Being autistic, life feels hopeless

[SuicideByBelt]

7x higher risk of suicide, bullied at higher rates, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed, high rates of depression, high rates of social isolation, 9% get married compared to 50% of the general population.

Seriously what's the fucking point?

 

[Kiwi]

Bipolar 2 has nice suicide stats too.....

There is no fucking point.

Some of us ... like myself.... are just defective.

 

[Rachel74]

Bipolar 2 has nice suicide stats too.....

There is no fucking point.

Some of us ... like myself.... are just defective.

Tell me about it

 

[Enabran255]

7x higher risk of suicide, bullied at higher rates, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed, high rates of depression, high rates of social isolation, 9% get married compared to 50% of the general population.

Seriously what's the fucking point?

I'm not autistic, but have some asperger traits. Even that has been more than enough to get me bullied throughout my life as well as deemed unfit for the modern workplace environment. Our society is brutally cruel to anyone with even a hint of these traits.

There used to at least be ways that aspies/autists could make a living, but those positions have all been eliminated in the modern workplace. You have to be a hyper social animal and plaster a fake smile on your face every minute of the day when you're at work or else you get called someone with an "attitude problem" and that you're "not a team player."

My field (computer science) used to be the perfect career for those of us who aren't good with the backstabbing battle royale style office politics culture. We could just be left alone and work on what we were good at. Then about 15 years ago or so, it suddenly became "hip" and "trendy" to be a programmer, and people like us were purged thanks to the advent of the "Open Office" layout along with new expectations to be ultra extroverted.

Society's attitude is that anyone on the spectrum should just go die, yet at the same they don't allow us a peaceful and effective way to do so.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

Whoa

7x higher risk of suicide, bullied at higher rates, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed, high rates of depression, high rates of social isolation, 9% get married compared to 50% of the general population.

Seriously what's the fucking point?

Whoa, I feel you so much

 

[Emerald]

7x higher risk of suicide, bullied at higher rates, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed, high rates of depression, high rates of social isolation, 9% get married compared to 50% of the general population.

Seriously what's the fucking point?

I have asperger's so add me to the list of statistics. Bullied, unemployed, high rate of depression, socially isolated, never married!

 

[clownangel]

7x higher risk of suicide, bullied at higher rates, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed, high rates of depression, high rates of social isolation, 9% get married compared to 50% of the general population.

Seriously what's the fucking point?

Goddamnit I wish I knew what the point was too. I'm usually glaringly positive about my diagnosis in the "autism is a superpower" type of way when I talk to other people (because yknow, it's been drilled into me outwardly saying "my brains wired sideways and life is a joke" isn't really encouraged -crying over loud noises and being bullied forever doesn't sound like a superpower to me...) but it's so fucking draining.

I mull over these statistics constantly tbh.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

Goddamnit I wish I knew what the point was too. I'm usually glaringly positive about my diagnosis in the "autism is a superpower" type of way when I talk to other people (because yknow, it's been drilled into me outwardly saying "my brains wired sideways and life is a joke" isn't really encouraged -crying over loud noises and being bullied forever doesn't sound like a superpower to me...) but it's so fucking draining.

I mull over these statistics constantly tbh.

 

[Rational Suicide]

OCD just entered the chat! We have it rough too, I don't know how our stats are going to look though cause people care even less and take us less seriously than Autists.

I might be undiagnosed with autism while clearly having OCD. Going through the gauntlet of getting diagnosed as an adult is a hellish labyrinth.

 

[Luchs]

7x higher risk of suicide, bullied at higher rates, 85% of autistic adults are unemployed, high rates of depression, high rates of social isolation, 9% get married compared to 50% of the general population.

Seriously what's the fucking point?

Sometimes the genetic lottery just fucks you over for no reason at all.

 

[I'm un a mess]

Sometimes the genetic lottery just fucks you over for no reason at all.

That's why we need transhumanism

 

[mplslonely]

I wish was easier to get help too. I basically got ran out of my previous job because I was atypical and now I fear ever getting treated that way again. Still have nightmares on how I was bullied there. Found a girl on the spectrum otherwise I'd still be a lonely virgin like I was at when I was 34.

 

[Enabran255]

I wish was easier to get help too. I basically got ran out of my previous job because I was atypical and now I fear ever getting treated that way again. Still have nightmares on how I was bullied there. Found a girl on the spectrum otherwise I'd still be a lonely virgin like I was at when I was 34.

Several years ago I found a girl online who had similar traits and interests to me, we were very close. I could really be myself around her and not get judged for the most part. I wasn't as fortunate as you though. I never got to date her because of my continued failure to get a reliable income. She killed herself with SN a couple months ago.

