Discussion Ayahuasca home brew - thoughts/experiences?

[LittleJem]

Hi all, I'd value your thoughts or experiences on Ayahuasca for depression... I have one of the main ingredients for Ayahuasca (Caapi) as I read it was good for depression by itself...I tried brewing it, evaporated it by mistake and not sure it did anything for me. My bf is more scientific, so I am going to get a second ingredient containing DMT and homebrew. I have been tempted in desperation to drink Aya again, but the "retreats" are so expensive, I think just trying it at home is worth a shot.

Last time I drank Aya, it was with a Shaman in Spain. It cured my (lifelong) self-hatred, but the wanting to die stayed with me. It also gave me a crazy vision of marrying my soon to be ex husband. I believed in the vision for years, through a difficult marriage, and now those beliefs are no more. So if I drink again, I will hope to believe nothing

I am tired of hallucinating, but want to try this again for depression.

Any thoughts and experiences very valued, thank you

 

[bukowski]

It cured your lifelong self-hatred? Wow. I would give anything to be able to like myself. I have wanted to try Ayahuasca but have been too scared after reading some tales of just how painful a trip can be. I also worry about the interactions between psych meds and Ayahuasca. That is great that you experienced that benefit.

I am sorry that I have nothing to offer in terms of brewing. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you all the best.

 

[LittleJem]

It cured your lifelong self-hatred? Wow. I would give anything to be able to like myself. I have wanted to try Ayahuasca but have been too scared after reading some tales of just how painful a trip can be. I also worry about the interactions between psych meds and Ayahuasca. That is great that you experienced that benefit.

I am sorry that I have nothing to offer in terms of brewing. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you all the best.

I used to wake up everyday thinking "I hate myself and I want to die" and now it's just "I want to die." Even my mum, who never noticed anything much, said I was happier after Ayahuasca. You have to come of psych meds for a while before. For some people, it helps depression a lot, but others are still depressed.

I swore I'd not drink it again, as it was quite intense, and also that's what I thought my "soul" was telling me (I thought I was communicating with my soul on the Aya)...but the big vision I had of my marriage - I literally got engaged because of it - has ended. Now I just want to see if it helps the depression again x

 

[Sensei]

Interesting. I'll receive Mimosa hostilis and Syrian Rue any day now. It's not as elaborate and sophisticated as Ayahuasca, but if it works, it's a real DMT experience. I'm a bit nervous to be honest, because I'm bipolar and the risks are unknown. I'll have to start with low doses and see what happens. It's an act of desperation really. However pathetic it may sound, I hope to find some kind of hope and salvation.

 

[Kassender]

I did it in a retreat in Holland and i have to say it was a really good experience.
It was scary as hell, as i completely lost myself at one point but i came back really feeling regenerated.

Be careful with it though, try not to do it unsupervised, its extremely powerful

 

[Final Escape]

I badly want to try ayahuasca or ibogaine as well. Either one would be exciting I'm sure.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

because I'm bipolar and the risks are unknown.

This is how I feel. Sucks, a lot of things aren't good for Bipolars.

I never had a good time tripping and for whatever reason I did it a lot in my teens and 20s. Part of me thinks LSD / pot use in my teens caused a lot of my problems today. Life is confusing enough to me. Tripping always added another layer of weirdness. But Ayahuasca is natural and I tend to trust natural more than man made

I'm a bit scared of Ayahuasca because it lasts for hours. But I've read it the longer the experience the more beneficial it would be. Unlike DMT which only last 20 mins.

People also mention your "setting" is important. So I don't think doing it in my shitty house where I loath myself most of the day would be helpful. Those Ayahuasca retreats sound good, but then again I don't want to trip balls with strangers in another country with a chance of vomiting and diarrhea. People describe it has a death life experience and I don't think I would want to come back from that.


On a side note. I feel Joe Rogan massively over hypes DMT. The guy is healthy, exercises A LOT and probably has the best diet money can buy.


.

 

[LittleJem]

I badly want to try ayahuasca or ibogaine as well. Either one would be exciting I'm sure.

I recommend doing it with a Shaman. Both are extremely strong. I have drank the Ayahuasca before. I don't think I'd do Ibogaine again alone. Last time, I did try this, I thought I'd broken myself.

