Avoidance leading to unfulfilling life

[BlueLock]

My life can fit in the four walls of my bedroom. My only friend is my sister who's the room over and we only leave to get food or for me to go to therapy. It used to be better but... idk this is it now. No idea what to do to fix this and honestly I don't really want to give up my ways. I think the only outcome for me is suicide and honestly it makes me sad. I think maybe life could've gone differently for me but this is where I ended up. Now the only thing to do is end it.

 

[Mint Floss]

I know it's cheap but I'm in the same situation I stg

 

[Crow_88]

The sad truth is that if we keep our ways the same, the same things happen. And also that being said, it can be nearly impossible to change our ways.

 

[BlueLock]

The sad truth is that if we keep our ways the same, the same things happen. And also that being said, it can be nearly impossible to change our ways.

Yeah... Part of the reason I wanna ctb so bad. It feels unbearable to remain like this and impossible to change.

 

[Crow_88]

Yeah... Part of the reason I wanna ctb so bad. It feels unbearable to remain like this and impossible to change.

Bit of a catch 22 problem eh. I did manage to change a bit and I sometimes I almost enjoy my life. It's incredible but it never lasts

 

[twistedtransistor47]

It's just so hard to get out there and change for the better. Everything feels like a steep vertical climb to me

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think the title of your post is so accurate. I've mostly let social anxiety hold me back but in every area of life. Work, socialising, relationships.

I suppose I also have to wonder whether I would in fact have been any happier pursuing things. Would the social anxiety really ever have gone? Would my alternative life have been worth the discomfort I went through to get it?

Do you feel like you want to change? Is there any interest left in the world at all? If you are close to your sister, maybe you could try baby steps together. Walk in a park or, grab a coffee before or after your therapy session. Does she struggle too? I suppose enough interest or hope needs to be there though. Are you suffering with anhedonia?

 

[Crow_88]

It's just so hard to get out there and change for the better. Everything feels like a steep vertical climb to me

It is. But it can be done!

 

[fadedghost]

My life can fit in the four walls of my bedroom. My only friend is my sister who's the room over and we only leave to get food or for me to go to therapy. It used to be better but... idk this is it now. No idea what to do to fix this and honestly I don't really want to give up my ways. I think the only outcome for me is suicide and honestly it makes me sad. I think maybe life could've gone differently for me but this is where I ended up. Now the only thing to do is end it.

There are life coaches out there. Unlike with a therapist, who just listens, life coaches really try to get people to make changes and do things, and care less about feelings.

I implore you to please get a life coach. If you would rather avoid suicide, and your depression is in part due to a lack of engagement in life, a life coach will quickly help you resolve those things.

 

[BlueLock]

I think the title of your post is so accurate. I've mostly let social anxiety hold me back but in every area of life. Work, socialising, relationships.

I suppose I also have to wonder whether I would in fact have been any happier pursuing things. Would the social anxiety really ever have gone? Would my alternative life have been worth the discomfort I went through to get it?

Do you feel like you want to change? Is there any interest left in the world at all? If you are close to your sister, maybe you could try baby steps together. Walk in a park or, grab a coffee before or after your therapy session. Does she struggle too? I suppose enough interest or hope needs to be there though. Are you suffering with anhedonia?

Part of me knows this isn't ever going to get better unless I make some major changes and face my fears however part of me thinks suicide is the better and easier option. I'm not sure if I'd call it anhedonia, or at least not severe anhedonia because there are things I enjoy in the world still, like art and writing, it's mostly the emotional pain I'm trying to escape. My sister's in the same boat as me though she's not suicidal just depressed, I guess you could call us both a little agoraphobic. We help eachother out though. Thanks for the comment

 

[themindian]

WOW holy shit I thought I was totally alone in this notion with this fucking anhedonia in that I can't enjoy a single god.damn thing anymore even though I've been perfectly happy all my life just in my.own personal world in my room.

My next thing I'm trying is to "take my room with me" by making the most amazing camping setup possible and taking my steam deck with me to travel the world in any climate.

And my stipulation is that if it doesn't work/doesn't cure my anhedonia/make me happy for once I'll just kill myself.

I honestly think.its like a demon/evil elites draining people like us's energy cuz maybe they think that we should "pay into the system" more since being THIS happy all alone with just the stuff in our rooms doesn't let them profit off is since we basically don't need to buy anything to be happy given that we already have everything we need.

That's just my theory I mean idk for sure but in my mind THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL that life should be THIS FUCKING BORING when I remember being in A LOT OF ECSTASY(and I had this idea that I can attain a "maximum state of aliveness" somehow by amplifying my bodies ability to experience pleasures I already have") ONLY FOR THIS FUCKING DEMON/EVIL ELITE RO PLOP HIMSELF/HERSELF DOWN IN MY LIFE AND LEECH EVERY DROP OF DOPAMINE I HAVE IN MY BODY.

Like how the fuck does this even happen?!?!?!

Anyway I bought a gun just in case my camping expedition doesn't work out but WOW am I glad to see that I'm not alone here.