Venting Been a loner my whole life

[The Disqualified]

I am all alone. Such superficial relationships I have. No one I can really trust. I always sat alone at school, while the other kids went to play together. Ever since my early days I was a loner. By myself.

My social anxiety ruined my life, it prevented me from having a normal life as a child and teenager. Even today it still hurts me and prevents me from functioning as a human being. I just wish I wasn't like this, so neurodivergent. I've always been kind and candid, without second intentions or the malice of human beings, but I've gained nothing except defeat and rejection. It really stings, but I kept moving anyway. Now I feel broken to the core, all the scars remain.

I have no social life, don't go to parties, and no love life whatsoever. I have no idea how to actually live a normal life or sync with human society. I have no idea what the point of everything is and why people act the way they do. I don't see myself living in the future. I just don't. There's no future for me.

There is no way out for me. Suicide is the only way out.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Same, but the few rare times i made the mistake of actually having irl friends and or trying to go for a relationship, it's all groomers or narcissist abusers. Kill me lol.

 

[v0wkeeper]

feel the same, though being lonely is a much better option than being surrounded by a group of people who pretend to care about you.

 

[favouriteworstnight]

i feel like i wrote this… there is no way i'm gonna get better, i remember feeling awkward since i was like 7 and it never got any better. even with therapy and medications, i think i wasn't built for this world