15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,550
So about a month ago before I completely gave up I was trying to get help for my mental health (despite how bad the service was before when I tried).
Went to the doctor, he referred me as an urgent case to the wellbeing service. I was supposed to get a reply in two weeks, maximum. In this time I check myself into a&e for feeling suicidal. A mental health team talk to me, tell me I'm just 'emotionally distressed' despite three previous suicide attempts and a long note I'd written for my doctor detailing five years of feeling depressed, anxious, detached and paranoid. How someone can be just 'emotionally distressed' for five years straight to the point of several suicide attempts, I'll never know. I was also told that a close friend didn't care about me, that if I carried on being depressed and suicidal I wouldn't be able to get the job I wanted and was essentially berated for donating to charities/giving to the homeless. They asked if I felt better after talking to them, I said no, they said it's normal when you talk to people about things (I feel better when I get things off my chest) and sent me home, still feeling suicidal.
The letter from the well-being service never came, but I got one from a 'school nurse' service. Texted the number on a whim and she chased up well-being, they called me back and said I'd hear from another team to organise an assessment. This was about three/four weeks after my initial referral, so a week to two after I was supposed to have a date for my assessment.
The team called me last week, let it ring for a matter of seconds (it rang for so little time I didn't even have the opportunity to grab my phone right next to me) and hung up. I called back and they didn't answer. They called me back and said they'd let me know when an assessment was coming through.
Another number called me on Monday while I was in class so I couldn't answer, and only got the opportunity to call back today. They answered, told me they weren't dealing with my case (even though they called me in the first place) and that I was being sent to a youth team. Then they gave me the number to the team that called me last week. Called them again and I didn't answer.
Don't know why I'm even bothering with them when I'll hopefully ctb in a few days. Guess I wanted to have at least something to fall back on in case my attempt fails, on the off-chance they do something useful for once. But if they can't even acknowledge I'm more than just 'emotionally distressed' and sort out an assessment and treating that was supposed to be a priority, I don't have a chance whatever happens.
Went to the doctor, he referred me as an urgent case to the wellbeing service. I was supposed to get a reply in two weeks, maximum. In this time I check myself into a&e for feeling suicidal. A mental health team talk to me, tell me I'm just 'emotionally distressed' despite three previous suicide attempts and a long note I'd written for my doctor detailing five years of feeling depressed, anxious, detached and paranoid. How someone can be just 'emotionally distressed' for five years straight to the point of several suicide attempts, I'll never know. I was also told that a close friend didn't care about me, that if I carried on being depressed and suicidal I wouldn't be able to get the job I wanted and was essentially berated for donating to charities/giving to the homeless. They asked if I felt better after talking to them, I said no, they said it's normal when you talk to people about things (I feel better when I get things off my chest) and sent me home, still feeling suicidal.
The letter from the well-being service never came, but I got one from a 'school nurse' service. Texted the number on a whim and she chased up well-being, they called me back and said I'd hear from another team to organise an assessment. This was about three/four weeks after my initial referral, so a week to two after I was supposed to have a date for my assessment.
The team called me last week, let it ring for a matter of seconds (it rang for so little time I didn't even have the opportunity to grab my phone right next to me) and hung up. I called back and they didn't answer. They called me back and said they'd let me know when an assessment was coming through.
Another number called me on Monday while I was in class so I couldn't answer, and only got the opportunity to call back today. They answered, told me they weren't dealing with my case (even though they called me in the first place) and that I was being sent to a youth team. Then they gave me the number to the team that called me last week. Called them again and I didn't answer.
Don't know why I'm even bothering with them when I'll hopefully ctb in a few days. Guess I wanted to have at least something to fall back on in case my attempt fails, on the off-chance they do something useful for once. But if they can't even acknowledge I'm more than just 'emotionally distressed' and sort out an assessment and treating that was supposed to be a priority, I don't have a chance whatever happens.
