Venting Attention seeking

[AnonymouslyBlue]

I was with some friends of mine today, and the topic of depression came up and how some members in our group have gone out of their way to let everyone know just how "hard" their lives really are. Either by literally saying, "I'm depressed, maybe I should kill myself" or by posting suicidal things onto their Instagram stories and then praising everyone who came rushing to their aid by rocking up at their house and comforting them.

And then my friends began commenting about how petty it was, how tiring it is to hear that so and so say they're depressed and how everyone has gone out of their way just because so and so made a post about themselves.

And I don't want to sound like I don't give a shit, because who knows - maybe those people really are suffering but all I could think was how bad it sounded and how much I don't want to end up being "that person" who cried and got attention because of a social media post or a self act of harming myself in front of everyone in hopes that they will pay attention.

All I could think was, if those people were really dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, would they really make it as public as they do? To me, depression is an intimate and personal feeling that I battle everyday, for months / years, not something that I want to put out into the world for everyone to see the ugliness that I'm harboring.

Except places like this, where I'm anonymous and can speak my mind without the fear that someone I know will catch on that it's 'me' behind these words.

Am I wrong in thinking that way? That these friends of mine who say they're depressed and go out of their way to let everyone know it are just doing this for attention?

Am I wrong for getting angry because they might be doing it for attention, like, is this just a joke to you? These feelings that so many try to handle but can't, is that just an attention tactic to you?

I want to CTB, but I don't want to become like those people that my friends talk about and see as petty and stupid because they think I did it for attention.

None of them know about me, about the real feelings that I battle with every minute of everyday, but I'm worried that the moment they do I just become another attention seeker who wants compassion in a public manner.

It's a conflicting feeling, to want to get rid of your friends because you know that they're bad for you but also want to keep holding on because, who else have you got?

I don't want to offend anyone and I'm sorry if I have, I just wanted to let out my frustrations with the whole situation so I truly am sorry if I've offended anyone in any way.

 

[Boonks]

Simple. Tupac said, "...we all ignorant to aids til it happens to you..." in "The Good Die Young". Meaning, those very lucky, privileged people, who live in a bubble of blissful ignorance, are incapable of understanding and it's not even their fault.

Fact is, people are gonna talk. Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one. People say what they say according to their personal experience, thus, what people have to say is limited and narrow-minded. That's just the way it is.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's tough to call. Attention seeking is an issue in and of itself. I used to think I'd never want pity. These days things really are bad enough that it's all I've got. I can't condem anyone for seeking attention if they really do have problems.

 

[Boonks]

All I could think was, if those people were really dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, would they really make it as public as they do?

From personal experience, yes. I did. Facebook was my only outlet at one point and everyone would always hmu privately to go, "WTF kind of post was THAT?"

I ended up deleting all my socials because clearly REALNESS is not welcome.

If someone is posting on socials for attention, lol, then they need attention, clearly they're fucked and need help. I don't get it. Every human needs attention. People in pain sometimes reach out like that. I dunno why that's dismissed as being obnoxious and "attention-seeking" as if that's a bad thing. I just think it's a human thing. Hopefully we have the intelligence and instinct and care, even, to differentiate between a real hurting person reaching out and a real troll.

 

[k75]

I'm a good actress when I care to be. Unless I go out of my way to tell or show people I'm struggling, they have no idea. This isn't an accident. So in my daily life, unless it's a cry for help and I want someone to step in and save me from myself, I don't talk about it, post about it, drop hints.

I know everyone is different, but I tend to project that mindset onto other people. I know there are people who seem to think being suicidal is somehow cool and like the attention, but there are also people who genuinely want help, and that's not a bad thing. It's sometimes hard to tell them apart.

But regardless, I think if you're truly serious, nobody will see it coming because you didn't want to be stopped. At least, that's how it is for me. When I stop communicating, it's a red flag for me.

 

[AnonymouslyBlue]

From personal experience, yes. I did. Facebook was my only outlet at one point and everyone would always hmu privately to go, "WTF kind of post was THAT?"

I ended up deleting all my socials because clearly REALNESS is not welcome.

If someone is posting on socials for attention, lol, then they need attention, clearly they're fucked and need help. I don't get it. Every human needs attention. People in pain sometimes reach out like that. I dunno why that's dismissed as being obnoxious and "attention-seeking" as if that's a bad thing. I just think it's a human thing. Hopefully we have the intelligence and instinct and care, even, to differentiate between a real hurting person reaching out and a real troll.

