Venting being a woman kinda sucks

[eyeswithoutaface]

I don't want to be a man, I LOVE being a woman, but oh my lord the restrictions placed on us that men dont have, Ex: walking late at night. I did that recently cuz its one of my biggest stress relievers to just think and walk without anyone around, and I was very stressed yesterday. I've done it pretty often in a safe neighborhood with houses around, but last night gave me a big realization. I was about an hour into my walk, wanting to go around 30 minutes more, when a man came up to me and started walking with me. I didn't want to provoke him so I let him and started making small talk.

We walked for around 2 minutes and he wanted me to hold his hand, it was my first time experiencing anything like this and i had no idea what to do so I went with what would keep me safe, and complied with what he said. He said he was 40, I said I was 18. He started telling me he loved me, he wanted to marry me, and that I belonged to him. Wow. I said I was going to head home and he said he'd walk me home AUGHHHHh I definitely didn't want him to know where I lived so I planned to pretend to enter a different house. Before I left he asked me for a hug and I felt his hands grabbing up and down my waist, and I heard him whisper "Wow, Youre so sexy" and kissed me on my cheek. He kept calling me back whenever I turned to leave to get my phone number. I thought about giving a fake one but I was worried he would call it on his phone and realize it was fake, I gave it verbally so I hope he doesn't remember. He watched me as I was leaving but I don't think he saw where I lived as there were cars blocking his sight.

This sucked but the absolute worst thing is he said he would wait for me every night there at the same time to see me again, which means I have to give up one of my greatest pleasure because he wanted to have his 10 minutes of fun BTW I DID tell him I wasnt interested and he literally said he'd wait for me.

TLDR im a stupid chud w/ no experience with men and if anyone has any tips for dealing with men when theyre alone I'd appreciate it!!

 

[sanctionedusage]

careful posting this, they get very upset when you acknowledge there are differences between men and women

 

[Cyc]

That sounds so scary :( Usually when I'm alone and I'm dealing with men I say I have a boyfriend and pull up a picture of me with one of my male friends, or I just walk away and ignore them no matter how much they talk to me

 

[eyeswithoutaface]

That sounds so scary :( Usually when I'm alone and I'm dealing with men I say I have a boyfriend and pull up a picture of me with one of my male friends, or I just walk away and ignore them no matter how much they talk to me

wait thats a goated idea ty

 

[iamanavalanche]

being a woman definitely fcking sucks. i am so tired of this being such a common experience and i wish it wasnt such a norm for these men to act like total creeps. i usually pretend to get a phone call though sometimes men are STILL persistent after that. so also saying that you have a boyfriend might work ! also if you suspect that you might be in danger, it may be good to let a friend know your location or going to a public place :)

 

[Alpacachino]

Very disturbing tbh. He seems nice and kind but might also be the exact kind of man who will do a complete 180 when rejected. Not sure why people do this. Reddit is full of these instances, both men and women. Burnt cars, slashed tires,Someone even burnt another's house.

I like taking long walks at night in my neighborhood sometimes to get my steps up. Whenever I see a woman, I will actually speed up to them so that I can overtake them because I know they'll be afraid if I walk behind them too long

They get the fright of their life before I overtake them though

 

[eyeswithoutaface]

being a woman definitely fcking sucks. i am so tired of this being such a common experience and i wish it wasnt such a norm for these men to act like total creeps. i usually pretend to get a phone call though sometimes men are STILL persistent after that. so also saying that you have a boyfriend might work ! also if you suspect that you might be in danger, it may be good to let a friend know your location or going to a public place :)

Literally!! I wish women were able to take the same risks as men without being yelled at or blamed for making "stupid decisions"

Very disturbing tbh. He seems nice and kind but might also be the exact kind of man who will do a complete 180 when rejected. Not sure why people do this. Reddit is full of these instances, both men and women. Burnt cars, slashed tires,Someone even burnt another's house.