Interesting. I'll receive Mimosa hostilis and Syrian Rue any day now. It's not as elaborate and sophisticated as Ayahuasca, but if it works, it's a real DMT experience. I'm a bit nervous to be honest, because I'm bipolar and the risks are unknown. I'll have to start with low doses and see what happens. It's an act of desperation really. However pathetic it may sound, I hope to find some kind of hope and salvation.

Really wish you luck. If it's bipolar depression, might be worth looking at Methylene Blue too...which is an MAOI.

I'm also doing this from desperation. I hope it helps you

 

[bukowski]

It's an act of desperation really. However pathetic it may sound, I hope to find some kind of hope and salvation.

Nothing pathetic about that sentiment at all.

 

[LittleJem]

I did it in a retreat in Holland and i have to say it was a really good experience.
It was scary as hell, as i completely lost myself at one point but i came back really feeling regenerated.

Be careful with it though, try not to do it unsupervised, its extremely powerful

Please tell us more if you don't mind, like how were you before and after, and how long did it last? Do you think it was helpful to be at a proper retreat (I have looked at Holland, just not working anymore so don't know about spending money). Thank you

 

[End Piece]

I've done Aya about 3-4x and while I had some interesting trips that showed me a lot, there haven't been any long term positive affects for me. But if it has helped you in the past, by all means go for it.

 

[Kassender]

Please tell us more if you don't mind, like how were you before and after, and how long did it last? Do you think it was helpful to be at a proper retreat (I have looked at Holland, just not working anymore so don't know about spending money). Thank you

I had just quit my job due to stress and hostile coworkers, and the retreat was a birthday gift to myself. Either it worked, or i wasnt coming back.

I think its important to be surrounded by people who know how this thing works and who are ready to listen, because this shit is going to go down on you like the hammer of thor.
It digs right through the amygdala and will pull anything it might find.
So being in a safe space with people looking after you will be reassuring.

Also you need someone to hug/listen because the end of the trip is not pleasant.

Its important, if you go in a retreat, that you dont do it just once, i stayed for 3 days and the first time was really depressed after,
The second one was an absolute nightmare but i felt so alive after it.

i really felt lighter, invincible.
Like nothing could hurt me anymore.


Just dont smoke pot for the following week because it will kick the ayahuasca back in.
Be careful you are not prone to psychosis because no one talks about it, but some people go mad after taking it.

Hence the utility of the retreat, you will have someone to help you come back to reality.

But its just a high unfortunately, there were no longterm effects.
id do it again though.

 

[LittleJem]

Thank you. I am not holding out much hope for it. Just want to try something before I try another medication. I think my brain was just made this way, I can see it through my whole life...

 

[Sensei]

This is how I feel. Sucks, a lot of things aren't good for Bipolars.

Indeed. Add lithium and suddenly twenty more things become unhealthy for you.

I never had a good time tripping and for whatever reason I did it a lot in my teens and 20s. Part of me thinks LSD / pot use in my teens caused a lot of my problems today. Life is confusing enough to me. Tripping always added another layer of weirdness. But Ayahuasca is natural and I tend to trust natural more than man made.

If you take lithium, than it might play a role in this. A quite recent study shows that it amplifies the effects of hallucinogens. Who knows in what other ways it might affect you when trippling?

I'm a bit scared of Ayahuasca because it lasts for hours. But I've read it the longer the experience the more beneficial it would be. Unlike DMT which only last 20 mins.

On the other hand, it comes on slower if you don't smoke it and probably makes it a less shocking experience.

People also mention your "setting" is important. So I don't think doing it in my shitty house where I loath myself most of the day would be helpful. Those Ayahuasca retreats sound good, but then again I don't want to trip balls with strangers in another country with a chance of vomiting and diarrhea.

If you have someone who can be your trip sitter you can always do it outside, e.g. in a meadow or on a mountain.

People describe it has a death life experience and I don't think I would want to come back from that.

Well, as I understand it some people really feel like they're dying, but usually it's a matter of so-called ego death.

On a side note. I feel Joe Rogan massively over hypes DMT. The guy is healthy, exercises A LOT and probably has the best diet money can buy.

I recognize the name. I'll see what he has to say about this.