I'm sorry that you got brushed off for reaching out, and I think that's the difference here. You really were going through pain, trying to reach out for help but got pushed aside for being too honest and no one took you seriously.

My friends, the ones who say and go about like they're depressed, Idk, it just seems like to them that they're really only doing it for the sake of they want attention and this seems to be the only way they can get it.

Sometimes some of them do it and people excuse their behavior, the line of, "oh shame, they're going through such a hard time so just bear with them" pops up more than I like and whatever they do is excused because suddenly, "they're depressed".

I care about them and if they're going through a rough time, I want to be there for them and help them.

But in today's society, at least from my experience with it, it's so hard to distinguish who is really in pain and who really needs help to who is just doing it because it sounds, "edgy" and "cool" and they can get away with things because they're already "going through so much".

I think that is what pisses me off the most about this whole thing. That my friends, at least some of them, really are just doing this for the sake of being edgy, to gain attention because they haven't been in the spotlight. And this is a serious problem, suffering from severe depression is not a joke, but to them it is.

And I'm just there like, well now I definitely can't reach out for help because they'll just see me as another young adult who wants attention for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Rachel74]

I attention seek when I feel the need and post outrageous posts on Facebook then get messages from my sister asking if I'm ok?
I feel sometimes people are blind to my illness as it's not visible.

 

[BPD_LE]

I'm an attention seeker but only to those I want attention from. I'm holding my hand up here guys *waving. I mix up attention with love. I actually want love. Attention to me = love. At school I was naughty, still am at 37! Bad attention is better than none at all. In serious cases, attention seeking can be a desperate attempt to ask for help. Facebook confuses things. I've never sought attention on there. Like when people tag and take photos of themselves in hospital, I'm like WTF! I don't get that. But in some statuses, I can feel the pain and know it's genuine. I don't seek attention here. I don't need to. The love and support here is huge. Good thread @AnonymouslyBlue ❤

 

[Rachel74]

I'm an attention seeker but only to those I want attention from. I'm holding my hand up here guys *waving. I mix up attention with love. I actually want love. Attention to me = love. At school I was naughty, still am at 37! Bad attention is better than none at all. In serious cases, attention seeking can be a desperate attempt to ask for help. Facebook confuses things. I've never sought attention on there. Like when people tag and take photos of themselves in hospital, I'm like WTF! I don't get that. But in some statuses, I can feel the pain and know it's genuine. I don't seek attention here. I don't need to. The love and support here is huge. Good thread @AnonymouslyBlue ❤

See on FB I see some status and I think not him again. I know I attention seek but some really go over the top. I broke a nail please give me sympathy.

 

[AnonymouslyBlue]

I attention seek when I feel the need and post outrageous posts on Facebook then get messages from my sister asking if I'm ok?
I feel sometimes people are blind to my illness as it's not visible.

I want to reach out, but I'm afraid that they'll just see me as looking for attention for all the wrong reasons and I'll become an annoyance to them and get brushed aside.

Purely because some members in our group have kind of ruined the opportunity to reach out for help by literally asking for help at every single chance that they get.

 

[BPD_LE]

See on FB I see some status and I think not him again. I know I attention seek but some really go over the top. I broke a nail please give me sympathy.

I know the ones you're talking about. One posted a photo of herself in a&e apparently curled up in pain. Why would you do that? I sware I'm on a different planet sometimes, I don't understand 'normal' people at all!

 

[Dawn0071111]

I think that when one ventures into questioning someones motives, its a dangerous slippery slope. Where did this peculiar conditioning of "...if a person is forthcoming about self-harm, depression or suicidal thoughts then they must be doing it for attention..."

You were honest enough to say your premise, which is that you believe that depression is a condition which in & of itself makes the person with it to never admit, talk about its effects. Which to me is shame... that the depression may cause shame, self-loathing.... to the point where they never open up about it. Yes, I can see that. But a few things; We all have different temperments, personalites & many times depression does not manifest alone, a person might also have a co-occuring disorder that makes them more prone to reach out and ask for soothing, help or comfort, such as PTSD, CPTSD, Borderline, etc. The person is in pain, a part of them wants to die & for shorthand many of us just use the word depressed when there could be much more phycologically going on.

