Discussion Being alone/ not having partner/family

[barny]

does anyone want to CTB because they are alone and have no family?

Yea i have no friends or family but i also always wanted to have a partner/kids and my boyfriend died and then im just getting older and atill alone and too messed up for a relationship. I wondered if i did have someone if things would be different. I dont know and suppose it dont make a difference what ifs.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

does anyone want to CTB because they are alone and have no family?

Yea i have no friends or family but i also always wanted to have a partner/kids and my boyfriend died and then im just getting older and atill alone and too messed up for a relationship. I wondered if i did have someone if things would be different. I dont know and suppose it dont make a difference what ifs.

I have literally no friends and have not had a relationship since my ex-wife divorced me in 2011. I have a daughter with her and she is using her against me. I see her one day a month for 2 hours. That's it. It goes completely against the court order. Has been for 6 years. Not going to go into details because that would be one long ass post. But I have been struggling to even get my ex to speak with me. She won't. Only her husband(whom she married 3 months after we divorced. She cheated on me so many times, and the last pregnancy she had me doing the stuff like doc appointments etc.) But the kid I came to find out wasn't mine. That is when she divorced me. I'm so stressed by this situation because nobody is on my side. This is the reason I have decided to ctb. Just have not decided when. I have my method chosen.

Best wishes

 

[dandan]

I don't think so, I could've married long time ago but I felt my depression will kick in one day and I would make my girlfriend unhappy, kind of predicted or designed my future back then.
I've come across good girls I could make partnership or even a family, but I feel in not yet ready or that I won't their nightmare with my frustration , sadness, and sometimes thoughts about ctb.

I don't want to die, it just seems like an easy fix.
At the moment I can say I'm down but I don't want to ctb, if I wanted I have N in the fridge I could zip it and be long gone.
I still want to learn to play the game of life, I'm making an attempt ok?
It hard to accept life as is.... I could've been a millionaire , lost my chance ....
Trying to learn to live life, current status

 

[TimeToDie]

Yes, a total lack of family and a grand total of one friend would be the biggest reason I have. Lots of other addition reasons too.

 

[Severen]

I have literally no friends and have not had a relationship since my ex-wife divorced me in 2011. I have a daughter with her and she is using her against me. I see her one day a month for 2 hours. That's it. It goes completely against the court order. Has been for 6 years. Not going to go into details because that would be one long ass post. But I have been struggling to even get my ex to speak with me. She won't. Only her husband(whom she married 3 months after we divorced. She cheated on me so many times, and the last pregnancy she had me doing the stuff like doc appointments etc.) But the kid I came to find out wasn't mine. That is when she divorced me. I'm so stressed by this situation because nobody is on my side. This is the reason I have decided to ctb. Just have not decided when. I have my method chosen.

Best wishes

What a nasty fucking harpy.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

I don't think so, I could've married long time ago but I felt my depression will kick in one day and I would make my girlfriend unhappy, kind of predicted or designed my future back then.
I've come across good girls I could make partnership or even a family, but I feel in not yet ready or that I won't their nightmare with my frustration , sadness, and sometimes thoughts about ctb.

I don't want to die, it just seems like an easy fix.
At the moment I can say I'm down but I don't want to ctb, if I wanted I have N in the fridge I could zip it and be long gone.
I still want to learn to play the game of life, I'm making an attempt ok?
It hard to accept life as is.... I could've been a millionaire , lost my chance ....
Trying to learn to live life, current status

Damn. Now THAT'S your mind really effing with you. I sure hope things get better for you. As for not being in a relationship, that's a difficult one. While you view that you not being in a relatuonship is your way of preventing someone from being affected by your mental state, that does NOT mean you should deny yourself the good parts of a relationship. If you are totally honest at the start about your situation and they stay then that's a keeper. And you will definitely find someone eventually. I've been single for 8 years. But I'm a forever kind of person when it comes to relationships. And my marriage to my high school sweetheart of 10 years did not end well at all. I thought we were meant to be. Our first kiss was on main street USA in Disneyland at night under all the lights when our school band went to a music competition called music in the parks back in high school. Got to go backstage in toon town and got to play in the rooms they use to record music for their various media, mainly movies. And yeah, losing a relationship like that was horrible. She didn't even clean the knife before sticking it in my back. But I am determined to find someone who accepts me as me. There is someone out there that will stand by you through it all. It's just a matter of finding them. It will happen. Just takes time, maybe years. But sooner or later it will happen.

Best wishes

What a nasty fucking harpy.

I swear she rides a broom to work.

