"Attention Seeking"

[Barteljaap]

This accusation is based on such ignorance. But they can afford to be ignorant because they have all the power.

I don't want attention for attention's sake. I don't really want someone doting over me. That sometimes feels nice but it's unable to change how I feel about life in the long run.

The "attention" I want is simply for someone to figure out how I can be integrated into society. How I can become normal. I just want a solution.

Medication is not a solution. It only blunts me, the problems are still there. I still want to kms, medication just takes away my emotional sharpness to the point where I'd have no chance of overcoming the SI.

Therapy is not a solution. Modern therapy expects you to come up with your own solutions to everything, while they listen. It's nice to be listened to sometimes but it also changes nothing long-term.

Maybe there's no solution to integrating me into society. Okay, but if there is none can someone at least explain to me why I can't fit in? Why I can't have the life that most people seem to be able to have? If I can just logically understand it, I might be able to accept it. And then with that information I can choose whether to live or ctb.

So not "attention". I want either a solution or an explanation. I'm trying to figure it out on my own but I can't. I hate life so much.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is a very well laid out prognosis of yourself and what you want. Do you ever say this to doctors and therapists? I'd be so curious to hear their response.

It seems far more logical than I expect how a lot of us present to a 'professional'. I was such a mess when I finally tried to seek help! I remember crying a lot!

You seem like you would be a refreshing change- 'Why is it I can't function as part of society and what do we do to remedy that?' Do they just turn the question back on you then?!!

Sorry to be annoying but- do you know? What things do you struggle with? I know for me- it's social anxiety, and a crippling lack of confidence. If I'm honest though- I don't actually WANT to 'function' in society all that much... I don't like capitalism. I'd actually much rather not be a part of it. I don't even have much will to try.

You sound different though- like you do want to change but don't know how. I can't believe there are no resources out there to help... Assertiveness training or something. Not sure what it is you struggle with. I suppose that would be the first step... I suppose to be fair to the therapists etc. that's something only you would know. After that though- surely it is their job to suggest the right course of treatment.

 

[grosz]

people tend to say that we want attention because they just dont care about our problems and dont want to look bad rejecting our cries for help, but I do not blame them as I know that some things are just inrepeairable

thats why I stopped asking for help and instead I mostly keep it to myself or this website