all at 20. 5 concussions. dad broke nose. cant breathe / cant fall asleep without concerted effort and sometimes drugs. wake up exhausted from the apnea. sinusitis always. corollary of poor respiratory is further brain damage both from simply poor oxygenation but chronic sleep deprivation to compound. oh reminds me, was not fed properly as a child and shared a room with my sister 7 years senior interrupted sleep every night from ages 4-16 as i was transported from my parents bed to the floor of my sisters bed. growth stunted 5'6 predictred height was 5'11 based off parents height. and usually indian kids are much taller than their parents including nearly everyone i know because of western lifestyle. can't run or exercise or sit still because my nose is so screwed up there's no airflow. dad gave me a concussion. still blames me to this day, retorts angrily if i confront him threatens to hit me again. says i deserved it for gaming and accidentally breaking his $2 disposable earbuds. knees decrepit from years prior of my mother forcing me through an intense sport i had no future in BECAUSE of my knees. posture absolutely fucked/chronic pain throughout most of body (neck, legs). if i choose to live i look forward to a life of early dementia and arthritis. no money. got min wage job stopped going week later. easiest job on the planet couldn't handle it. motor coordination terrible couldn't handle cash well. memory is 0 could not even do basic stock list tasks. as a reflex banged my head against the wall a year ago after repeating something 6 times to my mother, after that i never walked straight again. constant feet pain. that instance isnt even counted as one of the 6 concussions, only counted serious head injuries like falling on the back of my head and blacking out ice skating, getting jumped by 4 kids randomly at 13 years old after theater practice, flying rollercoaster whiplash, punched in head by dad, backing into rock overhang, ones with definitive symptoms. know how to make money online but always fail when it comes to the last step; poor cognition > some avoidable mistake > lose all progress. dropped out of a top college (that i got into after 5 concussions with a shit gpa because of residual intelligence, yeah i was very very smart before i slammed headfirst into a concrete wall, skipped 3 grades in math in elementary school) because of the one my dad caused, after that i couldnt process anything at all. reading is a non-starter. have spent my small crypto fortune on supplements, nootropics to 0 effect.
have had ED for 3 years. in the half semester i was in college i met a beautiful girl who was into me immediately at a get together, wanted to get active. but i left early without saying anything to her because my fucking dick stopped working in senior year of high school and has never been the same. think i might have injured it bc one day i pissed pink and after it stopped working but my memory's horrible so who knows. i cant even take cialis.viagra because the vasodilation makes me so stuffed i can barely even breathe through my mouth. but when i did trial them, high dosages...lol did not solve the problem. venous leak. and regardless...im 20. i should be an animal. never even touched a woman unfortunately
ive lost over half my hair in the past year. i took a supplement lion's mane to increase BDNF similar to cerebrolysin to attempt to recover from the concussion my dad caused. didnt do much. caused vivdi dream for a few days then shut down libido and spurred this hair loss. might also have traditional male pattern baldness too that i further aggravated by taking DHT supplements to counteract my ED...you can see how fucked my situation is. more i try to fix my situation the more it gets fucked. and at 5'6...indian...yeah my hair is the only thing making me remotely viable
everyone has issues. but it seems i have everyone's issues
lost potential is heavy. from repeated injuries / stunted development / abuse / chronic issues emergent from the former 3
im ready. ive had metoclopramide for 2 years. i should have bought N then when D was active but i was miserly and didnt want to spend my btc when it was down in case things got better. lol. false hope is a poison. problem is every fucking day i switch because of it. if i had a sound ctb agent in front of me though it would be a lot easier. but im scared of salt. i dont want to fail and end up a vegetable cause god knows my parents wouldn't do the right thing. im old enough though maybe i can sign over my rights to a friend who would or something? i have 1 or 2 that still i wouldnt put 100% faith in. but i dont even want to have to think about this scenario. and it feels like the universe wants me dead anyway, unless it just wants me to suffer, in which case im building a fucking shotgun helmet to get the job done. hmm
ideal for me is fentanyl or nembutal. maybe nitrogen but knowing me ill fuck up the setup. my friend id been talking to for half a year on here ctb a few days ago. we were going to go to bolivia, i was dealing with a fiasco landlord was angry with me so i broke my lease etc. he went and got scammed twice and came back and ctb with salt. maybe it's time. if there're any medical professionals on here please take pity and ship me some propofol or thiopential joking not joking.
have had ED for 3 years. in the half semester i was in college i met a beautiful girl who was into me immediately at a get together, wanted to get active. but i left early without saying anything to her because my fucking dick stopped working in senior year of high school and has never been the same. think i might have injured it bc one day i pissed pink and after it stopped working but my memory's horrible so who knows. i cant even take cialis.viagra because the vasodilation makes me so stuffed i can barely even breathe through my mouth. but when i did trial them, high dosages...lol did not solve the problem. venous leak. and regardless...im 20. i should be an animal. never even touched a woman unfortunately
ive lost over half my hair in the past year. i took a supplement lion's mane to increase BDNF similar to cerebrolysin to attempt to recover from the concussion my dad caused. didnt do much. caused vivdi dream for a few days then shut down libido and spurred this hair loss. might also have traditional male pattern baldness too that i further aggravated by taking DHT supplements to counteract my ED...you can see how fucked my situation is. more i try to fix my situation the more it gets fucked. and at 5'6...indian...yeah my hair is the only thing making me remotely viable
everyone has issues. but it seems i have everyone's issues
lost potential is heavy. from repeated injuries / stunted development / abuse / chronic issues emergent from the former 3
im ready. ive had metoclopramide for 2 years. i should have bought N then when D was active but i was miserly and didnt want to spend my btc when it was down in case things got better. lol. false hope is a poison. problem is every fucking day i switch because of it. if i had a sound ctb agent in front of me though it would be a lot easier. but im scared of salt. i dont want to fail and end up a vegetable cause god knows my parents wouldn't do the right thing. im old enough though maybe i can sign over my rights to a friend who would or something? i have 1 or 2 that still i wouldnt put 100% faith in. but i dont even want to have to think about this scenario. and it feels like the universe wants me dead anyway, unless it just wants me to suffer, in which case im building a fucking shotgun helmet to get the job done. hmm
ideal for me is fentanyl or nembutal. maybe nitrogen but knowing me ill fuck up the setup. my friend id been talking to for half a year on here ctb a few days ago. we were going to go to bolivia, i was dealing with a fiasco landlord was angry with me so i broke my lease etc. he went and got scammed twice and came back and ctb with salt. maybe it's time. if there're any medical professionals on here please take pity and ship me some propofol or thiopential joking not joking.
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