Venting At peace.

[joyfulegirl999]

Hello! I am writing this as a goodbye-ish letter if my family, friends, or peer see this an recognize me. I've thought about this long and hard. I'm a young girl, yet I am ready to end my life. I am planning to do it December 3rd 2024, this is the day my ex arrives in Canada. He played a big role in this roller coaster of emotions. I didn't feel loved yet have an emotional attachment. I want to be free from this terrible God forbidden earth. Angels are pure, and I want to be pure. I plan to go to confession a few hours before to cleanse myself of any sin, and to apologize to my God for what I am going to do. I hope he lets me into his peaceful and loving kingdom, I need to feel free. I'm a young girl who's sinned all her life. I'm mostly lustful, which is terrible. I hate myself or all of it, my wrists, and thighs are covered in scars, I am disgusting to look at. Nobody on this human filled earth can ever love me how my God does, I am at peace with my surroundings knowing it will hopefully all be over soon. The method I would like to carry out with to get this over with quick and easy is by train, there is a train station near me yet it always busy, so I plan to go later at night. I will let anyone I know if I pussy out, and will seek help ONCE AGAIN immediately. Trains don't run after 12am so I'm doing the last train. I understand I may be considered selfish as I've came to terms there is people who love me, and people I love. Yet who are they if I can't love myself? Men can't look at me without getting an erection, yet as soon as they see my disgusting scars nobody wants me. I pray you let me into your kingdom God, for I am scared you will reject me. Yet I know you are a loving figure for I look up to you and hope to be up there with you as-well. Goodbye.



Note: I will be posting until my day is due, <3

 

[synthcadia]

i'm so sorry that men see you as an object, yet cannot handle the scars you have.

i'm not catholic anymore, but i wished i had this love for God like you do.

i don't think God will reject you. He loves all of His children, as i have been taught. imo, i think God will reject you only if you reject him.

safe travels, friend.

 

[joyfulegirl999]

Thank you so much.

i'm so sorry that men see you as an object, yet cannot handle the scars you have.

i'm not catholic anymore, but i wished i had this love for God like you do.

i don't think God will reject you. He loves all of His children, as i have been taught. imo, i think God will reject you only if you reject him.

safe travels, friend.

 

[Wanted Opioid]

Not tryna be rude but if all the men u know only view you as a sex object then maybe stop getting yourself into these kind of toxic relationships?

Also, getting grated and squashed by a train is extremely painful and a very unreliable way to ctb.

If you're not into dying a painful death, don't ctb like that.

 

[Kalista]

leave well

 

[joyfulegirl999]

Not tryna be rude but if all the men u know only view you as a sex object then maybe stop getting yourself into these kind of toxic relationships?

Also, getting grated and squashed by a train is extremely painful and a very unreliable way to ctb.

If you're not into dying a painful death, don't ctb like that.

Its definitely hard to find a genuine man, im not ctb for that reason. I dont mind being alone on relationship terms