Venting Being stuck with toxic parents as an adult sucks and feels degrading in a way

[sohopelessandempty]

I just want to know I'm not alone. I feel so pathetic but there's nothing I can do at the moment. As a child I always dreamed of moving out at 18 and being free, but with the current state of the world and also some personal stuff going on, I can't afford it. I used to look forward to this so much but now it just feels hopeless. I'm 18 and still stuck here. I don't have any new freedom, and because I can't afford to move out, their roof their rules, it's like they don't even see me as a person, let alone an adult. It feels humiliating but I hate how teenagers are expected to do literally everything and know what they wanna do with their lives, why does society expect us to have the money to move out at such an early age? And why is staying with my parents during college considered leeching off of them? We never asked to be born, yet after being born against our will society expects us to pay for our own lives as soon as we turn 18, the life I never even asked for. I'm sick and tired of everything. I want to die. I want somebody to tell me this doesn't make me a pathetic bum. I'm unemployed, used to have a job and got fired(long story) and I can't get a new job at the moment since I have to do intensive outpatient soon so I won't have time, which is another long story. Everything hurts so much. I'm trying not to kill myself, suicide is already depressing but to die a loser without even getting to experience life once getting free from my parents is even more depressing. So I'm trying to tolerate life but it's so awful. These pills don't help much because no amount of pills or therapy could fix the root which is life itself, that is so terrible and nothing can trick me into liking something I truly despise.

 

[trashisland]

im 20 and I still live at home. youre not alone, I understand your situation. im unemployed too and im not even in school so im just a neet living with my family. the world sucks and unless youre really lucky, its unlikely youd be able to move out at 18 when adulthood has just started because everything is so expensive. so its not bum behaviour to be at home at your age, even if it feels like it. with a toxic family the only way to really deal with it is to just stick it out. its unlikely theyll change so unfortunately you just gotta deal with it, as much as it sucks to do that. I know that from experience

 

[sohopelessandempty]

im 20 and I still live at home. youre not alone, I understand your situation. im unemployed too and im not even in school so im just a neet living with my family. the world sucks and unless youre really lucky, its unlikely youd be able to move out at 18 when adulthood has just started because everything is so expensive. so its not bum behaviour to be at home at your age, even if it feels like it. with a toxic family the only way to really deal with it is to just stick it out. its unlikely theyll change so unfortunately you just gotta deal with it, as much as it sucks to do that. I know that from experience

Thank you, this means a lot to me. And yes you're right that it's unlikely to move out at this age since everything is so expensive, so why does society expect you to??? I don't understand. And if you try and complain about toxic parents people say to just move out but they don't get it. I still need a roof over my head.

 

[aufrechtm7]

I've been controlled and held down by my parents my entire life so I know what you're saying when it comes to freedom. I actually managed to cut them off some years ago when I moved in with my girlfriend at the time, and while my life wasn't "great", it felt like I was making serious progress for the first time ever. I ended up showing weakness by letting them slither back into my life about a year ago, and everything came crashing down for me as a result.

Your belief on one's expectations once they become an adult is typically reflective of American culture though and isn't the global standard. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings and I'm not totally knowledgable on your actual situation ofc, but even though I agree with what you're saying, I don't actually think it's too late for you.