Venting Ask the universe for a sign to kill myself and I got it

[UninformedLover]

Title. A few days ago I was in my kitchen feeling like shit and I asked the universe if I should kill myself please show me a yellow butterfly. Well today I was on reddit and saw a video of a yellow butterfly.

I should probably be happy but honestly I just feel like shit even more. Like how awful am I that even the universe wants me to kill myself? Maybe that's why my life is so shit now.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened. A few years ago I asked the same thing and recieved the specific sign I asked for. I guess maybe I was just hoping that I wouldn't see the sign so I could have something...anything to hang on too but...I dunno I'm just so over it. It's been getting progessively worst this last month. I barely get out of bed, exhausted all day, no job, shit parents, etc etc. And I got into a huge arguement with my stupid therapist recently so I'm not getting professional help anymore. Was shopping for a new therapist but it's actually difficult asf. I'm done. If the universe wants me to kill myself then it won. I will. I don't know what else to do. I did everything right. I got a therapist, I took the medication, I try to do the coping methods and its still the same.

 

[bankai]

If the universe really wanted you dead, it would kill you.There are a plethora of ways in which it would achieve that. Only you get to decide if you want to take yourself out.

 

[moya117]

im sorry that happen to you, it must feel like shit. i personally dont believe such thing that the universe can send some message like that, and like the person above said, if the universe really wants you dead that it send you a sign two times, i dont think you're gonna be here, why would a universe want you to specifically off you yourself, it can just do it alone

 

[rs929]

Sounds like attention bias. You paid attention to the butterfly because of what you thought before, possibly ignoring evidence that the universe is not magically answering you.
I suggest you buy a lottery ticket. Then ask the universe to make you win the lottery if you should be dead. If you don't win, you have evidence against the idea the universe is communicating with you. If you win, you tell the universe to gtfo and enjoy your money :)
I have OCD so I'm used to that kind of stuff. It sucks.

 

[Hollowman]

The universe doesn't give a shit. It was just a coincidence.

 

[Dejected 55]

I would be afraid to ask the universe of a sign of my worthlessness and need to die, because moments later a parade would march in front of my house with all the signs.