LoneFeather
Anarchy
- Sep 27, 2023
- 9
I've lost all connections with my friends and now I have no one the urge to ctb crosses my mind everyday, but I'm to pussy to do it because I have no access to guns and I'm to afraid to use hanging as my method ever since I got back from rehab my friends have seemed to just forget about me. I feel like it's my family's fault because they forced me into rehab I never wanted to stop and I was kinda hoping to get laced but in the meantime I was feeling great on drugs I was actually starting to look up to life and I had lots of friends that were not just there to get high but also there to support me no matter what. But it seems those friendships have died off idk what to do and this is the only place I can find people who I relate to all my counselors and addictions group say I wasn't really happy that I had a mask of this fake reality. That is complete bullshit why was I so happy then even when I was sober I started to look up to life I had a job I loved I still work there but I'm not as happy to go to it anymore because I barley talk to anyone there too. Life just has becoming depressing and I'm just lonely now I'm on a legal program so I need to stay sober until It's over but I don't know if I can even reach out to my dealers because it's been so long I heard one of them went into rehab themselves and they don't sell anymore so I can't reach out to them my family makes sure that I can't reach out to anyone and they really are just starting to piss me off. Anyway that's my rant. tldr I basically have lost all connections with friends because of my family sending me to rehab and now I just think about Suicide and sh all the time.