your ass off to get out of it (that's what I personally did and they let me go without any issues). To be frank, most therapist do not care if you've had horrible experiences in facilities. They will send you there nonetheless.

Again, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I'd recommend you to not share any details about your suicidal ideation, or at least not tell them that you have a noose, gun, or some sort of substance. The therapist is inclined to report it somehow.
 
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S

sufferingextremely

Member
Oct 9, 2021
57
What country are you in? The civil commitment process is a very serious matter and there are limits to what they can do under the law. I'm only familiar with the laws in the U.S., but I do know they are sort of similar elsewhere.

If you try to ctb on such a short notice, things are likely going to be a disaster. You will end up in a hospital again and god knows when they will let you out. I'm not giving directions to do or not do anything by the way, just information.

When the police do a wellness check, they are not coming to take you to a hospital. They will be concerned with your mental status to a limited extent. They typically want to make sure that you have the mental capacity to take care of yourself (eat, bathe, etc). They will look at your overall appearance and see if you look well nourished, and they might make a note as to if you are well groomed, etc. They will obviously want to know if you have an intent to hurt yourself or anyone else. It is fairly easy to get by a wellness check.

If someone files papers on you to have you forcibly hospitalized, they don't do a wellness check, they come after you with a set of handcuffs. It is a similar process to being arrested. The main difference being that you have committed no crime.

Someone will appear before a judge or your therapist/doctor/whoever will try to file a clinician initiated process. The clinician will have less hurdles than an ordinary individual. The judge is likely to be a judicial magistrate if you live in the U.S. If the judge agrees that you meet the criteria, the judge will issue an order to have you taken into custody. That order is what gives the police the legal right to enter your residence against your consent, to handcuff you against your consent, to put you in their car against your consent, and to take you to the hospital against your consent. If the judge has not issued an order then they are not allowed to do any of this.

You seem to be panicking and being very reactive and this leads to very poor outcomes. If I were you, I'd let the police do the wellness check. I'd make it clear to them that I have no desire to harm myself or others. If somehow it turns out that they do try to hospitalize you (the odds are against this), I would act as calm and cooperative as possible. I would go without a fuss. You want to appear mentally well and in control of yourself. They can only keep you for so long before you are in front of a judge. If you've got it together, the judge will rule in your favor and you go home. It is fairly likely that the hospital will send you home before you get to the point where it is time to see the judge. Where I live, they've got only a matter of days that they can keep you.

This therapist sounds like not too much fun, but if he wants to see you 3 more times, I'd play along with that, just to get him out of your hair. One of the ways that a therapist can justify having you hospitalized is that you do not cooperate with the outpatient treatment that was recommended by the last hospital that you were forcibly admitted to. I'd ride out 3 visits if that's what it takes to get rid of that excuse.

The fact that you were excited about therapy is a sign that you would probably benefit from it. If your current therapist is not right for you, you can get another one.

If you need further information about this, just ask. It would be very helpful to know what country you are in. In the U.S. each state has their own laws, but the laws are very similar. I would be happy to look up the laws for your country. It is probably a good idea for you to look them up yourself. This civil commitment process is rife with abuse and people's rights get plowed all over routinely. I'm unfortunately a veteran of this shit. Believe me, I know real well what you're going through with this.

It would really be helpful to know what country you are in. If you're in the U.S. it would also be helpful to know what state you are in, but that's too much to disclose.

I just read this again. Your therapist is quite possibly breaking the law. If you lived in the U.S. exactly where I live, for sure he would be. It partly depends on the extent to which you have been forced into therapy with this therapist. If he can pull the "not cooperating with assigned outpatient treatment" card, then he's got you. Even there, he is not unlimited in what he can do. Forcing you to tell someone that you had homicidal ideation about him/her is total bullshit. They can't threaten you with forced hospitalization over that. That is an abuse of the legal process.

One factor that you have to keep in mind is that the people involved in this usually don't even know the law that well. They do as they please because they are dealing with mentally ill people who 1) don't know their rights, 2) can't afford a lawyer to enforce their rights, and 3) have limited credibility in a courtroom. There is no incentive for them to know the law because in practice the law doesn't exist.

I've had hospitals blatantly violate my rights and then describe the actions that violated my rights in my medical records. They are so ignorant of the law that they document their own crimes in writing and sign what they just wrote.
 
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