littleadonis

littleadonis

We all deserve a choice.
Oct 27, 2024
58
When you already have a method and you want the courage to go through with it, what's the best drug or mix of drugs to supress your survival instincts and give you the courage you need?
 
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bamster

Member
Oct 18, 2024
5
probably a benzo but i'd recommend going sober cuz you will also be drowsy and basically retarded
 
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Scorpio moon gal

Scorpio moon gal

Member
Apr 26, 2024
35
probably a benzo but i'd recommend going sober cuz you will also be drowsy and basically retarded
but imagine if your method of ctb is by throwing yourself off a building....do you think benzos will work? to keep you unconscious untill you finally hit the ground? I'm so afraid of that feeling of falling from a height.....that I've been contemplating to mix alcohol and benzos before jumping off
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,530
I plan on taking shrooms when I ctb. Whenever I take them I find that my SI goes down. I got high two days ago and I was in this sort of intense state of euphoria where I felt like someone could hold me down, rape me, torture me, disfigure me, and then kill me in the worst way imaginable and I wouldn't even give a shit. It was great!

Anyway, I feel like depressants like alcohol, benzos, and/or opioids would probably do the trick.
 
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littleadonis

littleadonis

We all deserve a choice.
Oct 27, 2024
58
I got high two days ago and I was in this sort of intense state of euphoria where I felt like someone could hold me down, rape me, torture me, disfigure me, and then kill me in the worst way imaginable and I wouldn't even give a shit.
You became a buddhist for a hot minute lol. I have felt some euphoria before but shrooms usually take me through a whole range of emotions and I feel emotionally numb for a long time afterwards. That's why I was thinking of taking it beforehand so I would be depressed enough to go through with it. I had picked some a couple months ago.
Anyway, I feel like depressants like alcohol, benzos, and/or opioids would probably do the trick.
I was thinking alcohol because of how it gives you courage but then I feel that it can make me happy too and I want to be as depressed as possible to make it easier. I also thought about benzos but I don't know how I'd get them and I think I'll avoid opioids because they make you happy too.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,530
You became a buddhist for a hot minute lol. I have felt some euphoria before but shrooms usually take me through a whole range of emotions and I feel emotionally numb for a long time afterwards. That's why I was thinking of taking it beforehand so I would be depressed enough to go through with it. I had picked some a couple months ago.

I was thinking alcohol because of how it gives you courage but then I feel that it can make me happy too and I want to be as depressed as possible to make it easier. I also thought about benzos but I don't know how I'd get them and I think I'll avoid opioids because they make you happy too.
Alcohol can actually worsen your emotions quite a bit if you get drunk enough. I once had a complete breakdown thanks to drinking half a mickey of vodka. I made a weird ass thread on here that was completely incomprehensible and I tried emailing my school to tell them to fuck off. It's honestly kind of hilarious looking back on it. I actually tried getting drunk again before one of my more recent attempts, but sadly I couldn't down more than three shots of vodka before vomiting. My body can now only handle lighter alcoholic drinks.

While opioids are described as feeling euphoric, they aren't going to make you want to kill yourself any less. They will just make you want to nod off. A lot of people who are addicted to opioids don't even like them. This goes into the fact that "liking" and "desiring" aren't the same thing, with them being the result of two different neural processes. Euphoria isn't doesn't take away from wanting to die and has nothing to do with your SI. I was in a pretty intense state of euphoria during that trip from two days ago and I still wanted to die. Hell, I wanted to self-harm despite feeling amazing. That state of euphoria didn't take away from the fact that my SI felt much lower than usual. If anything, it made things better. It made it feel like if I died in that moment then I would feel nothing but happiness right before everything goes dark.
 
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bamster

Member
Oct 18, 2024
5
but imagine if your method of ctb is by throwing yourself off a building....do you think benzos will work? to keep you unconscious untill you finally hit the ground? I'm so afraid of that feeling of falling from a height.....that I've been contemplating to mix alcohol and benzos before jumping off
yes if your method is as failproof as jumping off a HIGH ENOUGH bridge or building (pls be high enough and go head first) then benzo's could be useful, in fact they might depress you more so you'll feel like cbting even more but this is all speculation. i have extensive benzo experience but none of it while trying to kill myself. personally I'd do it sober
 
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littleadonis

littleadonis

We all deserve a choice.
Oct 27, 2024
58
Euphoria isn't doesn't take away from wanting to die and has nothing to do with your SI. I was in a pretty intense state of euphoria during that trip from two days ago and I still wanted to die. Hell, I wanted to self-harm despite feeling amazing. That state of euphoria didn't take away from the fact that my SI felt much lower than usual. If anything, it made things better. It made it feel like if I died in that moment then I would feel nothing but happiness right before everything goes dark.
That's you though. How it works for you isn't necessarily how it works for everyone else. People feel suicidal for different reasons and so it will work differently for different people. There's no way I could ctb in a euphoric state because my suicidal thoughts are a direct result of how discontented and unfulfilled I am.
Alcohol can actually worsen your emotions quite a bit if you get drunk enough. I once had a complete breakdown thanks to drinking half a mickey of vodka. I made a weird ass thread on here that was completely incomprehensible and I tried emailing my school to tell them to fuck off. It's honestly kind of hilarious looking back on it. I actually tried getting drunk again before one of my more recent attempts, but sadly I couldn't down more than three shots of vodka before vomiting. My body can now only handle lighter alcoholic drinks.
I'm not like that. I'm a good drunk. People even prefer me when I'm drunk lol. Although, if I'm alone, I might be able to get myself into a bad mood??? idk.
 
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