Venting back to square one

[willitpass]

i haven't posted in several months. i ordered SN from A back in may and was planning on taking it in late june but my friends informed my family of my plans bc i was stupid enough to tell them. i was hospitalized for a week back in july and after that i decided to give recovery another chance. but i'm falling again. i've been in therapy since i was a little girl. i've been depressed since i was 10. i've tried recovery so many times and i always seem to end up back here, waiting to catch the bus. i plan on ordering SN again soon. this time i will be more careful. i never want to make it to 2021. fuck this. i'm tired of getting hopeful about recovery only to end up here again

 

[WornOutLife]

Something similar happened to me. I failed and I'm waiting the right time to CTB except I can't right now because of some serious family issues.
I send you lots of hugs and hope you can find peace before 2021 as you wish.

 

[ecmnesia]

maybe you should go for another method. if your family is aware about SN they will probably find out, since they are most likely keeping a close eye on you.

I'm sorry tho.

 

[willitpass]

maybe you should go for another method. if your family is aware about SN they will probably find it out, seen they are most likely keeping a close eye on you.

I'm sorry tho.

i've already attempted via hanging and attempted drowning/hypothermia so those two are out. i live in a very urban area so Carbon monoxide poisoning is out and i have nowhere private to do it. i don't want to traumatize someone by doing it via train and pills are highly unsuccessful. this is the only method that think is viable for me

 

[Rn110bg101]

Good luck. If you have the option to, maybe start to pick up the mail from now on, so if you receive your package you can keep it discreetly.

 

[AJ95]

Good luck

Recovery isn't possible for everyone, I'm one of those too.