BaconCheeseburger
Comfort-eating
- Aug 4, 2018
- 693
Hi all, I think it's been either a month or a few weeks since I last came on here. I felt like I was getting better mentally, leaving the job that was bothering me and coming up to the Christmas break where I had ten times less pressure.
I think the 'darkness' is coming back. I'm in my new job and all is fine (so far), still got my good friends and family etc etc, but I'm starting to doubt my strength to get anywhere in life again.
A few weeks ago my local newspaper published an article about my friend who CTB (the day before I signed up to SS in August, weirdly enough), but it mentioned details that hadn't been shared with me like how she did it, where, what she was doing before it happened etc and it really upset me. You could call it a trigger, I guess.
I just feel like I'm not eager/motivated enough to push through with life, work hard, move up the ladder and get somewhere. I feel frustrated and somewhat embarrassed by myself most days. I don't have social anxiety but I'm feeling drained in social situations and like I'm not showing my 'best self' (whatever that is). I'm also 25 and still live with my parents. This new job could help me be able to afford my own place, but need to see how things pan out.
That and herpes is giving me grief (not to go into TMI but I've spent today in pain and it puts a downer on everything). I'm not feeling 100% defeated, but I'm definitely not able to enjoy more than a day at a time.
Don't really know what I'm writing this for. I hope I still see some familiar names on here to say hi to. If not, I'm sure there are others around who wouldn't mind saying hi.
So.. yeah, I'm back for now guys x
I think the 'darkness' is coming back. I'm in my new job and all is fine (so far), still got my good friends and family etc etc, but I'm starting to doubt my strength to get anywhere in life again.
A few weeks ago my local newspaper published an article about my friend who CTB (the day before I signed up to SS in August, weirdly enough), but it mentioned details that hadn't been shared with me like how she did it, where, what she was doing before it happened etc and it really upset me. You could call it a trigger, I guess.
I just feel like I'm not eager/motivated enough to push through with life, work hard, move up the ladder and get somewhere. I feel frustrated and somewhat embarrassed by myself most days. I don't have social anxiety but I'm feeling drained in social situations and like I'm not showing my 'best self' (whatever that is). I'm also 25 and still live with my parents. This new job could help me be able to afford my own place, but need to see how things pan out.
That and herpes is giving me grief (not to go into TMI but I've spent today in pain and it puts a downer on everything). I'm not feeling 100% defeated, but I'm definitely not able to enjoy more than a day at a time.
Don't really know what I'm writing this for. I hope I still see some familiar names on here to say hi to. If not, I'm sure there are others around who wouldn't mind saying hi.
So.. yeah, I'm back for now guys x
