Being unattractive

[eaturdirt]

The world is already hard to navigate but I feel like it's even harder for people who are not considered attractive like myself. There are so many beauty standards that especially women have to confirm to to be deemed desirable or beautiful and it's so sad. I have a big nose, small lips and a wide jaw. Everything's literally the opposite of what the beauty standards are nowadays. Add to that that I'm also quite chunky and tall and you have the recipe for disaster lol. I feel so self conscious because of it. Especially because you see so many people on social media as well who get praised for their beauty and they all look extremely different from me. It's so hard for men as well since women tend to be quite picky about who they date. Sometimes it feels like life would be easier if I was actually attractive.

 

[SuicidalOrganism]

the beauty standards are going to get higher tbh. 20 years maximum and your average joe will probably be self conscious about thier looks

 

[surroundedbydemons]

the beauty standards are going to get higher tbh. 20 years maximum and your average joe will probably be self conscious about thier looks

But even then, this average Joe will still pretend that looks don't matter and hide behind the usual politically correct mask, hahahahaha.
~~~
A bit offtopic, I know...

 

[Mirrory Me]

But even then, this average Joe will still pretend that looks don't matter and hide behind the usual politically correct mask, hahahahaha.
~~~
A bit offtopic, I know...

Why is that funny?

 

[surroundedbydemons]

Why is that funny?

Because the majority cannot see their hypocrisy, I find it amusing.

You don't have to laugh at what I find funny, and it does not have to be funny to you in the first place. People are different.

 

[SelfKill]

same

 

[Mirrory Me]

Because the majority cannot see their hypocrisy, I find it amusing.

You don't have to laugh at what I find funny, and it does not have to be funny to you in the first place. People are different.

Yes, people are different, and sometimes it's hard to understand them.

 

[Blurry_Buildings]

I think looks legitimately don't matter when anyone is 40 or older, and yet superficial dating apps still dominate how people find lifelong relationships. Unobtainable standards are everywhere. It's sad that we as a society often allow ourselves to judge people by their appearance and not by personality and actions.

 

[Mirrory Me]

How Do I Find Casual Sex When I'm This Ugly?

Dear Dr. NerdLove: So I was wondering how does an ugly guy navigate things like wanting casual sex or a friends with benefits kind of arrangement? A lot of these interactions tend to prioritize looks, but what if you don't have the looks? I don't know any examples of ugly guys getting anything...

www.doctornerdlove.com

 

[innominesatanas44]

Natural selection

 

[surroundedbydemons]

Natural selection

Harsh reality, but this is true. It is commonly known as sexual selection

 

[Mirrory Me]

Harsh reality, but this is true. It is commonly known as sexual selection

Even "ugly" people have sex and relationships.

 

[innominesatanas44]

Even "ugly" people have sex and relationships.

ex. Marko Jarić.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I was ugly before having 2 plastic surgeries. Now I just feel like an ugly person pretending to be attractive. Other people have told me that I'm an ugly person who spent money to be pretty, so it doesn't count. Not only do I have to look good, but I have to do it effortlessly and naturally. It just doesn't make sense.

 

[Iris Blue]

It does seem very difficult and unfair how people who are considered attractive are treated much better than those who are considered not. I unfortunately would be considered unattractive too compared to others. It can be hard on anyone but for people with low self esteem it seems almost unbearable. I am sorry you are struggling with this, I hope things get easier for you or at least more tolerable. Wishing you the best

 

[Superdeterminist]

I believe that life for attractive people is much easier. Everyone seeks their admiration, and they will tend to receive the most and best opportunities in life. Man or woman, I'm convinced that it's one of the most important factors for success and fulfilment. Which paints a bleak picture, since only a minority of people enjoy the privilege of being attractive.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm ugly on the inside and only average looking externally and I'm still doing far worse than plenty of so-called "ugly people". At least facial structure and other external features can be a good filter for finding the real people who like you for who you are instead of who you look like. For me, my unattractiveness runs so deep it will never be erased and it has never been able to help me find someone.

 

[eatantz]

Suicide is really the only option for me. Beauty kills me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I relate, I think that life truly is harder for unattractive people as well and I'm not only speaking relationship wise (as I don't really crave a relationship). Being attractive matters in all aspects of life including getting a job. Even getting a job would be easier to do if I was attractive which I sadly am not. Mind you, I don't really want a job and I hope that I ctb before I am forced to work but, if I do get forced to work, I'd rather have it be as easy as possible for me and being attractive would make things a bit easier. No matter what people say, pretty privilege is real and being ugly means that things get harder for you

 

[Dark Moon]

I think I understand what you're saying, I think life is just better all round if you're attractive, a number of women said I was good looking/handsome throughout my life but I don't know if I really am good looking, I don't feel like I am and if I was attractive things like my mental state, autism, depression had affected, hampered me and let me down. I also found out recently that attractive men still run into problems in the dating scene in this day and age and I don't think it's as simple as people think.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I was ugly before having 2 plastic surgeries. Now I just feel like an ugly person pretending to be attractive. Other people have told me that I'm an ugly person who spent money to be pretty, so it doesn't count. Not only do I have to look good, but I have to do it effortlessly and naturally. It just doesn't make sense.

