Back to Square One. Ready to CTB.

[failurefather]

Last year I thought I was pulling out of my depression. In the back half of the year I was finally able to get enough work to pay my bills and put away a little bit of savings for my daughters upcoming college. It took all my energy and focus. I worked nights and weekends. It was exhausting, but it felt good to make progress.

Today I learned that I miscalculated my withholdings and I owe all my savings to taxes. All those night, weekend, early morning hours were completely wasted and for nothing. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

I just told my wife about it, and you can tell she is tired of me constantly fucking up. My family deserves better. I'm so tired. This is the week I finally make it happen. I don't even care about pain anymore, that used to freak me out. I'm just going to go out to a spot I picked near the police station in the early morning hours and hang myself. There's a nice tree I've already picked out that is secluded from view as to not freak anybody out. I will feel so relieved when it's done, that I won't mind the pain and panic I feel in that moment. It will be easy for me to push through it.

I'm sorry to anyone who read through this. I'm feeling alone in this right now and just wanted someone to know what my plan is. For my family who reads this after it's done, I'm really sorry about what I've put you through for many, many years. The next few months are going to be hard - but rest assured the world is a little bit better now that I'm gone. And each day the world will be slightly better and better now that I'm not here - and so will you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that things are so hopeless, I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. I understand that it can be hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[onleana]

this breaks my heart. i really really wish i could hug you right now. im sooooo sorry you are suffering so much, life is awful. i don't even know what to say... my heart is aching for you. you fought hard. i hope you can find peace and freedom from all suffering - you deserve it. whatever you decide i wish you the best. sending you loooots of hugs and love friend ❤❤❤

 

[Crazy4u]

please don't apologize. You did your best! I wish noone had to ctb. it is so sad

 

[someonelse]

I'm so sorry to hear you're in such pain. Your post really broke my heart. I think it's because I relate to being in situations where I feel like I'm doing my best and maybe finally getting somewhere and then the rug is pulled out from underneath me. It's a terrible feeling.

I think a lot of us on this forum (myself included) are struggling financially. The world is just set up that way it seems. I hope you find peace.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I'm so sorry to hear you're in such pain. Your post really broke my heart. I think it's because I relate to being in situations where I feel like I'm doing my best and maybe finally getting somewhere and then the rug is pulled out from underneath me. It's a terrible feeling.

I think a lot of us on this forum (myself included) are struggling financially. The world is just set up that way it seems. I hope you find peace.

It's set up that way for sure. Limited oil is a bitch

Just ask Iraqis !

 

[Blacklight]

Your post seems full of genuine emotion. I wish you find the peace you seek.

 

[Foresight]

I'm so sorry. That's so unfair given how hard you worked last year. Did you have a tax accountant help with the return? I'm curious as a tax professional if all your options have been presented.

 

[unijow]

Just be sure that you have covered all your options about the taxes like the person above said. That stated, I hope you find the peace you're seeking.

 

[failurefather]

Did you have a tax accountant help with the return? I'm curious as a tax professional if all your options have been presented.

No, I just plugged everything into TurboTax. I was pretty shocked, I've always worked as a freelancer and I'm pretty good about setting aside enough for taxes. This year I ended up owing double what I normally do. I don't even care any more. all signs point to the world not needing or wanting people like me.

 

[someonelse]

No, I just plugged everything into TurboTax. I was pretty shocked, I've always worked as a freelancer and I'm pretty good about setting aside enough for taxes. This year I ended up owing double what I normally do. I don't even care any more. all signs point to the world not needing or wanting people like me.

What state are you in? I'm a freelancer too and I have a really amazing tax person here in CA that's gotten me out of a lot of potential financial trouble. On the off chance you're in CA too I'm happy to share their info.

If this tax problem didn't arrive, would your desire to ctb still be as strong as it is right now?

 

[Of The Universe]

No, I just plugged everything into TurboTax. I was pretty shocked, I've always worked as a freelancer and I'm pretty good about setting aside enough for taxes. This year I ended up owing double what I normally do. I don't even care any more. all signs point to the world not needing or wanting people like me.

This is bullshit. You worked long and hard to take care of your family. You are a very good man! Better than A lot of em. So the c---suckers raised the rates or something,fuck it,you'd have had to pay the tax one way or another.
Get a tax guy and try to help mitigate your taxes. Maybe u can delay them. But don't hate yourself. You got problems like we all do. There was only one perfect man,and I don't think you know much about carpentry...

 

[Foresight]

No, I just plugged everything into TurboTax. I was pretty shocked, I've always worked as a freelancer and I'm pretty good about setting aside enough for taxes. This year I ended up owing double what I normally do. I don't even care any more. all signs point to the world not needing or wanting people like me.

Well my inbox is open if you want to discuss the return and I can see if I can assist. I don't need any private information, I just happen to do taxes and hate to see uncle sam take a good man out.

A CPA could probably get you a good outcome but I know they aren't free. For a self employed freelancer you might find one who will do it for under $200.