I like taking long walks at night in my neighborhood sometimes to get my steps up. Whenever I see a woman, I will actually speed up to them so that I can overtake them because I know they'll be afraid if I walk behind them too long

They get the fright of their life before I overtake them though

LOL imagining it is a little funny

 

[badatparties]

I'm a man and i agree with you. Men are animals

Women also suck ass. People suck ass. I hate people

 

[Alpacachino]

being a woman definitely fcking sucks. i am so tired of this being such a common experience and i wish it wasnt such a norm for these men to act like total creeps. i usually pretend to get a phone call though sometimes men are STILL persistent after that. so also saying that you have a boyfriend might work ! also if you suspect that you might be in danger, it may be good to let a friend know your location or going to a public place :)

There's an app available that lets you simulate an incoming phone call.It's not a real phone call, just a pop up of a phone call that will appear on your phone. So you can basically act like you're picking it up and say anything you want. So if you want you can make it appear like an emergency and getaway from someone without offending them

 

[clawsprit]

I don't want to be a man, I LOVE being a woman, but oh my lord the restrictions placed on us that men dont have, Ex: walking late at night. I did that recently cuz its one of my biggest stress relievers to just think and walk without anyone around, and I was very stressed yesterday. I've done it pretty often in a safe neighborhood with houses around, but last night gave me a big realization. I was about an hour into my walk, wanting to go around 30 minutes more, when a man came up to me and started walking with me. I didn't want to provoke him so I let him and started making small talk.

We walked for around 2 minutes and he wanted me to hold his hand, it was my first time experiencing anything like this and i had no idea what to do so I went with what would keep me safe, and complied with what he said. He said he was 40, I said I was 18. He started telling me he loved me, he wanted to marry me, and that I belonged to him. Wow. I said I was going to head home and he said he'd walk me home AUGHHHHh I definitely didn't want him to know where I lived so I planned to pretend to enter a different house. Before I left he asked me for a hug and I felt his hands grabbing up and down my waist, and I heard him whisper "Wow, Youre so sexy" and kissed me on my cheek. He kept calling me back whenever I turned to leave to get my phone number. I thought about giving a fake one but I was worried he would call it on his phone and realize it was fake, I gave it verbally so I hope he doesn't remember. He watched me as I was leaving but I don't think he saw where I lived as there were cars blocking his sight.

This sucked but the absolute worst thing is he said he would wait for me every night there at the same time to see me again, which means I have to give up one of my greatest pleasure because he wanted to have his 10 minutes of fun BTW I DID tell him I wasnt interested and he literally said he'd wait for me.

TLDR im a stupid chud w/ no experience with men and if anyone has any tips for dealing with men when theyre alone I'd appreciate it!!

holy fuck im glad that youre safe

 

[tonicer]

Sounds like grooming behavior. Please take care and avoid that creep if you somehow can. Best of luck and i hope you stay safe.

 

[Dot]

He seems nice and kind

Tht mn ws nt knd

Physclly & emotnlly sfe mn wll nt crss boundris lke tht - espclly 1st tme meetng

40 y/o mn tellng an 18 y/o womn tht sh/ b-longd 2 hm & h/ ws goin2 mrry hr

Pls nevr nevr mstke sch b-havr fr kndness

 

[amor.dor]

That man's attitude is despicable. I don't bother hiding what I feel — for men like that, I usually look at them with contempt. It usually works.

 

[Alpacachino]

Tht mn ws nt knd

Physclly & emotnlly sfe mn wll nt crss boundris lke tht - espclly 1st tme meetng

40 y/o mn tellng an 18 y/o womn tht sh/ b-longd 2 hm & h/ ws goin2 mrry hr

Pls nevr nevr mstke sch b-havr fr kndness

Yeah, that's why I said he 'seems' kind. He's trying to act like it but he's obviously faking it.

It's kind of absurd to say such things to anyone you're meeting for the first time.My guard is up immediately in these circumstances. I usually assume someone is trying to scam me or sell me something when they're being too friendly.

This is a stalker in the making though.I'd recommend some bear spray OP,to be safe.Maybe a .500 S&W Magnum as well,can't be too sure.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

Prime creep behaviour by using your ignorance around relationships. Also grabbing your waist and kissing without consent to get an sexual reaction, what the fuck. Sometimes I feel like if it's even worth dating for you guys becuase the pool is so low for people who would not use abuse/SA at every opportunity.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

But see, you wimminz can get laid so easily! Omg you guys have it the best, so much easier than being a man. Menstruation, PMS, PCOS, not being taken seriously, earning less, and being on the receiving end of stalking, harassment, violence, objectification and niceguy® behavior is a small price to pay for that. /s

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

i'm so sorry :( what a creep. i would always carry something with you for protection whether thats pepper spray or a gun. if a man won't leave me alone i literally start acting insane. cause a scene!! start screaming as loud as you can and it usually makes them back off. one time this man wouldn't leave me alone at night and i started screaming "i'll fucking stab you i don't give a fuck" over and over and it scared him off lol. if it doesn't make him back off, it'll at least notify others around you that you're in danger if you start screaming. threatening though is my last resort because you never know if they'll retaliate. don't be afraid to make a scene, seriously! it could save your life. sorry again that this happened. def carry some sort of protection if you're not already and make sure someone has your location if possible.

