Venting Being saved

[Ta555]

I came across this article in my ongoing research https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/my-son-left-brain-damaged-17448133

Essentially a young man tried to hang himself in a public place, was found and taken down and was kept alive even though he was basically completely paralysed except for being able to blink voluntarily.
I'm not a parent so I really don't know what was going through the mother's mind but it horrifies me that there are people who think that living like this (the man also had bpd which was his original reason) is better that not living at all. I actually feel sick. That people think oh life is such a precious gift that we must keep this person alive at all costs despite the fact that they are fucking paralysed and cannot do anything or even communicate!! He was asked later on, while paralysed, if he still wanted to die and he said yes (by blinking). It is horrific to be made to live like this because of someone else's views and your own wishes completely ignored.
The young man passed away two years after his attempt from an infection, which he had many of because people with spinal cord and nervous system injuries tend to get a lot of those.
My heart breaks for this young man. For the mental illness he had to deal with, for feeling like he had no choice but to ctb and for being kept alive against his will essentially in a terrible state. Sometimes I just feel fucking done with people.
Ok, rant over.

 

[Julgran]

The concept of "life at all costs" is based on biological indoctrination, if you ask me. I can't blame the parents, though, since they, themselves, are only biological creatures. It's just a fact of life that we will do everyting that we can to keep others alive - no matter the cost.

It's the oppsite of the "crabs in a bucket mentality" - meaning that we will dio everything and anything that we can to keep other people alive, just because it satiates our own feelings of doing good to others.

 

[Crazy4u]

the pictures are horrible. I agree with everything you said. I am glad he finally found relief from all the pain

 

[Hirokami]

See, this is why being caught is one of the reasons that I hesitate on ctb. Being forced to exist in a vegetative state is a fate worse than death imo. Yes, I understand no one wants to see their loved ones disappear but is this really a better alternative? To see your loved one unable to do any of the things they once could? To no longer be able to have a conversation with them as they blankly stare into the abyss? The man they once loved was no longer there. Rather, he became a husk of his former self. So, in a sense, they've already lost him and were unwilling to come to terms with that until two years later.

 

[Ta555]

See, this is why being caught is one of the reasons that I hesitate on ctb. Being forced to exist in a vegetative state is a fate worse than death imo. Yes, I understand no one wants to see their loved ones disappear but is this really a better alternative? To see your loved one unable to do any of the things they once could? To no longer be able to have a conversation with them as they blankly stare into the abyss? The man they once loved was no longer there. Rather, be became a husk of his former self. So, in a sense, they've already lost him and were unwilling to come to terms with that until two years later.

This!! Like surely you would feel horrible seeing your child/spouse/sibling/parent like this!! Ok I would understand if the man actually changed his mind and was thankful be was saved and wanted to live as some paralysed people do but he actually said he still didn't want to live!!

 

[Thequietone]

I came across this article in my ongoing research https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/my-son-left-brain-damaged-17448133

Essentially a young man tried to hang himself in a public place, was found and taken down and was kept alive even though he was basically completely paralysed except for being able to blink voluntarily.
I'm not a parent so I really don't know what was going through the mother's mind but it horrifies me that there are people who think that living like this (the man also had bpd which was his original reason) is better that not living at all. I actually feel sick. That people think oh life is such a precious gift that we must keep this person alive at all costs despite the fact that they are fucking paralysed and cannot do anything or even communicate!! He was asked later on, while paralysed, if he still wanted to die and he said yes (by blinking). It is horrific to be made to live like this because of someone else's views and your own wishes completely ignored.
The young man passed away two years after his attempt from an infection, which he had many of because people with spinal cord and nervous system injuries tend to get a lot of those.
My heart breaks for this young man. For the mental illness he had to deal with, for feeling like he had no choice but to ctb and for being kept alive against his will essentially in a terrible state. Sometimes I just feel fucking done with people.
Ok, rant over.

That is why I signed in into EXIT.

When I OD and survive with disability or so, the doctors see my will and EXIT will make sure I die. They also have lawyers.

 

[Ta555]

That is why I signed in into EXIT.

When I OD and survive with disability or so, the doctors see my will and EXIT will make sure I die. They also have lawyers.

Lucky. I'm not old enough to join.

 

[DasDasDAS]

I think it's the ultimate state of selfishness to torture a "loved one" for years by keeping them in a terrible condition against their will just so you can have them as a toy or a plant that you can look at sometimes... I understand someone being against the choice of people to end their lives when It is believed that they can recover and be happy someday. I don't understand the reasoning behind torturing somebody for years just to keep some functions of their bodies working because of how you would feel if they finished dying and still claiming you love them.

 

[Ta555]

I think it's the ultimate state of selfishness to torture a "loved one" for years by keeping them in a terrible condition against their will just so you can have them as a toy or a plant that you can look at sometimes... I understand someone being against the choice of people to end their lives when It is believed that they can recover and be happy someday. I don't understand the reasoning behind torturing somebody for years just to keep some functions of their bodies working because of how you would feel if they finished dying and still claiming you love them.

This. You put it into words better than me. It's extremely cruel. Especially if they still want to die. It's basically saying to them 'Shush, no you don't. You don't know what you're talking about. Of course you don't want to die. I know because I don't want you to die.'

 

[FuneralCry]

Stopping a suicide attempt is just prolonging the persons suffering. We all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing, it is our life and our decision and that should be respected. Those people are very selfish, they only care about themselves rather than what is best for the person. At least he is at peace now.

