greyblue_bian
2x Failed CTB Member
- Jun 10, 2022
- 184
So, life's been kind of walking in place for me right now and I can't seem to get over things I've done to myself in the past and things other people have done in the past. It's just repeating itself over and over and I can't seem to stop life from repeating itself when I do try to "get better". So, I've decided that I will kill myself in the near future (unless I die from something else), but I do want to do a few things before that. Like, write my book, get an apartment, etc. Nothing I haven't mentioned in other posted before. I think the main goal for my book has been for me to vicariously continue living with my inside out after I kill myself so people will actually be able to know me for who I am. I won't need to leave a note if I have this book published. But, I don't know. I'm starting to think it's not that great of an idea. I mean, it won't literally be about me, it'll be completely fictional stories but based off my own experiences (things I've done + things that have been done to me).
I don't know, I guess I'm just as sensitive as everyone thinks I am. But, I'm trying to save up to get an apartment in the next year or so, so fingers crossed I do enough to get that money. I plan on paying 6 months ahead. I'll also finally be taking my driver's test in the next few months, so fingers crossed even more intensely.
If you guys have jobs, do you know of any where a lazy, depressing 18-year-old with little work experience (I've only ever volunteered at a library for 5-6 months) can make up to $1,200 or more a month?
Right now, I'm dog-sitting (thanks for the suggestions from last time) and I'm going to try to keep it up but I don't know. I'll fucking see, I guess.
I hate having a toxic family. I hate being shitty.
I don't know, I guess I'm just as sensitive as everyone thinks I am. But, I'm trying to save up to get an apartment in the next year or so, so fingers crossed I do enough to get that money. I plan on paying 6 months ahead. I'll also finally be taking my driver's test in the next few months, so fingers crossed even more intensely.
If you guys have jobs, do you know of any where a lazy, depressing 18-year-old with little work experience (I've only ever volunteered at a library for 5-6 months) can make up to $1,200 or more a month?
Right now, I'm dog-sitting (thanks for the suggestions from last time) and I'm going to try to keep it up but I don't know. I'll fucking see, I guess.
I hate having a toxic family. I hate being shitty.