I know I have been very open about my pain & suffering thru my trauma/NVS/PTSD, I was in horrific pain & as a human social animal I wanted soothing, love from people.

Some pain prompts us to isolate. Some pain we want empathy from our peers.

Yes, there are the few who may feign suicide or depression as a way to get "attention" but I belive this is a tiny minority, and even in such case, one would have to ask what dysfunction does this person have that they have not aquired the skills to be able to meet thier needs for connectio other than pretending to be mentally ill?

IF you are asserting that: "...If a person was TRULY depressed, they would never tell anyone..." Thats just BS. You have your way of coping. They have thiers.

Also. For the so called friends who publicly commented about how "petty it was and how tiring it is to hear about thier pain..." I think thats just awful. If you want help , then do so, if you dont then move on but why judge?

If the concern really is that the person seeking "attention" is not legitimate in thier claims, why not just tell the person to thier face? People start rumors are nasty, aviod the person..etc. they don't have a moral high ground to look down on that person either. If they are talking behind thier back & dont confront the person in question.

I think it becomes obvious over time who the people are who are innapropriately using a condition they may not have toget attetion, and those who are suxk of being alone in thier pain. If people are getting TIRED OF SUPPORTING, that does not mean the person is faking. But need to learn better communication & coping skills...

So many hurting people have been shamed and invalidated by this accusation. I have. Society says if you need help ask. When you ask your told you just are doing it for attention. Wtf?

Attention is experinced as care & possibly a form of love. It is very powerful for social creatures, look at millions of stories even here on SS, of people who have lost nearly everything because someone came along and gave them "ATTENTION". We live in a fast paced society (Im writing from USA) where its too easy to feel ignored, isolated, when ones life is going WELL. Imagine whay thats like when one is depressed?

I dunno, I think the topic is very complicated, and if we are annoyed, maybe ask why it bothers you so much about how someone else goes about trying to get thier needs for love and connection met? Why does it bother you that a person might put up posts of suicide & harp on how miserable they are?

I don't think it necessarily make a mockery of people in crisis, depressed, suicidal as you might think. Everybody is doing the best they can to meet a LEGITIMATE need. Thier stratagy may not be the best, but this is different from faking.

What is so bad about attention anyway? Seems that most of us humans love it...

 

[epic]

All I could think was, if those people were really dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, would they really make it as public as they do? To me, depression is an intimate and personal feeling that I battle everyday, for months / years, not something that I want to put out into the world for everyone to see the ugliness that I'm harboring.

Yes,some of your friends posting " I should kill myself" truly might feel suicidal or are lonely, depressed or angry at life .If they are not one of those things they clearly have some other psychological condition.Both issues are serious and need to be addressed.Either way there is no malifide intent or wrongdoing in any of the posts.
I too feel just like you that depression is my own problem. I feel guilty about sharing my ugly feelings with with my friends and family.I feel like i would be burdening them with my problems when they already have their own,I wonder what their reaction would be and cringe.I do feel the need to speak to someone and unburden myself, but cant.But you must know ,we are wrong.If you want to speak to your friends/family on public forums or privately, about your depression,there would be absolutely nothing wrong with it.If you feel depressed go ahead and express it and know there is no wrong doing.It might even have a positive outcome,you will feel released from the burden of your sadness.
Personally even after rationally knowing that ,It is hard for me to overcome the feeling that i would traumatise the person i would be speaking too and that holds me back.Even though my brother and mother are very supportive of me.

PS: There is nothing wrong with this post as well.You are very self aware about your feelings and are willing to assess them objectively.

 

[AnonymouslyBlue]

I think that when one ventures into questioning someones motives, its a dangerous slippery slope. Where did this peculiar conditioning of "...if a person is forthcoming about self-harm, depression or suicidal thoughts then they must be doing it for attention..."

You were honest enough to say your premise, which is that you believe that depression is a condition which in & of itself makes the person with it to never admit, talk about its effects. Which to me is shame... that the depression may cause shame, self-loathing.... to the point where they never open up about it. Yes, I can see that. But a few things; We all have different temperments, personalites & many times depression does not manifest alone, a person might also have a co-occuring disorder that makes them more prone to reach out and ask for soothing, help or comfort, such as PTSD, CPTSD, Borderline, etc. The person is in pain, a part of them wants to die & for shorthand many of us just use the word depressed when there could be much more phycologically going on.