 

[Thequietone]

Lucky. I'm not old enough to join.

Sorry to hear that. They should allow it with 16 at least.

 

[Smart No More]

I think it's the ultimate state of selfishness to torture a "loved one" for years by keeping them in a terrible condition against their will just so you can have them as a toy or a plant that you can look at sometimes... I understand someone being against the choice of people to end their lives when It is believed that they can recover and be happy someday. I don't understand the reasoning behind torturing somebody for years just to keep some functions of their bodies working because of how you would feel if they finished dying and still claiming you love them.

I think it's instinct unfortunately but I do wonder how long it takes for the parent to realise that their decision may have been wrong, if at all. Because at that point what can they do aside from murder to correct their mistake. There aren't any studies/follow ups on things like this so most data on these things isn't representative of the actual situation imho. It doesn't always tell the full story. Imagine being a parent acting on instinct.... naturally you try to save your child in the hopes and expectations that they will come through unharmed in the long term. It's only afterwards that the results (brain damage etc) are known and at that point the decision was already made and you can't really say to the doctors "well actually, can you take ir back/finish them off please".

So yeah, I do instinctively think the same as you.... It's highly selfish to impose a life of suffering for your own satisfaction but when I think it through like that I see a more complicated picture. I'm not sure what the solution is other than euthanasia or murder in the facd of no other option but obviously that comes with even more complications. It's scary stuff because that could be one of us and I am terrified of that much more than death/the unknown. But maybe that's because thw unknown can be assumed as nothingness, endless sleep etc. We actually can't say we know for certain and whilst I always believed we die and that's that it's entirely possible that there is something more. There is so much we don't know and the vastness of the universe and our inability to comprehend infinity plays on my mind and reminds me just how much I don't know. Similarly quantum entanglement has a nigling ability to make me consider other potential possibilities.

 

[Ta555]

I think it's instinct unfortunately but I do wonder how long it takes for the parent to realise that their decision may have been wrong, if at all. Because at that point what can they do aside from murder to correct their mistake. There aren't any studies/follow ups on things like this so most data on these things isn't representative of the actual situation imho. It doesn't always tell the full story. Imagine being a parent acting on instinct.... naturally you try to save your child in the hopes and expectations that they will come through unharmed in the long term. It's only afterwards that the results (brain damage etc) are known and at that point the decision was already made and you can't really say to the doctors "well actually, can you take ir back/finish them off please".

So yeah, I do instinctively think the same as you.... It's highly selfish to impose a life of suffering for your own satisfaction but when I think it through like that I see a more complicated picture. I'm not sure what the solution is other than euthanasia or murder in the facd of no other option but obviously that comes with even more complications. It's scary stuff because that could be one of us and I am terrified of that much more than death/the unknown. But maybe that's because thw unknown can be assumed as nothingness, endless sleep etc. We actually can't say we know for certain and whilst I always believed we die and that's that it's entirely possible that there is something more. There is so much we don't know and the vastness of the universe and our inability to comprehend infinity plays on my mind and reminds me just how much I don't know. Similarly quantum entanglement has a nigling ability to make me consider other potential possibilities.

Thanks for your thoughtful and eloquent reply. It's true we always want to hope for the best so we would get doctors to do everything possible to keep the loved one alive but in this case I think it was obvious he was in a dire situation since it took him months to even learn to blink voluntarily so he would've been on life support for a while. I'm sure she would've been told the prognosis is not good at all but she chose to keep him on unlike other families who would've withdrawn life support after a few days. As I said, I'm not a parent so I can't judge the mother but still, I think she knew he'd never have a good quality of life. I think that was pretty obvious.

 

[Smart No More]

Thanks for your thoughtful and eloquent reply. It's true we always want to hope for the best so we would get doctors to do everything possible to keep the loved one alive but in this case I think it was obvious he was in a dire situation since it took him months to even learn to blink voluntarily so he would've been on life support for a while. I'm sure she would've been told the prognosis is not good at all but she chose to keep him on unlike other families who would've withdrawn life support after a few days. As I said, I'm not a parent so I can't judge the mother but still, I think she knew he'd never have a good quality of life. I think that was pretty obvious.

I think you're probably right tbf. I definitely think/agree it's the wrong choice if/when the choice is presented. As you rightly said, it would be very selfish. Some people don't know how to love. Not truly. It reminds me of that Jack white/white stripes song lyric.. "You don't know what Love is, you just do as you' re told". Some people love very selfishly and are selfish in their motivations to love.

 

[gottago222]

this makes me fkn sick

 

[Seiba]

I remember seeing it years ago and commenting here a while ago. It's good at least he was able to pass away eventually.

 

[Nightmare Painting]

One of my ex-friends cousin also tried to hang themselves and ended up paralyzed from the neck down. His mom also keeps him alive against his will and who knows how long he'll be like that.

My grandfather also had two strokes and can't move or barely utters a word but my family still wants him alive. It's profoundly selfish and cruel to keep people alive against their will.

 

[Ta555]

One of my ex-friends cousin also tried to hang themselves and ended up paralyzed from the neck down. His mom also keeps him alive against his will and who knows how long he'll be like that.

My grandfather also had two strokes and can't move or barely utters a word but my family still wants him alive. It's profoundly selfish and cruel to keep people alive against their will.

I'm sorry for these two people the one who hanged themselves...I assume they were discovered early?