Discussion Are you thinking of writing a suicide note?

[Yuki K]

Before your ctb, will you write a suicide note? What will you write in it? Your sufferings? Your mental health condition? If you're comfortable share it in this thread

 

[harpy]

Yes I probably will. I would write about why I don't think this life is worth living, stress that my suicide is not the fault of family members or friends and I would clear up any lies I can remember telling the people who would probably end up getting the note

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I already wrote one, but haven't shared it with anyone yet. I don't know if I want to leave it behind or not, but it's probably necessary to explain why I have to do this. There's too much personal info in it to share it here, but hopefully it was worth it to write everything down.

 

[SilentSadness]

I personally don't see a point in leaving a suicide note; there's no use in making my death more memorable. I don't have any grievances I want to leave people with, what's done is done and the main problem is the fact that I'm alive anyway. Trying to explain to the people who would read my note that I would finally be at peace would be a waste of time because they have extreme views on the value of life. As for leaving some kind of legacy, I really don't care what happens after I die anyway.

 

[Wernove]

I surely will, and, I'm seriously thinking of writting all of the suicides notes rn, and put them in a safe place, this way, if I ctb by throwing myself in front of a car or smth ( but i'm pretty sure this is one of the worst way of ctb ( in terms of fail rate)), or by sh, or If I just die in an accident, I would'nt have to worry about saying what I always wanted to say to some people.

 

[Sparr0w]

I've got an online suicide note i updated recently. its mostly a "dont blame yourself / my mental health was shit" suicide note, but its also got funeral plans in there. i considered having a bit that mentioned sasu in the most vauge way possible ("online forum that helped me find a peaceful method"), but decided against it in the end.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would personally see it as being beneficial, as I believe that it's better than leaving others with no explanation, as then they would just be left with unanswered questions. I would say things like "this is what I wanted", and I would explain the fact that life was not for me.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

No people didn't care about me before I died why should they care why I took my life

 

[incorporationated]

Yep! Definitely. Just to make sure they suffer more- consequence of their actions. :3

 

[woosch11]

Did not decide yet. Probably I'll send delayed messages to some people who care. That's gonna be simply 'I'm leaving by my own will. thanks for making my life a bit better. Love' My few closest friends and loved ones know that I want to ctb and kinda understand me

 

[Scacie]

Maybe, though I don't really want to. I just don't feel I owe this shitty world an explanation ya know?

 

[Unending]

I've almost considered writing multiple over a period of time as a way of tricking my brain into thinking that I'm preparing to go soon even though I plan on doing my best to last till my parents are gone or at least older. When the time comes, if they are still around, they'll surely have the latest and most well-revised version of it.

 

[lunarpixels]

I started writing it today, and I plan on calling out every single person who failed me by name, age, and what they've done -- from all the emotional damage, to every scar on my skin I've made to cope with pain they've caused.... I want them all to know how I hurt...

But then there's one person that I should confess how I feel to them while writing the letter... They deserve to know the real mindset, so they get a specialized, separate note.

 

[irie]

been debating it for a really long time, i'm not really sure i want to but at the same time it seems strange to go without explanation

 

[lost-unfound]

I've written one for an attempt before, it was just a brief apology and reminder that no one should blame themselves or anyone else for it.

 

[pharma]

no. they never cared for me when i was alive. if i did it would something sarcastic

 

[Yuki K]

I usually write on my phone's note pad, I have written one but I keep rewriting it over and over again. I just wrote that to get things off my chest and don't really want others to find it.
If I do write a suicide note, I'd probably be just a few words like ("I'm sorry" or "I can't do this any longer")

 

[CentreMid]

I'll most likely write something short to my partner. I get that no matter what I write, she still may think that my death is her fault or that she could have prevented it, but I do want to help ease her while she grieves as best as I can, and help give her some closure at least. I don't want her to grieve for long. She deserves to have a happy, fulfilling life, and she won't be able to do that if she's too hung up on my suicide.

I won't be writing anything for anyone else though. I'm sorry if this sounds bitter, but I don't think anyone else in my life deserves that kind of closure.