What plastic surgeries do you have? I considered getting chin filler or thread lift before since these are the least invasive options and I am terrified of surgeries. In some places like SK plastic surgery is very normalized now due to the Kpop and idol industry, so anyone judging you for doing it is just ignorant of the insanely high beauty standards that pressure women and girls to have these procedures in the first place.

I am unnatractive by society's standards and have been judged my entire life for being an ugly girl, both by my family during my childhood, and friends as an adult. I tried many things to no avail (makeup even though I hate it), skincare routines, lash serums, lash lifts, eyebrow waxing, new clothes, different hairstyles, etc only to realize my facial structure is just ugly. I have a very round face, weak chin, and wide set eyes with stubby eyelashes that won't grow or curl.

My body type is also strange and disproportionate for the types of fashion I like to wear. I am about 115-120 lbs, 5'4 and thin but with large bust and hips, because I like to wear japanese fashion this means I need the XXL size. I was never more self conscious about my face and body than when I was staying in Asia for several months. Often times, the shops would not have a size to fit me simply because of my gross, disproportionate bust size. I want to be small and petite, not whatever this is.

A lot of my friends and acquaintances are Asian and think white people are ugly, asian cosplayer girls and kpop idols are the only demographic of women they find attractive. This has made me incredibly self conscious and made me feel uglier because of my body shape and facial features. Whenever I do cosplay, all my friends have people taking photos with them but no one ever wanted to take a photo with me for obvious reasons.

Being an ugly woman means no one respects me, and if I receive a compliment from anyone it's usually, "cute" the way you would call a cat or dog, and never beautiful, pretty or attractive. I don't fit the beauty standards where I was born nor anywhere else in the world, and I feel so ugly and like a failure of a woman because of it.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

What plastic surgeries do you have? I considered getting chin filler or thread lift before since these are the least invasive options and I am terrified of surgeries. In some places like SK plastic surgery is very normalized now due to the Kpop and idol industry, so anyone judging you for doing it is just ignorant of the insanely high beauty standards that pressure women and girls to have these procedures in the first place.

I am unnatractive by society's standards and have been judged my entire life for being an ugly girl, both by my family during my childhood, and friends as an adult. I tried many things to no avail (makeup even though I hate it), skincare routines, lash serums, lash lifts, eyebrow waxing, new clothes, different hairstyles, etc only to realize my facial structure is just ugly. I have a very round face, weak chin, and wide set eyes with stubby eyelashes that won't grow or curl.

My body type is also strange and disproportionate for the types of fashion I like to wear. I am about 115-120 lbs, 5'4 and thin but with large bust and hips, because I like to wear japanese fashion this means I need the XXL size. I was never more self conscious about my face and body than when I was staying in Asia for several months. Often times, the shops would not have a size to fit me simply because of my gross, disproportionate bust size. I want to be small and petite, not whatever this is.

A lot of my friends and acquaintances are Asian and think white people are ugly, asian cosplayer girls and kpop idols are the only demographic of women they find attractive. This has made me incredibly self conscious and made me feel uglier because of my body shape and facial features. Whenever I do cosplay, all my friends have people taking photos with them but no one ever wanted to take a photo with me for obvious reasons.

Being an ugly woman means no one respects me, and if I receive a compliment from anyone it's usually, "cute" the way you would call a cat or dog, and never beautiful, pretty or attractive. I don't fit the beauty standards where I was born nor anywhere else in the world, and I feel so ugly and like a failure of a woman because of it.

I had my nose done last month, and 2 years ago I had a surgery to fix my jaw (medically necessary but came with significant cosmetic benefits). In some ways I'm lucky that my flaws were completely fixable by surgery. I'm Chinese and I live in North America, where plastic surgery is really expensive but generally safe, and surgeons tend to go for natural-looking results. I also have lip fillers, and I get botox on my forehead. I have permanent makeup done as well (eyebrows, eyeliner, and lips).

Surgery is terrifying but being bullied and told that I should "go back to the drawing board" because of my looks is more terrifying. I would also not recommend doing surgery unless you're financially comfortable and have plenty of disposable income.

 

[j1nxxb0yjj4ke]

I think looks legitimately don't matter when anyone is 40 or older, and yet superficial dating apps still dominate how people find lifelong relationships. Unobtainable standards are everywhere. It's sad that we as a society often allow ourselves to judge people by their appearance and not by personality and actions.

idk why but this 'triggered' smh in me. now I would love to live a happy, long life with my current bf. til death do us part and reunite. idk why im even posting this, maybe just as a memory for myself.. praying we don't break up

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I am unnatractive by society's standards and have been judged my entire life for being an ugly girl, both by my family during my childhood, and friends as an adult. I tried many things to no avail (makeup even though I hate it), skincare routines, lash serums, lash lifts, eyebrow waxing, new clothes, different hairstyles, etc only to realize my facial structure is just ugly. I have a very round face, weak chin, and wide set eyes with stubby eyelashes that won't grow or curl.