 

[Empty Smile]

I've cut off 95% of friends(not that I have many, but what few I do have), and slowly cutting ties with family. Haven't been in a relationship since the girlfriend was killed 5 years ago.

I'm cutting ties with everything so that they get used to not seeing or hearing from me. That way it makes my leaving that much easier.

My time is getting closer. Just one more hurdle to jump, and from there, it'll be time.

I swear she rides a broom to work.

Sounds a lot like my ex-wife.

 

[dandan]

Damn. Now THAT'S your mind really effing with you. I sure hope things get better for you. As for not being in a relationship, that's a difficult one. While you view that you not being in a relatuonship is your way of preventing someone from being affected by your mental state, that does NOT mean you should deny yourself the good parts of a relationship. If you are totally honest at the start about your situation and they stay then that's a keeper. And you will definitely find someone eventually. I've been single for 8 years. But I'm a forever kind of person when it comes to relationships. And my marriage to my high school sweetheart of 10 years did not end well at all. I thought we were meant to be. Our first kiss was on main street USA in Disneyland at night under all the lights when our school band went to a music competition called music in the parks back in high school. Got to go backstage in toon town and got to play in the rooms they use to record music for their various media, mainly movies. And yeah, losing a relationship like that was horrible. She didn't even clean the knife before sticking it in my back. But I am determined to find someone who accepts me as me. There is someone out there that will stand by you through it all. It's just a matter of finding them. It will happen. Just takes time, maybe years. But sooner or later it will happen.

Best wishes

I swear she rides a broom to work.

Yes a relationship can be have a positive impact , but you are basing* life on having a partner, in my case is more about not liking me , not liking myself :/

 

[vulturecyclop]

I want to CTB while im still sort of young, since I know my fate is to be a cat lady. Im an only child, have moved to several different countries due to my dad's job, therefore I have no extended family and i slowly stopped talking to most of my friends...i only see loneliness in my future and I dont want to experience any of it. I will probably decide to go in a few years, after my beloved long distance partner decides to leave me one day. Its all up to him now. I refuse to CTB while we're together 'cause it will hurt him deeply.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

Yeah, loneliness kills.

 

[Final Escape]

Yes this is a reason for me. I haven't succeeded at anything that makes life worthwhile for most people. I'm just sort of existing here wasting space getting older and more useless.

 

[blanketyblk]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

 

[Ruffian]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

Just wow. I never heard of anyone coming home from work and just sitting in their car for 40 minutes. I stop in parking lots and just sit sometimes and watch stupid YouTube videos or read stuff on my phone. And I would sit in my own parking lot longer, but there's a lot of coming and going from the business across the street, plus my neighbors can see me. I'm just so depressed when I leave a job I've hated all day to come home to an apartment I hate. Anyway, I know this thread is about having a partner, and I do have one. He's my only outlet, that's why I get on here so he doesn't have to hear my shit all day. It's a double-edged sword. He's very comforting, but I feel so bad like I'm bringing him down. We don't even see each other that much because we work different shifts. I was pretty happy when we met, but you know how things are at the beginning of a relationship? That fades and now I feel guilty because he says he loves me no matter what and will never leave. And I believe it, but I wish I could be better to him. Although I did warn him at the beginning that I have some very serious mental health issues that could crop up. I've just never had a depressive episode this long before and it makes me feel guilty for bringing him down. We're older, so kids aren't an issue, but when I was younger I was always on birth control or could whip out something to make sure I didn't get pregnant. Psych meds stopped my cycle early, which was helpful. I was adamant about never having kids. I can't take care of myself, why add another person to the equation? Maybe it would have helped me stay sane, but my sister has them and she's a basket case too. And yeah, most of my friends cut me out of their life, and the few that stayed I just stopped talking to. Being social and going out is too much pressure. I feel the end is getting nearer unless something changes drastically.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

Yes a relationship can be have a positive impact , but you are basing* life on having a partner, in my case is more about not liking me , not liking myself :/

Just was an example. I apologize for the misunderstanding.

 

[dandan]

Just was an example. I apologize for the misunderstanding.

oh cool cool dont worry, are you a female, under 36, want to be my partner? LOL

 

[JoeFailure]

I feel like loneliness can change if you put yourself out there. If you have other parts of your life together, especially.

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

Sorry to hear, I thought I had read that things were getting more positive for you as you started to go out a couple of times a week and stuff.

 

[dandan]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

im sorry to hear that , and my roomie just left, so am alone now... it sucks, life is chores, not hating it yet...

 

[sadgirl2002]

Pretty much. I was always distant from my family except my parents. I have no friends now and I have been more acquainted with family because of the situation I am in but it's not enough. I just want love, a family and kids with my true love.