 

[Lethe]

I have aspergers (supposedly, though that diagnosis seems pretty subjective, imo) and I'm also trans. Idk the Asperger stats but trans people have something like a 40% suicide attempt rate. Small wonder that I ended up here, I think. I lucked out in some regards though-- I get to live with my wealthy grandparents and get steak and lobster whenever I want, any videogames I want, etc. so it isn't all bad.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I have autism and ocd but I was always very high functioning. Alcohol abuse helped. No one ever knew. It was like constantly being an actor on stage, especially at work.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I'm not autistic, but have some asperger traits. Even that has been more than enough to get me bullied throughout my life as well as deemed unfit for the modern workplace environment. Our society is brutally cruel to anyone with even a hint of these traits.

There used to at least be ways that aspies/autists could make a living, but those positions have all been eliminated in the modern workplace. You have to be a hyper social animal and plaster a fake smile on your face every minute of the day when you're at work or else you get called someone with an "attitude problem" and that you're "not a team player."

My field (computer science) used to be the perfect career for those of us who aren't good with the backstabbing battle royale style office politics culture. We could just be left alone and work on what we were good at. Then about 15 years ago or so, it suddenly became "hip" and "trendy" to be a programmer, and people like us were purged thanks to the advent of the "Open Office" layout along with new expectations to be ultra extroverted.

Society's attitude is that anyone on the spectrum should just go die, yet at the same they don't allow us a peaceful and effective way to do so.

Holy shit is that the new IT industry expectation?!? Im in school studying computer sciences and the main reason why is because of that reason of being left alone or being with similiar minded people! No way this is the entire industry man, am I in school just to fail miserably because i cant be a team player or some HS tribalistic bullshit

 

[Lethe]

I went into the sciences for that exact reason, and the profs keep telling us again and again that the employers complain to them because "you're not teaching your students how to communicate". Ugh. Hoping I can go into research, that seems to be a mostly solitary affair.

 

[Enabran255]

Holy shit is that the new IT industry expectation?!? Im in school studying computer sciences and the main reason why is because of that reason of being left alone or being with similiar minded people! No way this is the entire industry man, am I in school just to fail miserably because i cant be a team player or some HS tribalistic bullshit

That was my experience during the brief times I was employed. I've done a lot of research on the industry over the years as I've futilely tried to get work, and the common thread I've seen is that it's very important that you're a "people person." When reading accounts of others who struggle and ask for advice, one of the first things people do is question their social skills and ask if they ever "sperged out," etc.

At one of programming jobs I got fired at, I remember one of their reasons for firing me was basically because I wasn't extroverted enough ("you don't seem happy to be here"). When you don't laugh at the insipid jokes in meetings and don't have a smile plastered on your face every second you're at work then it's suddenly assumed that you "don't like it here," etc, and that can be used as ammunition to fire you.

Is it the entire industry? From what I've seen, it's widespread, yes. One of the big lies is the "talent shortage" in STEM and that businesses need more CS grads. In reality, the market has been flooded for a long time, at least the past fifteen years. If you posess savant type aptitude with programming and have a degree from a target school like MIT or Caltech, then you'll have a much easier time making it. Unfortunately, I wasn't privileged enough to afford the tuition at those places.

The only other way is to try and be independent, for example I've created and maintained a software project over the years that's supported by donations, but it's nowhere near enough to pay living expenses.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

That was my experience during the brief times I was employed. I've done a lot of research on the industry over the years as I've futilely tried to get work, and the common thread I've seen is that it's very important that you're a "people person." When reading accounts of others who struggle and ask for advice, one of the first things people do is question their social skills and ask if they ever "sperged out," etc.

At one of programming jobs I got fired at, I remember one of their reasons for firing me was basically because I wasn't extroverted enough ("you don't seem happy to be here"). When you don't laugh at the insipid jokes in meetings and don't have a smile plastered on your face every second you're at work then it's suddenly assumed that you "don't like it here," etc, and that can be used as ammunition to fire you.

Is it the entire industry? From what I've seen, it's widespread, yes. One of the big lies is the "talent shortage" in STEM and that businesses need more CS grads. In reality, the market has been flooded for a long time, at least the past fifteen years. If you posess savant type aptitude with programming and have a degree from a target school like MIT or Caltech, then you'll have a much easier time making it. Unfortunately, I wasn't privileged enough to afford the tuition at those places.

The only other way is to try and be independent, for example I've created and maintained a software project over the years that's supported by donations, but it's nowhere near enough to pay living expenses.

