Everyone is here because they are broken in some way. This is their outlet to express themselves without judgement about suicide and every aspect of it. I get that sometimes people can cross lines with what they express, but those can be dealt with and deleted by mods.
I feel the need to point out that, even though you believe you are giving a frank and honest opinion, your delivery and tone suck! You make people feel belittled which is why they respond the way they do to you. It's a defense mechanism. And even when they express their dislike to your rebuttal, you dig deeper instead of recognizing they've been hurt and belittled. Even if you oppose to what @Creekalalia said, they have the right to express this as it's not hurtful or threatening to others. Let them express here so they don't call the dr before ctb.
These are the words you used. Are these not ridicule?
"Negative", "spiteful", " juvenile", "selfish", "entitled", ,
maybe it is (those words), but no need to be judge and jury here. They already feel judged everyday irl. Probably as you and most members do.
An example of a frank and honest reply, without ridicule or belittling, to this post might look like this:
Certain professions like GP's are considered by law to be "mandatory reporters" which means they are required to notify the proper authorities when you express suicidal feelings. Otherwise they couid be culpable if you committed suicide and they did not speak up. So hopefully you can be understanding of this and not blame your Dr for doing what's legally required.
Your coworkers just care and it's learned human behavior to seek care for you.
Has anyone never expressed to you that being questioned is the epitome of casting blame? When people are asked why, they feel accused. Whenever you respond to a post that you take issue with, you almost always start it with a question... and instantly the OP will be defensive and feel accused. Just food for thought
I often pose a question in my posts because I am either seeking further explanation before making any further comment, because I want to venture an opinion but in a less confronting fashion than wording it as a statement (i.e. 'Have you considered that...?'), or because there is something that the OP would genuinely gain some insight from asking themselves. In this example, it was the third purpose.
I think it is naive to suggest that just
because people here are suicidal (although I would not label them as 'broken in some way' as you do) that they should be
exempt from any kind of critique, logic or accountability that would exist on absolutely any other forum dedicated to any conceivable topic, or indeed in broader society. Nor is it realistic for you to imply that the only two options should be either letting anyone say anything unquestioned or unchallenged, or reporting them directly to mods for post deletion. In fact,
that kind of passive-agressive, all-or-nothing scenario would be
more unhealthy than the situation you are currently taking issue with.
The OP in this case felt attacked because I was pointing out what I still maintain was a valid sense of selfishness and lack of logic in his post and broader attitude to those who had shown nothing but care and concern for him. The OP wasn't just
unaware of a fact on which he simply needed correction. Instead, his attitude itself came across as
willfully offensive. OP was
not merely unaware that his doctor may have been mandated to call the police if he was suicidal. OP had a consuming bitterness and resentfulness towards his doctor for doing so, and indeed imagined some twisted revenge taunting them by phone before suiciding. I find it puzzling that such behaviour doesn't seem to even raise an eyebrow from you, but my commenting to OP about those plans is such a cause for your concern.
None of the adjectives I used would be regarded as ridicule. Ridicule is designed to make the victim seem contemptuous in the eyes of others. My use of the adjectives, admittedly strong ones but not disproportionately so, was to get my point across
to the OP. They were not intended to harness the mockery of others (as 'Hey, everyone look how spiteful that guy is!' would be). Just because someone 'feels' attacked does not automatically mean that they
have been, nor does it mean that the actions taken by others were wrong or disproportionate. The way the OP subsequently responded (since deleted, but
quoted here) certainly did nothing to suggest they were an innocent victim of unfounded or invalid criticism. Rather, it further suggested their lack of insight into the thoughts and motivations of others (myself, their doctor, their coworkers).
While you state the rather obvious fact that users have the right to express things, other users
equally have the right to express their differing views or opinions on such things. As long as it is done within the rules, it is permitted. Valid critique of a post is
not solely limited to something which is 'hurtful or threatening' to other members, although obviously this is the most extreme category and rightfully so. Attitudes to others in general (such as not caring about traumatizing a train driver, hoping someone else is wrongfully charged with murder over their suicide etc.) are
not exempt from discussion or critique.
I hope my comments here have been as much 'food for thought' for you as yours were intended to be for me.
