Help Avoidant Personality Disorder/Extreme Social Anxiety?

[kane]

I find it near impossible to relax around anyone outside of immediate family. I feel constantly on edge and anxious whenever someone might be around. I just have this churning dread in the pit of my stomach. I want to hide away, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I can't even relax in my own home now, because I'm subconsciously anticipating someone turning up and knocking on the door (the landlady has been coming round unannounced because they're doing construction work around my place.) Every time I hear a sound in the drive I go into 'fight or flight' mode. I don't want to go out in case they're doing work when I come back and I have to talk to them. It's really damaging my health, and I don't know how to cope anymore. Does anyone have any experience really getting relief from such issues? I don't want to have to manage this anymore.

 

[issyishere]

In my opinion this should be done with a therapist but have you considered doing something small to "expose" yourself to your fears. Maybe a jog outside everyday etc. I had social anxiety too but that left when I began going to the gym. I left my headphones on so nobody would talk to me but I eventually left my comfort zone little by little. I'm not an expert at social interaction but the small exposures did help and I can mostly function talking to strangers. I get nervous still but nothing debilitating i'd say

 

[signifying nothing]

I wonder what is it that's different about your immediate family vs strangers? Have you tried to figure out more specifically what the sense of threat is that you feel?

 

[Weary Soul]

I find it near impossible to relax around anyone outside of immediate family. I feel constantly on edge and anxious whenever someone might be around. I just have this churning dread in the pit of my stomach. I want to hide away, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I can't even relax in my own home now, because I'm subconsciously anticipating someone turning up and knocking on the door (the landlady has been coming round unannounced because they're doing construction work around my place.) Every time I hear a sound in the drive I go into 'fight or flight' mode. I don't want to go out in case they're doing work when I come back and I have to talk to them. It's really damaging my health, and I don't know how to cope anymore. Does anyone have any experience really getting relief from such issues? I don't want to have to manage this anymore.

I am this way as well - except that I cut my family out of my life because they are extremely abusive/toxic.

I too hear noises and immediately go into flight/fight/freeze mode. I actually disabled my door bell and I now have a Rottweiler and guns.

I think this is PTSD (maybe in addition to avoidant personality disorder/extreme social anxiety)?

The only, and I mean only, thing that helped me were benzos (they did try a bunch of other meds - SSRIs, SNRIs, antipsychotics, amitriptyline, Topamax, etc.)

I used to be on xanax 3 mg/day, and had been prescribed this for 9 years. It worked, really really well. I never got high from it or built a tolerance to it that would have required an increase in dose. I took it as prescribed and I could function.

But, ~2 years ago, my doc arbitrarily decided to stop prescribing it and I was forced to quit them cold turkey (I went through total hell and it almost killed me).

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is hell to live with. Benzos might help you but please know that these meds are hell to stop and if one is not tapered off these meds slowly and correctly, it can kill.

<3

 

[kane]

In my opinion this should be done with a therapist but have you considered doing something small to "expose" yourself to your fears. Maybe a jog outside everyday etc. I had social anxiety too but that left when I began going to the gym. I left my headphones on so nobody would talk to me but I eventually left my comfort zone little by little. I'm not an expert at social interaction but the small exposures did help and I can mostly function talking to strangers. I get nervous still but nothing debilitating i'd say

I used to force myself to go for a run every day. I don't think it really reduced the anxiety, though I guess it moved it outdoors. Possibly it's a difference between normal social anxiety and a personality disorder? Exposure never seems to change things for me. I can do the same shit day after day for years and still feel just as nauseous every time, even though rationally I know nothing bad will happen. It's like my body keeps insisting that a situation is threatening, regardless of how much evidence I provide to the contrary.

I wonder what is it that's different about your immediate family vs strangers? Have you tried to figure out more specifically what the sense of threat is that you feel?

I suppose it's to do with acceptance - I know my immediate family understand and accept most of my weaknesses. With a stranger maybe there's always the possibility that I'll reveal something shameful about myself and they'll judge me for it?

 

[Kramer]

I have it too. There's no cure.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I have it too. There's no cure.

Yeah, it needs to be 'managed'. Fml

 

[signifying nothing]

With a stranger maybe there's always the possibility that I'll reveal something shameful about myself and they'll judge me for it?

I hide away from the world for fear of being judged - that's how I used to feel. I had to go into therapy to deal with my problems, which turned out to go a lot deeper than I'd thought.

A good therapist would provide a non-judgemental and safe place for you to talk about what you're going through if its really getting bad. Otherwise, maybe look at medications or herbal remedies you can try to relieve the anxiety when it hits.

 

[issyishere]

I hide away from the world for fear of being judged - that's how I used to feel. I had to go into therapy to deal with my problems, which turned out to go a lot deeper than I'd thought.

A good therapist would provide a non-judgemental and safe place for you to talk about what you're going through if its really getting bad. Otherwise, maybe look at medications or herbal remedies you can try to relieve the anxiety when it hits.

Yeah I absolutely agree with your reply. This seems to be an underlying issue that OP might not be aware about and the solutions you brought up I think can help. I can kind of pinpoint certain aspects of my upbringing as to why I felt the way I did. Also I don't believe that it's permanent or never goes away like others suggested. People can absolutely become acclimated to social settings. You might not enjoy it, I know I sure as hell don't, but I can get by if you get what i'm trying to say. OP what are your next steps?

 

[signifying nothing]

I can kind of pinpoint certain aspects of my upbringing as to why I felt the way I did.

Yes, it turned out a lot of my problems stemmed from something that had happened when I was very young, and didn't even know had happened until I came upon it in therapy. Before that I had always had a sense that something was wrong, but couldn't pinpoint it or put it into words even though my body was clearly trying to tell me otherwise.

 

[GoneGirl]

www.ilovepanicattacks.com

There is a 14 week course on that website.. it completely cured my anxiety & panic attacks. I used to have multiple panic attacks a day now I'm down to zero & have been for about 3 years

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Not sure about your age but if you're young there's a good chance it'll just fuck off automatically. I had social anxiety from the start of puberty to the end and then it tapered off. Now I can walk around in sweatpants, not shower, not shave and not give a fuck. I'd rather avoid interacting with people so I still have some amount of it left but it never affects my daily life of hinders me from doing what I want to do.

With a stranger maybe there's always the possibility that I'll reveal something shameful about myself and they'll judge me for it?

I can almost guarantee that this won't stick around for ever. It's based on some subconscious beliefs that might take a while to realize are incorrect, but I think it can get removed in a matter of months or years. If you attack it head-on by exposure and self-talk it'll go faster.