I know I have been very open about my pain & suffering thru my trauma/NVS/PTSD, I was in horrific pain & as a human social animal I wanted soothing, love from people.

Some pain prompts us to isolate. Some pain we want empathy from our peers.

Yes, there are the few who may feign suicide or depression as a way to get "attention" but I belive this is a tiny minority, and even in such case, one would have to ask what dysfunction does this person have that they have not aquired the skills to be able to meet thier needs for connectio other than pretending to be mentally ill?

IF you are asserting that: "...If a person was TRULY depressed, they would never tell anyone..." Thats just BS. You have your way of coping. They have thiers.

Also. For the so called friends who publicly commented about how "petty it was and how tiring it is to hear about thier pain..." I think thats just awful. If you want help , then do so, if you dont then move on but why judge?

If the concern really is that the person seeking "attention" is not legitimate in thier claims, why not just tell the person to thier face? People start rumors are nasty, aviod the person..etc. they don't have a moral high ground to look down on that person either. If they are talking behind thier back & dont confront the person in question.

I think it becomes obvious over time who the people are who are innapropriately using a condition they may not have toget attetion, and those who are suxk of being alone in thier pain. If people are getting TIRED OF SUPPORTING, that does not mean the person is faking. But need to learn better communication & coping skills...

So many hurting people have been shamed and invalidated by this accusation. I have. Society says if you need help ask. When you ask your told you just are doing it for attention. Wtf?

Attention is experinced as care & possibly a form of love. It is very powerful for social creatures, look at millions of stories even here on SS, of people who have lost nearly everything because someone came along and gave them "ATTENTION". We live in a fast paced society (Im writing from USA) where its too easy to feel ignored, isolated, when ones life is going WELL. Imagine whay thats like when one is depressed?

I dunno, I think the topic is very complicated, and if we are annoyed, maybe ask why it bothers you so much about how someone else goes about trying to get thier needs for love and connection met? Why does it bother you that a person might put up posts of suicide & harp on how miserable they are?

I don't think it necessarily make a mockery of people in crisis, depressed, suicidal as you might think. Everybody is doing the best they can to meet a LEGITIMATE need. Thier stratagy may not be the best, but this is different from faking.

What is so bad about attention anyway? Seems that most of us humans love it...

I don't think depression is a shameful thing and I look up to people who are brave enough to admit their struggles and ask for help when they know that they can't do it on their own.

I guess what makes me so upset is knowing that the people around me have two moods towards depression. No I between, no grey area.

1) share it on every platform and talk about it like it's just another day in the park
2) comfort those and excuse their shitty behavior because, "oh man, they're depressed"

And me, personally, I'm a very introverted person so I don't open up about what I'm feeling unless I'm extremely comfortable around someone. So to me, sharing thoughts that I have everyday on such a public medium for everyone to see makes me uncomfortable because I suddenly feel exposed. But at the same time it makes me so scared because I want to reach out, to ask for help from my friends but they're already either got the mentality that it's petty or they're doing it to be edgy and I'm scared that my plee for help will go unheard and I'll just lose them forever.

Yet, all these people (my friends) that do this really get attention and then all talk behind one another's backs about how annoyed or how much bs it is because, "Jesus, aren't we all depressed?"

I'm scared I guess, to be casted as another one of the masses that look for attention just to be cool and different.

When truthfully, I'm not. I'm just trying to get help because I can't do this alone anymore.

 

[k75]

I dunno, I think the topic is very complicated, and if we are annoyed, maybe ask why it bothers you so much about how someone else goes about trying to get thier needs for love and connection met? Why does it bother you that a person might put up posts of suicide & harp on how miserable they are?

I don't think it necessarily make a mockery of people in crisis, depressed, suicidal as you might think. Everybody is doing the best they can to meet a LEGITIMATE need. Thier stratagy may not be the best, but this is different from faking.

What is so bad about attention anyway? Seems that most of us humans love it...

It bothers me because fake cries for help/attention take away from the real ones. It desensitizes people, and that's how the ones who are really suffering fall through the cracks. Also, what happens if that person actually needs help and nobody takes them seriously anymore?

Also, usually only the frivolous posts seem to really get attention. People get scared and go silent when it's real, and that makes things worse. They don't know what to say and gloss over it. I think that's tragic.

