Venting being ugly makes me want to ctb

[stellaburner]

i may have delusional beliefs regarding my appearance (body dysmorphia) but also i might just be insanely ugly and self aware. either way, i cannot go on like this. i cant keep living in constant self hatred, envy, and intrusive thoughts. looking in a mirror makes me want to slam my face into a wall. any time i see someone pretty i have to excuse myself to have a breakdown and/or self harm. this includes my own sister. i am so envious of her, it's so unfair she got to look normal and pretty and i look like a deformed asymmetrical goblin. anytime i go outside without a mask, i'm constantly worrying about people seeing how hideous i look. i cant even walk around my own neighborhood without falling into a spiral of intrusive thoughts. also, i am paranoid about everyone. you're asking for my snapchat? you want to find out what i look like then make fun of me with everyone else. you want me to take off my mask so i can eat? you must have cameras in your house to find out what i look like. i'm literally paranoid that everyone is out to get me and it all stems back to my shitty appearance. i cant get plastic surgery at the moment, or for the next couple years, so i'm really out of options. i don't want to live in pain anymore. i don't want to have to hide my face from my siblings, friends, and boyfriend. i just want to be pretty so i can live a more normal life. anyways i think i'm gonna ctb in a couple months. i just don't see a point living like this anymore

 

[miserabletires9]

I hate how I look myself too. I am also very envious of pretty women.
And I always chase guys that are out of my range looks wise. I guess that contributed to my wanting ctb.

 

[offbeat]

There's no amount of comfort to console such thoughts but you will find someone who would look at you beyond your looks. You don't need a 100 people to surround you. 4-5 geniune peeps would do. I'm sure you can find them. I've stopped judging peeps on looks and in sure there are others too.

 

[uniqueusername39]

i may have delusional beliefs regarding my appearance (body dysmorphia) but also i might just be insanely ugly and self aware. either way, i cannot go on like this. i cant keep living in constant self hatred, envy, and intrusive thoughts. looking in a mirror makes me want to slam my face into a wall. any time i see someone pretty i have to excuse myself to have a breakdown and/or self harm. this includes my own sister. i am so envious of her, it's so unfair she got to look normal and pretty and i look like a deformed asymmetrical goblin. anytime i go outside without a mask, i'm constantly worrying about people seeing how hideous i look. i cant even walk around my own neighborhood without falling into a spiral of intrusive thoughts. also, i am paranoid about everyone. you're asking for my snapchat? you want to find out what i look like then make fun of me with everyone else. you want me to take off my mask so i can eat? you must have cameras in your house to find out what i look like. i'm literally paranoid that everyone is out to get me and it all stems back to my shitty appearance. i cant get plastic surgery at the moment, or for the next couple years, so i'm really out of options. i don't want to live in pain anymore. i don't want to have to hide my face from my siblings, friends, and boyfriend. i just want to be pretty so i can live a more normal life. anyways i think i'm gonna ctb in a couple months. i just don't see a point living like this anymore

i relate so much with having to go outside with a mask to hide my ugliness.

if not at the moment, do you think plastic surgery can be possible in the future? if you save up for long enough it will become affordable to you. i am also saving up to get my hideous face repaired and is the main motivation for me to keep going to work. :(

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so awful what you have to endure, existing certainly can be torture but anyway I wish you the best.

 

[dump224477]

i may have delusional beliefs regarding my appearance (body dysmorphia) but also i might just be insanely ugly and self aware. either way, i cannot go on like this. i cant keep living in constant self hatred, envy, and intrusive thoughts. looking in a mirror makes me want to slam my face into a wall. any time i see someone pretty i have to excuse myself to have a breakdown and/or self harm. this includes my own sister. i am so envious of her, it's so unfair she got to look normal and pretty and i look like a deformed asymmetrical goblin. anytime i go outside without a mask, i'm constantly worrying about people seeing how hideous i look. i cant even walk around my own neighborhood without falling into a spiral of intrusive thoughts. also, i am paranoid about everyone. you're asking for my snapchat? you want to find out what i look like then make fun of me with everyone else. you want me to take off my mask so i can eat? you must have cameras in your house to find out what i look like. i'm literally paranoid that everyone is out to get me and it all stems back to my shitty appearance. i cant get plastic surgery at the moment, or for the next couple years, so i'm really out of options. i don't want to live in pain anymore. i don't want to have to hide my face from my siblings, friends, and boyfriend. i just want to be pretty so i can live a more normal life. anyways i think i'm gonna ctb in a couple months. i just don't see a point living like this anymore

same i don't believe any complement my boyfriend gives me

if you want you can dm me and ill rate you? idk some people on this site ask for that

 

[Wowser]

I'm ugly too. We have to accept it. This is how we were born. It's all genetics, out of our control.

 

[The Unpenetrated]

Ur not ugly, rather you look different than the ruling class who dictates what's ugly and what's not. Mesopotamians viewed obese women as beautiful. Cleopatra is probably quite ugly for 21st century standard. It shifts and changes alongside who has power. In today's world it's the rich therefore what's beautiful is whatever feature the rich has.