Ashamed of being on welfare

[FireFox]

I am 23 and live in the UK. I am currently on benefits or known as welfare in the US.

I am ashamed i am on benefits because it reminds me i am failure who cant earn thier own money and needs government assistance.

Growing up the people I knew on benefits where teen mums or people who dropped out of school with no gcses.

I always worked hard in school and took my education seriously.

People on reddit accused me of looking my nose down upon people. Anyway i had to delete my reddit thread.
I dont look my nose down upon people.
In the UK being on benefits has always had a negative reputation especially with shows like Jeremy Kyle and benefits street.
Being a graduate on welfare is something that is not talked about or even heard of.

I lie to everyone that i work and generally i avoid people.

Are any of you on welfare and how do you deal with the shame

 

[Ghost2211]

Being on benefits is nothing to be ashamed of. Those programs are there to help people in need, and people in need should never have to feel bad that they need assistance. I receive Social Security for disability. It's not ideal, and it sure as hell is not enough money. I don't feel ashamed that I am receiving benefits. This world is already hard enough on us that we don't need to be hard on ourselves as well.

Much hugs and respect

 

[ovaltinee99]

Go easy on yourself. There's no shame in receiving the help that you need.

 

[Donk]

I'm receiving long term disability benefits through private insurance. I'm not a shame of it. The reason I got insurance was for situation I'm in now. I mean should a person be a shame of receiving social benefits if they had cancer? The answer is mostly like no so what's the difference that and you dealing with a chronic debilitating mental illness. Just gotta think from a different perspective. hope you'll get better and return to work. I feel so useless not working.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It's easy for people to make snap judgements and to be upset about things that they don't understand.

 

[signifying nothing]

I'm in the UK and supported by benefits too at the moment. I have taken to tidying up around town to feel I am giving something back for what I've been receiving. I pick up litter, take down old posters and cable ties, that sort of thing. Its like doing all the little jobs that there's no formal title or contract for.

 

[bov]

Please don't be ashamed.

 

[foxdie]

You're doing fine friend, no shame in taking help when you need it. Our society is what's messed up, judging those who struggle.

 

[Gnip]

J. K. Rowling famously wrote Harry Potter while she was on welfare, and those stories made her a billionaire, the world's second wealthiest author ever. She has paid back into the UK system, donating millions to homeless and domestic abuse victims, as well as taxes she can afford and did not attempt to avoid paying. This is how welfare is supposed to work. Most people on welfare can't do what she did, but that system exists to keep the weak secure by meeting survival needs while allowing for the potential of others to prevail like Rowling did. Because of people like her, anybody negatively judging welfare recipients is an absolute idiot.

I went to school with a girl who made a handsome living as a welfare mom (of eight children) and welfare grandmother. The payoff back to the system which supported her? A whole bunch of her children and grandchildren went into the United States military, among performing other useful duties.

Welfare is not a one way street. One productive welfare recipient can cover for a dozen who may not have the ability to be productive, and it's not guaranteed that a welfare recipient who is not productive will not be productive in the future (like Rowling).

An assistant of a former dentist of mine was on welfare when she became one of the very first patients to ever survive a form of cancer which had never been survived before.

Eliminating welfare means eliminating the existence of a nation and civilization itself.

 

[NodusTollens]

—hugs—

I can understand the feelings of being a failure; it's tough trying to navigate stigma & self determination when things are outside our control.

Some people judge unnecessary without bothering to try to understand the otherside. If we're unable to work for our own personal reason, what business is it of theirs?

In recent years, I started receiving assistance for disabilities after working since 17 (now 30). So it's understandable that these feelings are hard to navigate.

 

[Gnip]

I'm in the UK and supported by benefits too at the moment. I have taken to tidying up around town to feel I am giving something back for what I've been receiving. I pick up litter, take down old posters and cable ties, that sort of thing. Its like doing all the little jobs that there's no formal title or contract for.

I'll mention here that I have known dozens and dozens of volunteers who have received benefits who clear roadsides of litter and roadkill, work in hospitals, churches and for the Salvation Army and perform other good services which improve the daily lives of all of us. Some things which come without a price tag are actually priceless.

 

[foxdie]

I'll mention here that I have known dozens and dozens of volunteers who have received benefits who clear roadsides of litter and roadkill, work in hospitals, churches and for the Salvation Army and perform other good services which improve the daily lives of all of us. Some things which come without a price tag are actually priceless.

This is beautiful. Made me tear up ngl

 

[FireFox]

Please don't be ashamed.

Bov

Thanks i feel like I have let my family down i should be working and living on my life and being real adult.

I grew up in a single parent household.

I never imagined my adult life would be life this.

 

[Gnip]

I am 23 and live in the UK. I am currently on benefits or known as welfare in the US.

I am ashamed i am on benefits because it reminds me i am failure who cant earn their own money and needs government assistance.