 

[Ozi]

I'll probably just make it a simple one-liner like "Fuck all of you, I'm out of here." since I'd prefer to spend time thinking about the method / time for ctb instead of the note itself. Who knows though, maybe I'll have a change of heart and write a two-page suicide note right before ctb

 

[bawiao]

Yes. I have a file prepared where i have all my notes prepared for each individual person i think deserves one ◡̈ I keep it there just incase i finally find a way to leave where i know for a fact i wont survive. Then id be able to copy and paste them to everybody yk? They mostly mention lighthearted stuff with jokes, although they do all mention the basic stuff like "its not your fault, this has been coming a long time" etc etc

 

[thankyou]

Good question lol…

I always think of things I'd like to add to my suicide note but when the moment comes to write a note, I have no energy lol.

It's like I ~want~ it to be this deep, expertly written essay on my life but when it comes down to it, I'll prolly just tell a few ppl I love them, other people to go fuck themselves, and some final wishes for how to handle my belongings.

 

[bestroper]

no, never. I have nothing to say to anyone

 

[Scacie]

Good question lol…

I always think of things I'd like to add to my suicide note but when the moment comes to write a note, I have no energy lol.

It's like I ~want~ it to be this deep, expertly written essay on my life but when it comes down to it, I'll prolly just tell a few ppl I love them, other people to go fuck themselves, and some final wishes for how to handle my belongings.

Definitely. When I can't sleep I spent so much time over the years thinking of what I would write. It has ranged from bitter and full of virtol when I'm angry, and melancholic when I'm depressed, and nothing when I'm just tired of it all. Recently though, as I finally take large concrete steps to CTB, I find what I imagine to be happy and cheerful. I'm so excited to finally be at peace, and I want that to be reflected in my note.
However, I don't think I can ever put my thoughts down into words lol. The notes and essays I think of in my head are pretty poetic (I think), but it's hard to get into the mood to write one when I get to it. Perhaps I'll finally write one when everything finally arrives and it is imminent, but otherwise I'm just fine with leaving this bitter and cruel world with nothing

 

[dopaminedeath]

I get that no matter what I write, she still may think that my death is her fault or that she could have prevented it, but I do want to help ease her while she grieves as best as I can, and help give her some closure at least.

I feel similarly but with my parents. I'd be keen to know how you get this across

 

[Walpurgisnacht]

I could never get past "I'm sorry, goodbye." with signature and date.
I'm not good with words, and whenever I tried I just couldn't get across my meaning. I made a song that I will release right before I CTB, I find getting my emotions across is far easier in that medium for me, so I decided I'd do it like that instead. My suicide note, if it says anything more than those three words, I will just use to try and help the people that love me grieve ("Nothing you could've done would've stopped me", and all that kind of stuff.) but my actual thoughts and feelings about it I put into music instead.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

I will write my reasons for CTB and say my final goodbyes to my loved ones.

 

[zenishere]

The idea of writing a suicide note comes from the will to leave something behind in this world. At least, that is what I believe. And I don't have anyone to write to. Surely it would make headlines in our country if a student my age decides to ctb. But then what? It's not that rare, in fact, countless students are committing ctb every year. It doesn't matter if I write one or not.

I have nothing for this world, just as the world has nothing for me...

 

[RedKingdom]

I wrote mine like 2 years ago and have had them in storage waiting it out to see if things got better or if I changed my mind. Needless to say, I didn't and am ready. What I wrote back then still very much so applies to me with how I'm feeling. I was very apologetic and explanatory on why I was choosing to go in it. Didn't want to be hostile or angry in the couple I wrote to family members.

 

[imlookingforward]

yeah, definitely. i don't think i could leave without writing one. i need to air out all my grievances i'm never able to let out, let my friends know i love them, why i'm doing it, etc…

 

[outrider567]

Since the police will find my body, My pages of notes are mostly financial ones(pay the mausoleum/cemetery/funeral home, leaving signed blank checks for my stepmother to take care of,,bank account numbers, savings and checking, phone numbers of mtg co), computer password, and of course why I'm CTB'ing to make it clear, and a few warning notes about Nitrogen(I have a huge tank)--and of course my Will prominently displayed also