Story back to my previous failure

[tomoki]

last year
first failure of a parteille suspension: due to a bad fixing of the traction bar to which the rope was attached then no longer had the courage to continue
and second failure following the use of sodium nitrite: main cause no real anti-emetic medication taken (use of quetiapine prescribed by my psychiatrist and although this medication has an action on the dopamine function and is not sufficient) and above all presence of a close helper (roommate) during the attempt, impulsive CTB attempt that came to nothing
I've got a shotgun, but although it's probably the least painful way to die... after watching many videos of suicide by firearm, it's a bit traumatic for me.
I'm a piece of shit who can't even commit suicide properly and I'm really afraid of suffering brain and kidney damage.

but this time I'm going to do the right thing: either suspend myself.
or a new attempt at sn with metoclopramide which I managed to get prescribed along with 750 mg oxazepam and 7.5 mg alprazolam as well as quetiapine (about 3g).
Do you think this is sufficient for an attempt with sn
or even without sn with only the drugs???

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you failed twice already. I think following one of the proven SN protocols is the best and using meto is a good choice. I think oxazepam and alprazolam are enough to sedate you in order not to feel too much from how the SN is working. I'd not take too much different additional meds bc they might also cause vomiting and vomiting is still possible although u use an AE. Not too vomit or at least to vomit as late as possible is essential using SN.

I wish you all the best with your plan and hope you find peace,