 

[dandan]

that be great, only if I had much better self image and esteem . im a pretty guy, but looks aint it

 

[blanketyblk]

Sorry to hear, I thought I had read that things were getting more positive for you as you started to go out a couple of times a week and stuff.

I have good days, bad days. Like everyone i guess. woke up this morning and just couldn't get to work. so yeah. i'm annoyed again. going to force me self into a shopping center today and sit and have a coffee and just try and clear my mind. this fog that keeps coming and going is starting to piss me off :-)

 

[Invisible 73]

I have literally no friends and have not had a relationship since my ex-wife divorced me in 2011. I have a daughter with her and she is using her against me. I see her one day a month for 2 hours. That's it. It goes completely against the court order. Has been for 6 years. Not going to go into details because that would be one long ass post. But I have been struggling to even get my ex to speak with me. She won't. Only her husband(whom she married 3 months after we divorced. She cheated on me so many times, and the last pregnancy she had me doing the stuff like doc appointments etc.) But the kid I came to find out wasn't mine. That is when she divorced me. I'm so stressed by this situation because nobody is on my side. This is the reason I have decided to ctb. Just have not decided when. I have my method chosen.

Best wishes

That is called parental alienation. I am an alieanted mom. And this is the root of my suicidal wishes again. First time was when my ex won custody of our daughter after 10 years of in/out of court. His&his wife's constant harassment and abuse of me and our child.

And now that she's just turned 18 and I reached out to her and I see just how much they've brainwashed her against me w.their twisted rewriting of history. What she said to me makes me again not want to live if I cant have my baby girl back.

You still have a chance tho. Things have changed so much since I went thru it. So many more resources and changes in the system. Go on fb and look up alienation. You'll find lots of help.

 

[Xaphous]

Socially isolated since I'm 16, never ending bullying before that. Could have dated many but never dated ever, never talked to the opposite sex before even. Almost 30 but I look about 18. Never had a job, No friends, no social contacts.......

I'm too psychologically affected to try. I have nothing to say to anyone even if I had the chance.
Denied a chance in life on every level so these are the reasons I am forced by society to kill myself.

 

[dandan]

Socially isolated since I'm 16, never ending bullying before that. Could have dated many but never dated ever, never talked to the opposite sex before even. Almost 30 but I look about 18. Never had a job, No friends, no social contacts.......

I'm too psychologically affected to try. I have nothing to say to anyone even if I had the chance.
Denied a chance in life on every level so these are the reasons I am forced by society to kill myself.

so you still isolated? no work? no goals? hmmmm you have no activity during the day? almost 30, gosh, I wish I can return to 30 , well no... thats a stupid wish, i rather not

 

[Xaphous]

so you still isolated? no work? no goals? hmmmm you have no activity during the day? almost 30, gosh, I wish I can return to 30 , well no... thats a stupid wish, i rather not

I don't have one conversation a month, and no I can't find any job. I just give up again.

 

[Bluedew]

I know the feeling very well !

 

[dandan]

I don't have one conversation a month, and no I can't find any job. I just give up again.

I cant believe that, im talking an old friend right now.
A full month would be a lot of time.
I havent hang up in half an hour but because my friend talks a lot.

 

[yppah71]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

That's really well put.

 

[lululoo]

I have family but they are dysfunctional and I can't be around them too much. I have two friends in my city but they mostly ignore me. I'm alone. I have always been alone. To feel not alone, I'd need a partner, and I've never had that for more than a few months. I can't live life alone. I needed to be loved to make up for love I didn't get as a kid. It never happened. It's all horrible and I need out. If I believed in god I would pray for courage.

 

[Help_Me]

Yea, that's the reason for me, but not the primary one. To be honest, I have gf, but we constantly quarrel for 7 years already, I see no future in that. I tried searching for other people and of course nobody else is interested in me. But yea, like I said, this is bit my primary reason like it was few years ago. Now I understand my whole life is cursed, bit just my relations with people

 

[dandan]

yes, yes and yes.

doing life alone with no one is hard, very hard. coming home from work after a full day to an empty house is also the most depressing thing. when i got home from work yesterday. i just sat in my car for about 40 minutes. trying to work out what i still bothered coming home..

so yes. having no one just takes all the joy out of life. all simple pleasures you get with having someone else in your life just become chores.

Why having no one? Is it hard for you to meet someone?
Im kind of special and I don't hang out with whomever, but you are a woman, sure you can have some friends? Can't you? Go to a Meetup , or other type of place where people meet?