Bad day

[Weather]

I pretend to have my shit really together, and truth be told, I'm pretty sure I fool most everyone. But I am about to lose it.

My spouse was just unexpectedly laid off from his job this morning; they decided to cut his department to save money (thanks pandemic; thanks Trump!). They might be able to put him in somewhere else, but we don't know yet. Several years ago, I quit my decent-paying job to teach. For those outside of higher ed, there are very few tenure track jobs and most of your professors (even those with doctoral degrees who teach beloved courses) get paid shockingly little. My husband carried health insurance for the family; I don't get any through my employment. So, no money and no health care.

Did I mention I have kids? Because I do. Several of them.

Yes, yes, I know. Contact the people I know, hustle, get a job back at a firm, make it work... but... I don't think I can. Even if people were hiring during a pandemic, I am so... hopeless. And I'm just not as sharp or funny or clever as I used to be.

I want to be done. Nothing ever works out. Nothing is every ok. It's one struggle after another. I know my problems are insignificant compared to many of yours (my mental health problems are just depression/anxiety/PTSD) and I feel stupid for feeling this bad... but I also feel stupid for thinking maybe I could just sit in the boat, very still, and manage to keep it from sinking.

Oh, and it's the election today. I can't.

 

[ilovenightmares]

"Day".
A better day will come, you've survived all the past ones.

 

[Ghost2211]

I understand. Some days are really hard. Do something nice for yourself, eat a yummy snack, go for a walk, cry it out... Each day that passes is one more day we succeeded. Looking at the big picture makes me feels stressed and hopeless, so I look at each little problem as an individual thing. It makes the pile seems smaller, and each one that gets completed feels like a success.

One day at a time, and one problem at a time. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

 

[Deleted member 23374]

I pretend to have my shit really together, and truth be told, I'm pretty sure I fool most everyone. But I am about to lose it.

My spouse was just unexpectedly laid off from his job this morning; they decided to cut his department to save money (thanks pandemic; thanks Trump!). They might be able to put him in somewhere else, but we don't know yet. Several years ago, I quit my decent-paying job to teach. For those outside of higher ed, there are very few tenure track jobs and most of your professors (even those with doctoral degrees who teach beloved courses) get paid shockingly little. My husband carried health insurance for the family; I don't get any through my employment. So, no money and no health care.

Did I mention I have kids? Because I do. Several of them.

Yes, yes, I know. Contact the people I know, hustle, get a job back at a firm, make it work... but... I don't think I can. Even if people were hiring during a pandemic, I am so... hopeless. And I'm just not as sharp or funny or clever as I used to be.

I want to be done. Nothing ever works out. Nothing is every ok. It's one struggle after another. I know my problems are insignificant compared to many of yours (my mental health problems are just depression/anxiety/PTSD) and I feel stupid for feeling this bad... but I also feel stupid for thinking maybe I could just sit in the boat, very still, and manage to keep it from sinking.

Oh, and it's the election today. I can't.

There's nothing insignificant or stupid here. This is a serious injury to the course of your life and existence as well as that of your family.
Just wanted to be clear on that and hope it helps.

 

[whywere]

I truly feel sorry for you and you family. I am in the same boat, was with a firm for almost 30 years and got laid off becasue of covid. No money, no health insurance, oh what fun..NOT! I never had a family, friends anything and with you having children, it REALLY makes me sad for you and I am in the US also, and oh ya I voted!I am not a organized religion person, BUT tonight I am going to say a prayer for you, your husband and your kids. I truly care for you and send my love and caring to you and your family. Walter