 

[Dreamwalker]

Just patriarchy tingz sorry for the bad experience, hope someone blows his shi smoove off

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

That guy is a groomer and a pedophile, but you might have already figured this out already.
Glad you're safe.

I have a tip for dealing with men when alone other than not be alone...
Work out for 1-2 years, calisthenics and weight lifting, try to do some self defense classes and start conceal carrying knife or a gun if you are from the states.

If this can't be done in a safe manner, I'd discourage going out alone but especially in the middle of winter.

Even with the 2 years of work out and 2 years of self defense classes and a knife, it's quite hard if there are more men waiting around the corner, you need a gun at that point.

And if you still want to walk at night regardless I say you should keep your walks alone as an activity to do in the late spring, all of summer and early autumn when the sun is up more.

 

[Dejected 55]

That's a man who definitely needs to be watched and reported. That scenario sounds very practiced on his part. No way that was the first time he approached someone alone like that. I do not want to add to the fear you already have about that situation, but from the way you describe it I think you are very lucky to be able to describe it without having suffered far worse. There's just nothing defensible about anything you described him saying or doing in that scenario. It's not even because it was him and you alone... him saying/doing any of that at all even if there were lots of other people around is like lighting a danger flare.

 

[Dot]

Yeah, that's why I said he 'seems' kind. He's trying to act like it but he's obviously faking it.

Np - obv thre r sme v knd-heartd ppl on ste wh/ wn2 C th/ bst in evry1 & jst wantd 2 mke sre tht ws nt happnng in ths cse as percptns lke tht cld pt thm in dangr

Bt yh slf agree wth u

 

[violetforever]

He seems nice and kind but might also be the exact kind of man who will do a complete 180 when rejected.

did we read the same thread? how the fuck does he seem nice? he approached a random young woman alone at night. that already puts the woman in a vulnerable position. he wouldn't leave her alone to the point she had to pretend she lived in another house to avoid him knowing her address and keep bothering her. he literally GRABBED and KISSED her without consent because she was uncomfortable. then he came onto her by saying something disgusting. she very clearly wasn't interested in him from the start but he still insists on waiting for her. HE WAS REJECTED AND HE CONTINUED. she said she was complying with him to keep safe and you have the fucking nerve to say he sounds kind. there's no use typing this out anyway. men will continue to treat us with creepy behavior like this and the majority of other men will downplay our experiences like you just have.

 

[Alpacachino]

how the fuck does he seem nice

I already responded to dot above regarding this.i said he 'seems' kind but it's just an act.

 

[violetforever]

I already responded to dot above regarding this.i said he 'seems' kind but it's just an act.

"might also be the exact kind of man who will do a complete 180 when rejected"

but he literally was rejected. do you acknowledge that? i really doubt this grown man lacked the social skills to read her body language and responses and not add up that she didn't want him near. if you acknowledge that then there would be no reason for you to have wrote this. he was rejected but persisted. just because he didn't do a "complete 180" and start angrily yelling at her or get physical when he knew she wasn't interested doesn't make his behavior any less wrong. his unwanted persistence is just as offensive. why does it have to escalate to violence or deranged behavior to be taken seriously? it's already serious as it happened. women don't see men like this as seemingly nice, it's just plain creepy. we see through it.

 

[Alpacachino]

"might also be the exact kind of man who will do a complete 180 when rejected"

but he literally was rejected. do you acknowledge that? i really doubt this grown man lacked the social skills to read her body language and responses and not add up that she didn't want him near. if you acknowledge that then there would be no reason for you to have wrote this. he was rejected but persisted. just because he didn't do a "complete 180" and start angrily yelling at her or get physical when he knew she wasn't interested doesn't make his behavior any less wrong. his unwanted persistence is just as offensive. why does it have to escalate to violence or deranged behavior to be taken seriously? it's already serious as it happened. women don't see men like this as seemingly nice, it's just plain creepy. we see through it.

She did reject him but she says she was afraid to make it overly known to him . I was agreeing with her since some men do a 180 from their nice guy act and turn hostile at the possibility of rejection. It's better in some cases to just play along and then get away when you can.

She says "it was my first time experiencing anything like this and i had no idea what to do so I went with what would keep me safe, and complied with what he said"

I agree it's creepy and the situation is dangerous. Pretty much anyone can see that.