Growing up the people I knew on benefits where teen mums or people who dropped out of school with no gcses.

I always worked hard in school and took my education seriously.

People on reddit accused me of looking my nose down upon people. Anyway i had to delete my reddit thread.
I don't look my nose down upon people.
In the UK being on benefits has always had a negative reputation especially with shows like Jeremy Kyle and benefits street.
Being a graduate on welfare is something that is not talked about or even heard of.

I lie to everyone that i work and generally i avoid people.

Are any of you on welfare and how do you deal with the shame

Volunteering is universally respected in my experience, and often leads to employment and educational opportunities. At the hospital where I used to work, kids who were too young for jobs and senior citizens past the then mandatory retirement age of 65 would volunteer. If I really wanted to get back out in the world, I would volunteer rather than apply for jobs, since my disability benefits (which I worked hard to earn) would remain secure.

 

[FireFox]

Volunteering is universally respected in my experience, and often leads to employment and educational opportunities. At the hospital where I used to work, kids who were too young for jobs and senior citizens past the then mandatory retirement age of 65 would volunteer. If I really wanted to get back out in the world, I would volunteer rather than apply for jobs, since my disability benefits (which I worked hard to earn) would remain secure.

Gnip
I did voluntary work in secondary school as a cadet.
I did voluntary work at university in a citizens advice which is a charity that gives people advice who are struggling with debt and other issues.
I do voluntary work in my church teaching children about first holy communion
Employers dont seem interested when i mention this in my cv.

Voluntary work gets tiring after a while.
I live in the UK

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I am 23 and live in the UK. I am currently on benefits or known as welfare in the US.

I am ashamed i am on benefits because it reminds me i am failure who cant earn thier own money and needs government assistance.

Growing up the people I knew on benefits where teen mums or people who dropped out of school with no gcses.

I always worked hard in school and took my education seriously.

People on reddit accused me of looking my nose down upon people. Anyway i had to delete my reddit thread.
I dont look my nose down upon people.
In the UK being on benefits has always had a negative reputation especially with shows like Jeremy Kyle and benefits street.
Being a graduate on welfare is something that is not talked about or even heard of.

I lie to everyone that i work and generally i avoid people.

Are any of you on welfare and how do you deal with the shame

Hi Firefox, being on benefits is nothing to be ashamed of! I served my country, have qualifications dropping out my arsehole and l'm on ESA! I deal with it like this, Balls to anyone who has a problem with it and l just do not care what other people think about me or my situation! Don't be ashamed m8!

 

[flower]

no shame at all. it really sucks that we have the stigma around it as you say from benefits street and things like that. I was on benefits for a couple of years after dropping out of college and I did feel ashamed every time I walked into the jobcentre so I can definitely relate.

people who judge need to realise that they themselves could end up on benefits at any point, nobody's job is 100% safe especially right now. I think more people than ever will be on benefits at the moment. also it seems like the majority of people don't walk into jobs in their chosen field straight after graduating, it's just not realistic for most people these days.

 

[Gnip]

Gnip
I did voluntary work in secondary school as a cadet.
I did voluntary work at university in a citizens advice which is a charity that gives people advice who are struggling with debt and other issues.
I do voluntary work in my church teaching children about first holy communion
Employers don't seem interested when i mention this in my cv.

Voluntary work gets tiring after a while.
I live in the UK

Employers are often compete idiots for whom the Peter principle often applies. (Humans are promoted to their level of incompetence.)

In hospitals, volunteers are readily hired once they become directly well known to department managers. It's an effective way of bypassing Human Resources. (HR is bad because these departments usually screen away the best applicants for certain positions. Department heads are better qualified to make these judgments, but often they never even know who the outstanding applicants are because personnel departments prevent those managers from ever even discovering those applicants applied in the first place. I agree with the late great Robert Chase Townsend in "Up the Organization" when he stated that Personnel/Human Resources, Purchasing/Procurement and Public Relations/Marketing have no place in a proper corporate hierarchy and are purely parasitical. A guy I knew while growing up now owns and operates a thriving corporation which does not have any of those three departments hindering it.)

Being in the UK is of course not a context I can relate to. Of course if voluntary work did get tiring after a while, the solution would simply be to discontinue it, or at least take a break until it was missed again.

 

[signifying nothing]

Voluntary work gets tiring after a while.

Yeah, this is why I do what I do now. I'm not so good around other people anymore and find it difficult to be in a routine or formal setting because of ptsd. So what I do is on my own initiative, whenever and however much I can manage.

 

[Wraith]

I'm on disability. I occasionally feel ashamed, but I remind myself that I never asked to be disabled. I don't plan on being on it much longer anyways, if you know what I mean.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I wish I could get disability but my county is so strict and doesn't help it's citizens. It's just another reason why I want to ctb. I can't work because of mental/physical issues but they won't give me disability...there is just no winning.

