brokenwaves
i need to cross a border that’s hard to define
- Feb 19, 2021
- 118
living in my sister's house past few months, under the assumption that i would find my own place by this summer (june). well, it's quickly approaching and i can tell that my sister is losing her patience. the problem is there are no apartments for rent in my price range, and the few that do appear i don't get a response or they rent to somebody else. even if i did find a place, i don't even have the money for a deposit/first month's rent, never-mind the other expenses that come with moving.
my only option pretty soon is to call local authorities and be homeless. wtf is even the point anymore though, i just want to ctb instead. what future do i have? be homeless and live in a hostel for months and then maybe get a place? what about after that? i'm too mentally ill to work, and i'm so suicidal that i don't even care to try anymore. i don't even have the energy to contact somebody for help, i just want to give up. i'm so sick of fighting and fighting my whole life and getting nowhere. life just keeps kicking me back down and i'm really tired of dragging myself back up. i don't even have anywhere to ctb because hotels are not even open because of covid; maybe a cliff but that is risky and not my preferred method, but i'm desperate and so tired of everything
my only option pretty soon is to call local authorities and be homeless. wtf is even the point anymore though, i just want to ctb instead. what future do i have? be homeless and live in a hostel for months and then maybe get a place? what about after that? i'm too mentally ill to work, and i'm so suicidal that i don't even care to try anymore. i don't even have the energy to contact somebody for help, i just want to give up. i'm so sick of fighting and fighting my whole life and getting nowhere. life just keeps kicking me back down and i'm really tired of dragging myself back up. i don't even have anywhere to ctb because hotels are not even open because of covid; maybe a cliff but that is risky and not my preferred method, but i'm desperate and so tired of everything