To be clear, I'm mostly talking about the people who say "I'm just gonna kill myself" over every little thing. Car breaks down, they burn supper, their favorite reality show sucked, they missed tickets to some concert. I've seen those specific examples just this week alone on Facebook. These weren't kids, either. Like, seriously people?
And then I'm here, quietly packing up my apartment for when I CTB, and you guys are the only ones who know...

 

[134340]

It isn't wrong for you to be angry or feel the way that you do. This post is very well articulated, and you made several of your points known without being flat out offensive, which I commend you for. More people listen when you're respectful, so thank you.

I have a problem with people who repeatedly do things that are obviously attention seeking, like posting suicide threats or self harm photos on their main/public social media accounts (by which I mean I don't think having a separate vent account is bad). Depression and other mental illnesses manifest differently for different people, so staying quiet isnt what everyone does, and that doesn't necessarily make them invalid or purely attention seeking.

Attention seeking isn't always negative. Almost everyone wants (or wanted at one time) for someone to pay attention, to notice their suffering and take them out of it, and that isn't bad. The way people go about getting attention is what's viewed as negative, but I think a lot of people simply don't know how to ask for help in a healthy way. And of course, like you mentioned, there are people who do these things who may not be depressed or suffering from any mental illness at all, which is definitely infuriating for those of us who do suffer.

Many of us on this site are at a point where it doesn't really matter who sees or doesn't see our suffering. We see it, we know how debilitating it is, and we've made our decision. Once you make the decision, you have no need to seek attention anymore.

I hope this made some sort of sense. To sum it up, I don't think you're wrong for feeling the way you do, it's understandable, but I think the idea that seeking attention is inherently bad is a damaging thoughty (I'm not saying that's how you think, but it's a belief I see a lot). Asking for help isn't bad, but the way some people go about doing it is.

 

[Dawn0071111]

I get that.... you dont want to be another victim of platitudesto your face and dismissed behind your back... Fuck no who would want that? Sounds like you know some pretty shitty , petty, shallow peple. I have 2 close friends that hold space for my suffering & can honor where I am.... Not everybody are like those gossipers you are observing. There are truly e.pathic, compassionate people who just want to witness without judgement anothers persons suffering without making it about themselves or critical or judgemental.

There are quite a fewof us here... and no I dont think your being "attention seeking" by posting this.....

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I think that when one ventures into questioning someones motives, its a dangerous slippery slope. Where did this peculiar conditioning of "...if a person is forthcoming about self-harm, depression or suicidal thoughts then they must be doing it for attention..."

You were honest enough to say your premise, which is that you believe that depression is a condition which in & of itself makes the person with it to never admit, talk about its effects. Which to me is shame... that the depression may cause shame, self-loathing.... to the point where they never open up about it. Yes, I can see that. But a few things; We all have different temperments, personalites & many times depression does not manifest alone, a person might also have a co-occuring disorder that makes them more prone to reach out and ask for soothing, help or comfort, such as PTSD, CPTSD, Borderline, etc. The person is in pain, a part of them wants to die & for shorthand many of us just use the word depressed when there could be much more phycologically going on.

I know I have been very open about my pain & suffering thru my trauma/NVS/PTSD, I was in horrific pain & as a human social animal I wanted soothing, love from people.

Some pain prompts us to isolate. Some pain we want empathy from our peers.

Yes, there are the few who may feign suicide or depression as a way to get "attention" but I belive this is a tiny minority, and even in such case, one would have to ask what dysfunction does this person have that they have not aquired the skills to be able to meet thier needs for connectio other than pretending to be mentally ill?

IF you are asserting that: "...If a person was TRULY depressed, they would never tell anyone..." Thats just BS. You have your way of coping. They have thiers.

Also. For the so called friends who publicly commented about how "petty it was and how tiring it is to hear about thier pain..." I think thats just awful. If you want help , then do so, if you dont then move on but why judge?

If the concern really is that the person seeking "attention" is not legitimate in thier claims, why not just tell the person to thier face? People start rumors are nasty, aviod the person..etc. they don't have a moral high ground to look down on that person either. If they are talking behind thier back & dont confront the person in question.

I think it becomes obvious over time who the people are who are innapropriately using a condition they may not have toget attetion, and those who are suxk of being alone in thier pain. If people are getting TIRED OF SUPPORTING, that does not mean the person is faking. But need to learn better communication & coping skills...

So many hurting people have been shamed and invalidated by this accusation. I have. Society says if you need help ask. When you ask your told you just are doing it for attention. Wtf?