 

[Kramer]

I'm on disability and it ruined my 20s.

 

[Deleted member 94]

I'm on welfare but still looking for jobs covid has messed up a lot of economies. Firefox don't feel ashamed it's not a hand out but a hand up. It's not our fault that there are so few jobs going.

When I did work I was worked my ass off bringing in money into the company for very little pay others were doing little work and chatting all day saying we aren't going to kill ourselves for this level of pay.

I can't work now and should be on disability because of my multitudes of illnesses but I am thinking about volunteering at the local charity shop.

Firefox I studied law and accounting in college, I know you did law but you won't get much attention unless you study for the bar or law society exams have you looked into getting a training contract.

I have met with unemployed professors who did like you pure science PhD while what's wanted in the workplace is applied sciences. You need to get a better feel for the job market. Perhaps you can do a vocational training course and keep your benefits and see if that gets a foot in the door.

I've been offered work from various contacts I made during my working life but had to turn down as 17 years of being ill is taken a toll on me.

 

[Futile]

Being on walfare is my dream, sadly here it's almost impossible

 

[Meditation guide]

I am 23 and live in the UK. I am currently on benefits or known as welfare in the US.

I am ashamed i am on benefits because it reminds me i am failure who cant earn thier own money and needs government assistance.

Growing up the people I knew on benefits where teen mums or people who dropped out of school with no gcses.

I always worked hard in school and took my education seriously.

People on reddit accused me of looking my nose down upon people. Anyway i had to delete my reddit thread.
I dont look my nose down upon people.
In the UK being on benefits has always had a negative reputation especially with shows like Jeremy Kyle and benefits street.
Being a graduate on welfare is something that is not talked about or even heard of.

I lie to everyone that i work and generally i avoid people.

Are any of you on welfare and how do you deal with the shame

I had to get food stamps for about two years of my life and I did feel ashamed of that. I also had to have my utilities paid for by a charity and I cried in shame over it. So I know how you feel. I never saw myself as being a charity case with my background. It does do something to your sense of yourself. I'm hoping it won't be forever that you need to do this.

I even had to get food from a food kitchen for a while and that was so, I don't know the polite word for how it made me feel. What made it bearable were how nice people were there, they made me feel it was ok to be there.

(I do not mean it is something you should be ashamed of. I mean I relate to that feeling of shame myself when it's not how you imagined your life would be. )

 

[shay23]

Don't let society or media make you feel bad, just because you are struggling doesn't mean you don't deserve support from the government because you do deserve it. Anyone can end up on benefits, there should be no stigma. Most people are about 3 pay cheques away from being homeless. It's hard to have a job when struggling mentally or due to lack of experience, it's a very oversaturated market. I worked through out uni and it still took me about 3 or 4 months to find a job after countless rejections, I barely got any interviews. In the current climate it's extra hard, don't beat yourself up it's not shameful to need support at all. People who judge are very shallow so don't try to make them comfortable.
The rich and elite tax evaders don't get shamed in the same way vulnerable people do who rely on and need benefits. The way society views things are fucked but don't try to appease it, you are given help because you deserve and need it. Keep trying whenever you're ready to apply for jobs because once you've got your foot in the job market it will be easier to search for others. But if you can't work then that's also absolutely fine. Your mental health and functionality should not equate to employment and productivity, don't let capitalism fool you!!

 

[Zhontafly]

I have been on the dole for years here in Germany and I feel no shame for it cause the system doesnt actually help provide good living wage jobs for us. So whats to feel bad about when the system itself is the problem? Also, I work to help my wife with her disability. She has progressive MS and is also on the dole, cause the system here doesnt pay her enough in retirement. All those years of her work just so she can receive some scraps and be reduced to a needy welfare recipient! FTW!

 

[Symbiote]

Was on welfare when I was your age, but those things are temporary and they are meant as a way to help you get back on your feet again. I too was ashamed and even was put on disability for my bipolar for a long time. I eventually got tired of it and stopped accepting the payments.

 

[Starseedchip]

I am sorry you are dealing with those feelings. You should feel no shame at all. Whats shameful is that assistance is even needed. We have the means to properly provide for every being on this earth. Nobody should go without or struggle. Its the world that is shameful and not you. You were born and placed here without a choice. You don't owe the world anything, being yourself is just enough. You are just surviving and taking care of yourself. Screw what anyone else thinks. Not a single soul is better than anyone else because of their financial situation. It says more about them then the people they are judging.

 

[Endeavour]

I wouldn't worry about it. I know I'll sound nuts but I honestly believe covid is being used to usher in a new system where there will be no money. Everything will be "free" you just won't get a lot of it (food, etc).

It will be free and there will be no money since if you can't accumulate wealth and there's nothing to buy (property etc) then you can never change your situation.

They'll say it's to save the planet and environment.