LadyAlastor
Fading In And out losing time with the two I love.
- Jan 13, 2020
- 151
Goals are a big thing in relationship and I'm learning now that they are just as important with as suicide pact, Wanting to die in a place of comfort it's not new to me but it is understandable it's one of the reasons why I'm living where I'm currently living originally this small room was to be my tomb, then my partners came into my life and well it looks like we gotta find bigger place to die comfortably.
However deep down I feel so selfish because i'd rather do it sooner or rather than later I have to remember that it's not all about me I guess that is the hardest part is remembering that it's not all about yourself especially when you're in this pact.
It feels good to be working again but at the same time that overwhelming looming dread is always behind me following because I know I'm gonna get sick of I'm really good at my job but I get sick of it so quickly but I know I have to keep it regardless of how sick of the job I get.
I admit it I do feel it sad that I'm not necessarily happy with any jobs that I do get because they don't give me any fulfillment they don't make me happy.
But again it's not all about me regardless of this fact I am happy that 1 of my partners finally got a job that she actually can do and that she actually enjoys doing,
And as for my other partner he is washing dishes I'm glad he's happy withor at least Content with it. What's that song making money our goals will be sooner met.
At that point it'll just be the wait time the fact that we have to wait I don't want to wait I guess that's the capricorn in me we hate waiting but to get what we properly want we have to wait.
Regardless of that I tell myself it could be so much worse, that's why I'm glad again that this place Exists, I'm able to talk with people who share a similar goal and there are people who enjoy talking to me and I enjoy talking to them so I have this place going for me it is the one positive when it comes down to the world of the internet is this 1 place I am more grateful for it now than I have ever been because it's really been keeping me together.
It's beautiful knowing that there is a place that you can be mentally all over the place or mentally Fallin the part and you can come here and you're just accepted with open arms. There's no confusion we know what you're here for and that's okay take your time you'll be ready when you'll be ready, And it's funny because every time I think about that I just want to cry but not in a bad way, What can I say I f****** love this place.
I think when these 7 years have passed and I'm gone I think this will be the only place I will ever miss, And I think that's okay this is the only place I've met true honest people.
It honestly is a very rare thing to come by these daysAnd just thinking about that literally brings tears to my eyes as I type this.
Anyways thanks for taking the time to read I think I'm gonna get some rest before my shift starts, love y'all.
I'll post again soon
However deep down I feel so selfish because i'd rather do it sooner or rather than later I have to remember that it's not all about me I guess that is the hardest part is remembering that it's not all about yourself especially when you're in this pact.
It feels good to be working again but at the same time that overwhelming looming dread is always behind me following because I know I'm gonna get sick of I'm really good at my job but I get sick of it so quickly but I know I have to keep it regardless of how sick of the job I get.
I admit it I do feel it sad that I'm not necessarily happy with any jobs that I do get because they don't give me any fulfillment they don't make me happy.
But again it's not all about me regardless of this fact I am happy that 1 of my partners finally got a job that she actually can do and that she actually enjoys doing,
And as for my other partner he is washing dishes I'm glad he's happy withor at least Content with it. What's that song making money our goals will be sooner met.
At that point it'll just be the wait time the fact that we have to wait I don't want to wait I guess that's the capricorn in me we hate waiting but to get what we properly want we have to wait.
Regardless of that I tell myself it could be so much worse, that's why I'm glad again that this place Exists, I'm able to talk with people who share a similar goal and there are people who enjoy talking to me and I enjoy talking to them so I have this place going for me it is the one positive when it comes down to the world of the internet is this 1 place I am more grateful for it now than I have ever been because it's really been keeping me together.
It's beautiful knowing that there is a place that you can be mentally all over the place or mentally Fallin the part and you can come here and you're just accepted with open arms. There's no confusion we know what you're here for and that's okay take your time you'll be ready when you'll be ready, And it's funny because every time I think about that I just want to cry but not in a bad way, What can I say I f****** love this place.
I think when these 7 years have passed and I'm gone I think this will be the only place I will ever miss, And I think that's okay this is the only place I've met true honest people.
It honestly is a very rare thing to come by these daysAnd just thinking about that literally brings tears to my eyes as I type this.
Anyways thanks for taking the time to read I think I'm gonna get some rest before my shift starts, love y'all.
I'll post again soon
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