Avoiding family’s birthdays

[lululoo]

If you're trying not to CTB right around a family member's birthday, how much time do you think is a good buffer?

I have a relative's birthday in late May and one of my only friend's birthday is in late July. So should I go for late June? I really don't think I can wait until September. That seems impossible.

 

[Youthanasia]

That is entirely up to you really. I know why you'd feel that way, but i'd value myself over others.

I don't know you but all I can say is, maybe you'll have fun, maybe you won't. Follow your heart. Good luck, best wishes

 

[Apostle]

I think about this kind of thing a lot. In the end I'd say there's just so much that goes on throughout the year, and so much time loved ones will need to move on from a death...that it's pretty much impossible to ctb without having a negative effect on some kind of important event or occasion, especially if you have a large family. I'm trying to keep my death as far away from that stuff as I can, but family events for the next while will inevitably be kinda messed up by the recent death of a relative, no matter what, I imagine.

 

[Walilamdzi]

I have the same problem. There's one this month, then none in June or July but and important one in August. Then after that there's quite a few months before anyone else's birthday.

 

[lululoo]

I think about this kind of thing a lot. In the end I'd say there's just so much that goes on throughout the year, and so much time loved ones will need to move on from a death...that it's pretty much impossible to ctb without having a negative effect on some kind of important event or occasion, especially if you have a large family. I'm trying to keep my death as far away from that stuff as I can, but family events for the next while will inevitably be kinda messed up by the recent death of a relative, no matter what, I imagine.

Right but birthdays are events that happen every year so it seems best to avoid them if possible.

I guess I'll just have that one month buffer and try not to feel guilty about it.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

@lululoo It´s a hard one I feel there are only a few times a year that is the right time for suicide because of family members birthday like my my brothers and my father have birthdays in January, February, March and then me in April, mother in July and then there are the holiday seasons like Christmas.

There are just so few months that seem to be right to ctb. But for your question I´d say a new month where no one has birthdays then it doesn´t matter if your loved one had a birthday 2-3 weeks prior as long as it was last month just my opinion, it´s not ideal but with so many birthdays i´d say if you can just let them have their month in peace that will be fine since they will associate the month you died with negativity and it will be ruined forever most likely.

 

[lululoo]

@lululoo It´s a hard one I feel there are only a few times a year that is the right time for suicide because of family members birthday like my my brothers and my father have birthdays in January, February, March and then me in April, mother in July and then there are the holiday seasons like Christmas.

There are just so few months that seem to be right to ctb. But for your question I´d say a new month where no one has birthdays then it doesn´t matter if your loved one had a birthday 2-3 weeks prior as long as it was last month just my opinion, it´s not ideal but with so many birthdays i´d say if you can just let them have their month in peace that will be fine since they will associate the month you died with negativity and it will be ruined forever most likely.

Thank you so much, that helps me feel better.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Thank you so much, that helps me feel better.

Your thread too, it feels good to know we are not alone in feelings this way. It seems there are so much in the way of suicide when it finally comes down to it, like the birthdays, holidays and also where to do it, Like I could technically shoot myself in my apartment with closed blinds so I could do it in peace but then it might stain some of my things from body decomposing and ruin the apartment for others, but if I do it in nature outside I have to make sure nobody sees because then they will report us there are SO many things to consider its so annoying!

 

[JadedGray]

Not birthdays, but I was going to avoid attempting in May and June because I didn't want to ruin the months of Mother's Day and Father's Day for my parents.

 

[Mart]

I think you're the only one that can decide that. Nobody knows timing.

 

[lululoo]

I think you're the only one that can decide that. Nobody knows timing.

Of course only I can decide in the end, but this is a topic that applies to everyone who has anyone in their life so it is a very appropriate topic to ask for advice on.

 

[Mart]

Of course only I can decide in the end, but this is a topic that applies to everyone who has anyone in their life so it is a very appropriate topic to ask for advice on.

It definitely is, not faulting you for anything. Just think timing is a really really hard thing.

 

[Jenna]

It's hard because there will always be something. I know I'm trying to get through my sons finals. I'm so sorry.

 

[Purgatory]

If you're trying not to CTB right around a family member's birthday, how much time do you think is a good buffer?

I have a relative's birthday in late May and one of my only friend's birthday is in late July. So should I go for late June? I really don't think I can wait until September. That seems impossible.

There is no good buffer. Not for me anyway. There is always a birthday, holiday, or event.
Mortal Kombat voice. "Choose you're destiny!"

 

[TAW122]

I generally try to avoid special days if possible, but when the pain is too great or circumstances don't allow (such as not being able to find another 'perfect' or even 'ideal' time) it, then I may just go through regardless of occasion. I do however, make an effort to avoid being in such a situation and timing, but of course, I can't sacrifice my well being and compromise my plans/exit because of others.

 

[Purgatory]

It's hard because there will always be something. I know I'm trying to get through my sons finals. I'm so sorry.

You have no reason to be sorry about your feelings. Your feelings are your own. Many of us here feel the same. (Finals. Graduation. Prom)
@lululoo and @Jenna

 

[lululoo]

I think I will move my date up to earlier in June. This makes it closer to one birthday than I wanted, and it is before rather than after Father's Day. But so be it. My dad is an asshole anyway.

I just can't take how I feel everyday. And I also can't take the anxiety about getting CTB right. It is destroying me. At one point I felt at ease about it but all my brain needs is time and it will come up with a new idea of something I have done wrong or could go wrong. I'm in misery.

 

[Umbra]

I mean, I think if you really care about how they'll feel (id argue you shouldnt but lets not do it in this thread) I'd do it a few days after the July one's birthday.

 

[IronTusk]

I'm a dead beat cousin I hate family reunions

 

[lululoo]

I mean, I think if you really care about how they'll feel (id argue you shouldnt but lets not do it in this thread) I'd do it a few days after the July one's birthday.

In my view a month before is better than a few days after. Might affect her this year, but in time it won't matter. Whereas if it is very close to her birthday than the association will always be there. Anyway, I just don't feel I can wait until July or August.

 

[Umbra]

In my view a month before is better than a few days after. Might affect her this year, but in time it won't matter. Whereas if it is very close to her birthday than the association will always be there. Anyway, I just don't feel I can wait until July or August.

I'd think that you ctb'ing before their birthdays would essentially ruin it while doing it after would let them enjoy it. Your call though

 

[Allpainnogain]

I think I will move my date up to earlier in June. This makes it closer to one birthday than I wanted, and it is before rather than after Father's Day. But so be it. My dad is an asshole anyway.

I just can't take how I feel everyday. And I also can't take the anxiety about getting CTB right. It is destroying me. At one point I felt at ease about it but all my brain needs is time and it will come up with a new idea of something I have done wrong or could go wrong. I'm in misery.

What's your method?