Attention is experinced as care & possibly a form of love. It is very powerful for social creatures, look at millions of stories even here on SS, of people who have lost nearly everything because someone came along and gave them "ATTENTION". We live in a fast paced society (Im writing from USA) where its too easy to feel ignored, isolated, when ones life is going WELL. Imagine whay thats like when one is depressed?

I dunno, I think the topic is very complicated, and if we are annoyed, maybe ask why it bothers you so much about how someone else goes about trying to get thier needs for love and connection met? Why does it bother you that a person might put up posts of suicide & harp on how miserable they are?

I don't think it necessarily make a mockery of people in crisis, depressed, suicidal as you might think. Everybody is doing the best they can to meet a LEGITIMATE need. Thier stratagy may not be the best, but this is different from faking.

What is so bad about attention anyway? Seems that most of us humans love it...

This. You put it better than I ever could.

 

[Dawn0071111]

It bothers me because fake cries for help/attention take away from the real ones. It desensitizes people, and that's how the ones who are really suffering fall through the cracks. Also, what happens if that person actually needs help and nobody takes them seriously anymore?

Also, usually only the frivolous posts seem to really get attention. People get scared and go silent when it's real, and that makes things worse. They don't know what to say and gloss over it. I think that's tragic.

To be clear, I'm mostly talking about the people who say "I'm just gonna kill myself" over every little thing. Car breaks down, they burn supper, their favorite reality show sucked, they missed tickets to some concert. I've seen those specific examples just this week alone on Facebook. These weren't kids, either. Like, seriously people?
And then I'm here, quietly packing up my apartment for when I CTB, and you guys are the only ones who know...

Is it really true that the fake cries take away from the real ones? Because it seems that from the theme of this thread its the fake vs. The Silent. Closed mouths dont get fed. Are you saying that this was your personal exp? That your legitimate demonstrated cries for help & attention went unnoticed because people were unavailable to.you because they were occupied with the false alarm person?

Im not trying to be a butthole... I am really just seeking clarity, I don't think we are giving other people due credit when we assume they can't make a distinction between fakers & those who are sincere....

Are you saying that there are people who might develop a prejuduce about depressed people based on the shenannigans of a few "attention-seekers" who in a sense, "ruin it for everyone?"

I can see how that can happen, but I believe most humans tend to respond to genuine need. Even if they got sucked into a toxic situation with a person going overboard on psudo suicidal ideation, that person should be able to see the mistakes they made in assessing the situation, thus not writing every distressed person off for the rest of thier lives. I think there is much more hope than you might think.... people love to help others... and for those who judge, maybe didn't want thier help in the first place... lol

 

[k75]

Is it really true that the fake cries take away from the real ones? Because it seems that from the theme of this thread its the fake vs. The Silent. Closed mouths dont get fed. Are you saying that this was your personal exp? That your legitimate demonstrated cries for help & attention went unnoticed because people were unavailable to.you because they were occupied with the false alarm person?

Im not trying to be a butthole... I am really just seeking clarity, I don't think we are giving other people due credit when we assume they can't make a distinction between fakers & those who are sincere....

Are you saying that there are people who might develop a prejuduce about depressed people based on the shenannigans of a few "attention-seekers" who in a sense, "ruin it for everyone?"

I can see how that can happen, but I believe most humans tend to respond to genuine need. Even if they got sucked into a toxic situation with a person going overboard on psudo suicidal ideation, that person should be able to see the mistakes they made in assessing the situation, thus not writing every distressed person off for the rest of thier lives. I think there is much more hope than you might think.... people love to help others... and for those who judge, maybe didn't want thier help in the first place... lol

Yes, based on what I've personally experienced or witnessed, this is what's happening. People are at first alarmed, and then as time goes by and the more it happens, the less reaction this kind of behavior gets. That's when you end up with people going, "oh, that's just so-and-so, being dramatic again." And people who maybe could have been helped are written off with the crowd.

Like I said earlier, if I want help, I ask for help. But not everyone does that, and they kind of risk getting lost in the shuffle. If everyone claims to be desperate and hurting, how does anyone actually get help?

There are two ways people react to this. Either take everyone seriously or noone at all. This is why suicide risks get involuntarily sectioned. Because they have to take you seriously. And that's why the mental health care situation is such a mess all around. There's no good way to sift through it all, so they're forced to use blanket rules to try to salvage what they can.

