CTB Fella
Experienced
- Dec 15, 2022
- 266
I have taken many, many overdoses.
I've died on numerous occasions, and have been so close to passing.
I just survived my worse attempt, and believe me, it was hell.
I took 100+ Zopiclones + 100+ Lorazepams, on top of alcohol.
I don't remember anything, but apparently I was rushed to hospital, and it was found that one of the tablets was "on" my lung, so I had to be transported to a specialist hospital, to have it retrieved.
I couldn't breathe for myself, so an incision was made on my neck, and a tracheotomy was inserted. I was in a coma, and it was thought that I wasn't going to make it. Shitty hospital, I developed a serious blood infection, for which I was injected with the strongest antibiotics, three times a day. Then I contracted covid! Believe me, it was hell.
I eventually had the tracheotomy removed, and I couldn't speak, drink or eat. I had tubes up my nose, which were used to feed me & give me my regular medication.
However, I'm now out of hospital, and feeling much better (physically) but the suicidal desires have returned.
I'm going to jump, next time. I'm going for the Humber Bridge, which is very accessible and has no suicide barriers.
With regards to the title of this post, I don't know what triggered it, but I had for some reason become completely psychotic. I was being abducted and tortured, or experimented on, and it was as real as the day is long. I was in some kind of alternate reality. Usually I overdose, because I've just had enough and want to go. Other times, it's partly thrill seeking (I have EUPD.) But this time was very, very different. As soon as I was able to escape my "captors" I took the overdose, as I saw it as my only means of escaping this torrent of abuse.
Just thought I'd share.
Sending love to all.
I've died on numerous occasions, and have been so close to passing.
I just survived my worse attempt, and believe me, it was hell.
I took 100+ Zopiclones + 100+ Lorazepams, on top of alcohol.
I don't remember anything, but apparently I was rushed to hospital, and it was found that one of the tablets was "on" my lung, so I had to be transported to a specialist hospital, to have it retrieved.
I couldn't breathe for myself, so an incision was made on my neck, and a tracheotomy was inserted. I was in a coma, and it was thought that I wasn't going to make it. Shitty hospital, I developed a serious blood infection, for which I was injected with the strongest antibiotics, three times a day. Then I contracted covid! Believe me, it was hell.
I eventually had the tracheotomy removed, and I couldn't speak, drink or eat. I had tubes up my nose, which were used to feed me & give me my regular medication.
However, I'm now out of hospital, and feeling much better (physically) but the suicidal desires have returned.
I'm going to jump, next time. I'm going for the Humber Bridge, which is very accessible and has no suicide barriers.
With regards to the title of this post, I don't know what triggered it, but I had for some reason become completely psychotic. I was being abducted and tortured, or experimented on, and it was as real as the day is long. I was in some kind of alternate reality. Usually I overdose, because I've just had enough and want to go. Other times, it's partly thrill seeking (I have EUPD.) But this time was very, very different. As soon as I was able to escape my "captors" I took the overdose, as I saw it as my only means of escaping this torrent of abuse.
Just thought I'd share.
Sending love to all.
