Venting Being pushed to the edge.

[meowtistic]

my girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me. we have grown together and I can't handle this whatsoever, she says she loves me but wishes to move on, at this point I wish she would say she hated me. I want overdose on medication as we speak as it's the most accessible without much preparation honestly, but I don't want to fail. I'm thinking about night night method but I want to peacefully pass, and I'm worried I will freak out in the process of doing it. I don't know what to do, I know I won't feel guilty towards anyone if I die, which is a relief at this point, but I fear the consequence if I survive again. I just wish N was accessible everywhere for anyone, I want to be around those I love while falling asleep, is that so much to ask for? im tired of being burdened with these emotions and thoughts, I loved her so much, I still do, I will until my last breath, and even then Im sure we'll meet in the next life all over again, I never believed in soulmates until I met her, we've gotten over so many things together, it feels like a waste that it's all ending. I miss feeling her love, she kept me going. my beautiful girl, her lovely dirt brown eyes and perfect smile. no matter what happens I'll miss her, she's the most gorgeous woman I've laid eyes on, she is the light of my life, and it's a shame everything has come to this point. I hope she doesn't forget me and all the memories we made together, I wish I could've held her hand or kissed her forehead, my love.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really painful what you have to go through, it's true that in this world anything that is seen as being positive exists only to be taken away and lead to more suffering. I also wish I had some N, I hate how difficult it is to die in this world, from what I'm aware overdosing generally isn't recommended if one wishes to succeed in ctb. But anyway I wish you the best, failing ctb also sounds so horrible to me as well and is what I fear.

 

[starlover]

I'm sorry you're going through this, friend. I wish too that we could ctb peacefully in front of our loved ones. I imagine it would be like, a bon voyage party. Cake and food and drink and celebration, and you're just having a blast and sharing stories and reliving memories.

And then when it's time to go there are happy-teared goodbyes and "see you soons" and then you go on your journey.

That would be so nice.

Until then, this place doesn't seem too bad though. I hope you find some level of peace here.

 

[SoftWorries]

It might sound counterintuitive but I don't think it's a good idea to attempt to ctb when in an emotional or panicked state. This is how people end up with failed attempts and injuries most often.

Instead maybe you should read Love in the Time of Cholera. That's a really nice book to read when love ends.