 

[bpd_notme]

I had a doctor in the hospital who insisted on giving me a bpd diagnosis. I didn't care because I felt I didn't relate.

Then this past hospitalization, a different doctor told me that chronic suicidality was a very common symptom of bpd. She was trying to make me feel better by "validating" my mental illness so I would find hope by believing I could receive treatment.

I was secretly horrified. Bpd comes with the stigma of being attention seeking and "suicide gestures" for the sake of attention.

I do not want this diagnosis, I do not want this association with attention seeking fakers.

I decided then and there I am going to jump because I refuse to live with this diagnosis.

That is why attention seekers are bad. If bpd was not associated with attention seeking I would not be so disgusted with this diagnosis. But because manipulative people want all eyes on them, they use "gestures" to pretend to be suicidal. And then people who have been meticulously planning their suicide get lumped in with them.

 

[Bathsheba]

I know people who have posted about depression, one friend in particular.. and I know that her reasoning is because she often doesn't feel like accepting invitations to socialise with friends because she's feeling too bad, or because she may not look the most cheerful most of the time and doesn't want people thinking she's anti social or just miserable.. so posting on social media that she is suffering from depression is a good way to let people know what the deeper issues are, and for some people is easier than expressing it face to face.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I was with some friends of mine today, and the topic of depression came up and how some members in our group have gone out of their way to let everyone know just how "hard" their lives really are. Either by literally saying, "I'm depressed, maybe I should kill myself" or by posting suicidal things onto their Instagram stories and then praising everyone who came rushing to their aid by rocking up at their house and comforting them.

And then my friends began commenting about how petty it was, how tiring it is to hear that so and so say they're depressed and how everyone has gone out of their way just because so and so made a post about themselves.

And I don't want to sound like I don't give a shit, because who knows - maybe those people really are suffering but all I could think was how bad it sounded and how much I don't want to end up being "that person" who cried and got attention because of a social media post or a self act of harming myself in front of everyone in hopes that they will pay attention.

All I could think was, if those people were really dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, would they really make it as public as they do? To me, depression is an intimate and personal feeling that I battle everyday, for months / years, not something that I want to put out into the world for everyone to see the ugliness that I'm harboring.

Except places like this, where I'm anonymous and can speak my mind without the fear that someone I know will catch on that it's 'me' behind these words.

Am I wrong in thinking that way? That these friends of mine who say they're depressed and go out of their way to let everyone know it are just doing this for attention?

Am I wrong for getting angry because they might be doing it for attention, like, is this just a joke to you? These feelings that so many try to handle but can't, is that just an attention tactic to you?

I want to CTB, but I don't want to become like those people that my friends talk about and see as petty and stupid because they think I did it for attention.

None of them know about me, about the real feelings that I battle with every minute of everyday, but I'm worried that the moment they do I just become another attention seeker who wants compassion in a public manner.

It's a conflicting feeling, to want to get rid of your friends because you know that they're bad for you but also want to keep holding on because, who else have you got?

I don't want to offend anyone and I'm sorry if I have, I just wanted to let out my frustrations with the whole situation so I truly am sorry if I've offended anyone in any way.

Everyone copes with depression and suicidal ideation differently.

 

[epic]

It bothers me because fake cries for help/attention take away from the real ones. It desensitizes people, and that's how the ones who are really suffering fall through the cracks. Also, what happens if that person actually needs help and nobody takes them seriously anymore?

Also, usually only the frivolous posts seem to really get attention. People get scared and go silent when it's real, and that makes things worse. They don't know what to say and gloss over it. I think that's tragic.

To be clear, I'm mostly talking about the people who say "I'm just gonna kill myself" over every little thing. Car breaks down, they burn supper, their favorite reality show sucked, they missed tickets to some concert. I've seen those specific examples just this week alone on Facebook. These weren't kids, either. Like, seriously people?
And then I'm here, quietly packing up my apartment for when I CTB, and you guys are the only ones who know...

In the examples you gave they are clearly using it as a figure of speech.

 

[k75]

In the examples you gave they are clearly using it as a figure of speech.

A) That's possibly even worse, because it's a serious thing being taken lightly.

B) I paraphrased. There was a bit more crying and drama, and the reactions treated it like there was a legit crisis and a perfectly reasonable way to feel under the circumstances.

I see both of those things as a problem, and it bothers me.