Venting Bad day

[Idontmatter]

Today has been horrible. Woke up exhausted mentally and physically. I went to work but ended up leaving early today. I just couldn't concentrate. I don't know if I can make it to July. I can't do this anymore. Guilt, sadness, all these emotions hitting me. I keep looking at my sn thinking about how it's going to feel the day I finally drink the sn. I'm ready to go. I just want to stop being a burden on everyone and go. My husband is worried about me so now I'm just lying and saying I'll be fine. I've given up on medications and therapy because none of that works. I give up. Sorry- had to vent today.

 

[outrider567]

Today has been horrible. Woke up exhausted mentally and physically. I went to work but ended up leaving early today. I just couldn't concentrate. I don't know if I can make it to July. I can't do this anymore. Guilt, sadness, all these emotions hitting me. I keep looking at my sn thinking about how it's going to feel the day I finally drink the sn. I'm ready to go. I just want to stop being a burden on everyone and go. My husband is worried about me so now I'm just lying and saying I'll be fine. I've given up on medications and therapy because none of that works. I give up. Sorry- had to vent today.

yeah bad day here too--found some of her stuff again that I thought I threw away, stuff that she used for 25 years, started crying so much had to take a shower just to clean my face

 

[Idontmatter]

yeah bad day here too--found some of her stuff again that I thought I threw away, stuff that she used for 25 years, started crying so much had to take a shower just to clean my face

I'm so sorry. Trying to survive each day is getting harder and harder.

 

[outrider567]

I'm so sorry. Trying to survive each day is getting harder and harder.

It is--Some of the things I found were congrats plaques from her job for working at her job for 25,30,and 35 years---It was pretty brutal for me finding those because she worked so hard in her life and it reminded me how happy she was when she finally retired 8 years ago

 

[MementoMori81]

Sorry to hear you've had a crap day. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I'll say this much though, you're not a burden, that's your mind speaking, and convincing you of that. Common feeling to have when you feel the way most of us here feel.
I hope the feeling picks up for you, I hope it does for me, too and for everyone else here. That said, I don't think I'll last much longer myself, so I do know how you feel.
My heart and thoughts are with you right now, for what it's worth.

 

[Idontmatter]

Sorry to hear you've had a crap day. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I'll say this much though, you're not a burden, that's your mind speaking, and convincing you of that. Common feeling to have when you feel the way most of us here feel.
I hope the feeling picks up for you, I hope it does for me, too and for everyone else here. That said, I don't think I'll last much longer myself, so I do know how you feel.
My heart and thoughts are with you right now, for what it's worth.

I feel like I'm just in the way. My husband can find a guy that isn't a mental case after I die. I have an appointment Friday but not getting my hopes up. I'm expediting my plans.

 

[MementoMori81]

I feel like I'm just in the way. My husband can find a guy that isn't a mental case after I die. I have an appointment Friday but not getting my hopes up. I'm expediting my plans.

I think that's a common feeling mate, the way you're feeling right now. That's one of the reasons I get so angry when I hear people say that people who opt for self deliverance are "selfish". That's not the case, as you and I both know too well, we believe quite the opposite. Feels like we are doing our loved ones a favour. I broke up with my ex ahead of all this last year because I could already feel my head was going off the rails again. I miss her, don't get me wrong, but I can't go back, either, because I just don't think I'm going to make it.

I really hope your appointment brings you renewed hope on Friday, I really do. I'm sure exit wouldn't be your first choice, given options. I hope it doesn't come to that mate. I'll keep you in my thoughts, and I'm always about if you need a friendly ear okay.

 

[Idontmatter]

I think that's a common feeling mate, the way you're feeling right now. That's one of the reasons I get so angry when I hear people say that people who opt for self deliverance are "selfish". That's not the case, as you and I both know too well, we believe quite the opposite. Feels like we are doing our loved ones a favour. I broke up with my ex ahead of all this last year because I could already feel my head was going off the rails again. I miss her, don't get me wrong, but I can't go back, either, because I just don't think I'm going to make it.

I really hope your appointment brings you renewed hope on Friday, I really do. I'm sure exit wouldn't be your first choice, given options. I hope it doesn't come to that mate. I'll keep you in my thoughts, and I'm always about if you need a friendly ear okay.

Thank you. I'm not getting my hopes up for Friday. I've lost all hope sadly. I would love to live but I'm so tired of fighting.

 

[its-about-time]

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I'm so sorry. Life is really hard and unfair for some people. I hope that you find peace, regardless what happens.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in such an unbearable situation. I understand that it can be hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I am also tired. I hope that you find relief from your pain in whatever you decide to do, and I wish you the best.