Venting back

[wristcutangel]

i haven't posted here in a while. college classes started so i haven't had much time to myself lately, but now i'm stuck at home for a month again because of personal stuff so i guess i'm back. i feel like i'm just setting my future on fire, i didn't put any actual thought, but it's not like i really want a future in the first place. i really don't consider this world worth living in, even if i get out of this shithole of a country there's no guarantee i'll ever be happy. i don't belong in the place i was born, i don't belong in the outer world, i doubt other immigrants from here would like me very much either considering most of them are still religious even after leaving this place. i don't have anywhere in this world to go, i'm just killing time until i die myself too. people are too unnecessarily cruel for this world to ever be a place worth living.

my life keeps deteriorating in every way. if i went into the details, this'd end up being a very, very long post. and i cant even do anything about it, all i can do is watch my life go from hell to an even worse hell. it feels like watching a car crash where you just can't help but look, or like being a deer frozen in headlights. maybe the first is more accurate. i feel like im watching something entirely unconcerned with me when it's my own life. i don't know. i really don't feel like i belong in this world, there's nobody and nowhere that accepts me. i really want to end this.

 

[Enlighten]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Do you want to talk about it in private chat? You can take your time there to explain to me and i'll be glad to listen. Even if it doesn't fix your problems, it can be relieving to get it off your chest.

 

[Lynx.]

i feel like i'm just setting my future on fire, i didn't put any actual thought, but it's not like i really want a future in the first place.

I get that feeling - I'm not even actively trying to build my life anymore, since there's no apparent point in it. For now I'm just aimlessly drifting until the day I drop dead, either by my own hand or by other circumstances.

For me, to accept that one has no future is kind of freeing, in a way, but it also fills me with dread, wondering when I'll finally be capable of taking the step forward and catch the bus...

people are too unnecessarily cruel for this world to ever be a place worth living.

The amount of unnecessary violence towards all living beings in this world, be it physical or psychological, makes me to despise this world as well. Many would call me sensible, but I really cannot stand the misery of it all.

and i cant even do anything about it, all i can do is watch my life go from hell to an even worse hell. it feels like watching a car crash where you just can't help but look, or like being a deer frozen in headlights. maybe the first is more accurate. i feel like im watching something entirely unconcerned with me when it's my own life. i don't know. i really don't feel like i belong in this world, there's nobody and nowhere that accepts me. i really want to end this.

I'm so sorry that nobody accepts you as you are - you deserve to be loved and accepted, and it's fucked up that others wouldn't show you that care because of silly reasons such as religious tribalism, if I recall correctly from other posts I've read from you in the past few months...

You don't deserve to suffer in this way. I'm so sorry.

Many hugs to you ♥

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering, this world truly is such a hellish place that I don't believe could ever be desirable to exist in. I agree that humans really are so unnecessarily cruel, I certainly believe that humans are the worst species. But anyway best wishes.