My body type is also strange and disproportionate for the types of fashion I like to wear. I am about 115-120 lbs, 5'4 and thin but with large bust and hips, because I like to wear japanese fashion this means I need the XXL size. I was never more self conscious about my face and body than when I was staying in Asia for several months. Often times, the shops would not have a size to fit me simply because of my gross, disproportionate bust size. I want to be small and petite, not whatever this is.

So you are ugly because you have an hourglass figure, which is considered to be the most attractive body type a woman can have, and a soft round face? It sounds like you would generally be considered average to over average in looks...

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Eh, beauty fades with youth if youth is what people find beautiful. But even pretty people can be unattractive.

I think there's nothing worse than a pretty face with a plain and boring personality strung along to cover up w/e people are hiding in their guts.

It's a grouping of groups. There's an average between the tops and the bottoms. Even the people in the middle place themselves accordingly.

Beauty is such a funny thing to think about because it's illogical in my mind for me to worry about it when I never want to procreate in the first place.

They'll get uglier and I'll remain more similar to who I've always been. And the world continues to turn. Imagine that.

 

[surroundedbydemons]

Other people have told me that I'm an ugly person who spent money to be pretty, so it doesn't count. Not only do I have to look good, but I have to do it effortlessly and naturally. It just doesn't make sense.

That's how some people cope with losing their edge (natural beauty). Don't let them get to you.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

So you are ugly because you have an hourglass figure, which is considered to be the most attractive body type a woman can have, and a soft round face? It sounds like you would generally be considered average to over average in looks...

I have no chin, and far apart, lazy eyes, so I am not considered attractive to the majority even if I have a body shape that is desirable to some people. It is difficult to find clothing that fits you if you have these kinds of proportions making you look or feel fat. But I'm just going off what people irl tell me, which is that I'm ugly, or visibly autistic looking, or only 1% of people would find me attractive according to one of my closest friends.

In certain countries/cultures being more petite is desirable. In Asia I would be considered fat and was told as much when I was in several asian countries. Most of the people I interact with in my day to day life prefer smaller, petite women, rather than the hourglass form. I hate my body regardless, but I am most self conscious about my face. Especially cause I don't care about sex/don't really desire sex and moreso just want respect from people instead of being seen as the ugly visibly disabled girl.

I've been made fun of for how I look just about my entire life, and attracted the worst kinds of attention from men if they noticed my body type. Maybe my beauty standards are warped though, pretty much everyone I know's irl perspective on looks has been corrupted by social media. One time my housemate told me that if I tried to live in Asia no one would hire me for a job even in a cafe because I'm too ugly.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

That's how some people cope with losing their edge (natural beauty). Don't let them get to you.

I would still rather look good but be "man-made" rather than have my "god-given" looks that god probably gave me as a punishment. Before surgery I was a classic case of "butterface," and after my first surgery I got my first modelling contract. I used to want to CTB because of my looks, but now I have a pretty solid side hustle because of how I look. I've made back the money I spent on surgery, multiple times over.

I also have a feeling that people who openly judge me are salty that I'm financially doing well even though I'm young. In that case they can stay mad about it because I work hard and I've been consistently living well within my means as well as investing my savings, for years.

 

[crystal_meth97]

I am well aware of the current, unattainable beauty standards, yet I don't give a fuck. I've never been interested in a conventional relationship, so the beauty standards don't affect me. I find all this pressure, especially on women, ridiculous and amusing when I think about the concept, but I empathize with those struggling to fit into these absurd beauty standards. I like to go against the norm and do the opposite, it works for me and I feel no pressure, I also don't take this seriously because it's stupid and ultimately, everything is about capitalism and brands trying to make you feel bad about yourself and lower your self-esteem so you buy as much shit as possible, though it's an illusion, they're not going to help or make a huge difference, they're not going to make you more attractive, they just don't work, they just want to sell us shit we don't need. It feels liberating when you don't care about the beauty standards and go against the norm. It is difficult to think and act like this, yes, but it is freeing and worth it. Also, there are people, albeit just a few, who don't give a fuck if you're not "perfect" in today's society's eyes. I like to say that I don't play social games in the sense that I don't conform, I just don't have the patience or energy to invest in worthless shit and besides, these standards change all the time, look at the past! I find it sad that people let themselves be affected by this deeply and even get depressed and suicidal, I understand the pressure, it just doesn't apply to me. Try to detach a little from this if you can, good luck!

 

[pilotviolin]

im frustrated that instead of just not caring people lean into the culture of putting even more importance on looks and such, i thought years ago shit like the blackpill would make way for people to realise and move on but we realise and dont move on fuck this stupid repetitive world