Well god dammit! Thanks for explaining the situation to me dude, I cant believe im so f'd because Im in community college basically. I shouldve risked it all and went to full sail instead FUCK! I wanted to act and make movies but now I am totally screwed in trying to go mainstream man! Well I thjnk im going to go private and work independently instead, maybe I can work at half the pay rates those fcktrd normals are making so I can invest into other expenditures like art or crafting goods or some shit. Also be sure to feel good about this man but chances are those people person group fcktrdd are going to get out competed by trained third world workers of whom will probably adopt the same strategy as me! Good times are to be expected!

 

[Enabran255]

Well god dammit! Thanks for explaining the situation to me dude, I cant believe im so f'd because Im in community college basically. I shouldve risked it all and went to full sail instead FUCK! I wanted to act and make movies but now I am totally screwed in trying to go mainstream man! Well I thjnk im going to go private and work independently instead, maybe I can work at half the pay rates those fcktrd normals are making so I can invest into other expenditures like art or crafting goods or some shit. Also be sure to feel good about this man but chances are those people person group fcktrdd are going to get out competed by trained third world workers of whom will probably adopt the same strategy as me! Good times are to be expected!

Yea, my college was bottom 25th percentile in US News college rankings, definitely didn't do me any favors on my CV. Because the market is so oversaturated with CS majors, you need every advantage you can get nowadays. I really wish someone had told me how things really were back when I was trying to decide on a major. Actually, back when I was going to college at all, I'd really rather have not gone, it's a scam these days that's designed to put you in a crippling amount of debt so you'll be thirsty for any job once you graduate, no matter how bad the pay.

If CS is truly your passion, I hope you can figure out something that works independently. Even there though, it's so hard to make it. All the desirable markets are saturated (like game dev for example). When you're indie, you also have to be really good with selling yourself and marketing/social media. I suck with all that, which has definitely hindered me.

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

Yea, my college was bottom 25th percentile in US News college rankings, definitely didn't do me any favors on my CV. Because the market is so oversaturated with CS majors, you need every advantage you can get nowadays. I really wish someone had told me how things really were back when I was trying to decide on a major. Actually, back when I was going to college at all, I'd really rather have not gone, it's a scam these days that's designed to put you in a crippling amount of debt so you'll be thirsty for any job once you graduate, no matter how bad the pay.

If CS is truly your passion, I hope you can figure out something that works independently. Even there though, it's so hard to make it. All the desirable markets are saturated (like game dev for example). When you're indie, you also have to be really good with selling yourself and marketing/social media. I suck with all that, which has definitely hindered me.

Sorry to hear that man. Thank you so much for telling me though, I'll do everything I can to make it becauee of you and thank you so much for that alone. I hope things get better on yoyr side man.

 

[Misanthrope]

You mostly grow up lied to. Like life is a 1950's waffle advert and if you put in enough effort you too can have white picket fence and a fulfilling life. Social mobility statistics are equally horrible as the above. The very centres of education rarely teach you to actually think. Just how to pass through hoops that involve rote memory and demand you become a cog in a machine. Anyone remember being advised on how to lie through a job interview and not admit it is not all about money to buy the experiences and things you need and want? That you really are doing a job because you 'love' being a team player! HAHA Even if that means chiseling bits of you off that you value, all to fit in that soulless machine and not have a rough ride being the outsider cog? There is a demand for cogs in a machine. More so happy cogs that are grateful to be cogs that police other malformed cogs. In or out of work.

Like a misshapen banana anything that does not fit the mould goes in the bin. That manifests as being ostracised for existing in a less than cog shape or becoming the scapegoat in some form. Made all the worse if you are not good at playing pretend blowing smoke up someone's ass for a promotion or love. Dealing with people politics that want you to pick a side when both sides may well be just as idiotic. Doesn't matter if you are the most talented person on the planet. If you can't sell yourself like a product you are pretty screwed and will watch confidence win over ability. Don't know how to small talk, then you will always be the uncomfortable other in whatever environment you find yourself in. Others get targeted because you are a concept not a person.

The cliquism of school I don't think goes away. Seems many people with Autism most definitely feel that quite keenly and often see through these ridiculous societal lies. It is fascinating how hard you have to pretend and the shared delusion we seem to have to sign up to. I don't have any solutions because society continues to priorities stupid things that mean we have the same value as a disposable spoon. All feeding into the atrocity of the above statistics and others. No wonder it feels pointless.

 

[listen before i go]

If I were diagnosed sooner, my life would be a lot better.