Are you responsible if someone decides to CTB after you

[Beyond_Repair]

I'm worried that certain family members might follow or it might like push them. I don't want to be responsible for anyone else's death, just my own

 

[Rev346]

Everybody is responsible for their own actions. Unless you force them to do something or egg them on, you shouldn't be responsible. They may do something but it will be their choice and their decision.

 

[landslide2]

These are things not in your control but it is possible for increased risks of suicide after being exposed to a suicide.

 

[-Link-]

Sometimes, pain does not end with a person's suicide and instead survives, spreading to that person's loved ones.

If you have this feeling inside you, then I would surmise the risk to your loved one(s) could be significant.

As to whether you would be "responsible", I think only you could make that judgement. Your family might be able to make that judgement as well, depending on the circumstances. I would be suspect of anyone else's judgement (for better or worse) unless they know the whole you and the whole of your situation.

This is a very challenging, delicate subject, and I want to be cautious in answering here, so I will reiterate: That you are even asking this question at all seems to suggest a significant risk could be in play here.

I do wish you the best as can be as you try to deal with what must be a very difficult spot to be in.

 

[aisakataiga]

People dont exist anymore after they die so it's impossible for them to be responsible for anything. But while you're still alive, it's your responsibility to look out for the people who genuinely cares for you.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Sometimes, pain does not end with a person's suicide and instead survives, spreading to that person's loved ones.

If you have this feeling inside you, then I would surmise the risk to your loved one(s) could be significant.

As to whether you would be "responsible", I think only you could make that judgement. Your family might be able to make that judgement as well, depending on the circumstances. I would be suspect of anyone else's judgement (for better or worse) unless they know the whole you and the whole of your situation.

This is a very challenging, delicate subject, and I want to be cautious in answering here, so I will reiterate: That you are even asking this question at all seems to suggest a significant risk could be in play here.

I do wish you the best as can be as you try to deal with what must be a very difficult spot to be in.

I have always been the one that has to "hold it together" because my family is full of mentally ill, unstable people. They come to me with their problems but I can never, ever ask for help. I have been told by one person that I am their only reason for living since I was a kid.

That's a hell of a lot of responsibility to put on one person. I just want to die, I don't want to hurt anyone else

People dont exist anymore after they die so it's impossible for them to be responsible for anything. But while you're still alive, it's your responsibility to look out for the people who genuinely cares for you.

But the thing is, they don't really care, they care about what I can do for them, how I make them feel, they like the front I put up. They don't love me for me

They have been my responsibility since I was practically able to talk. I just want to leave in peace without my last few days being eaten alive by guilt

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The simple answer is NO! We're all responsible for ourselves.

The more complex answer is, that loving parents, loving partners and friends can actually be devastated after a suicide especially when they cannot comprehend why this was the only option. That is the ever unsolvable problem. The ones who are in so much pain that they have to contemplate suicide to be relieved and the loved ones who often come up with platitudes like "It gets better!" bc they cannot actually solve the unsolvable problems that make us suicidal.

Someone will have to suffer - this is an inevitable fact. If the life of loved ones is regular and in order they will get over it eventually. However, some may not get over it and may commit afterward (imo that's happening very rarely).

Ultimately, it's their own decision, not ours and not the decision of anyone else.

If I had to answer the question precisely I'd make the following distinction: If loved ones had the ability and the means to rescue me it's their fault if they didn't. If they couldn't rescue me regardless of any efforts it's not their fault at all.

 

[Holu]

it depends on how the suicide is. To me, suicide should ideally be done with awareness and forethought, doneso more out of a desire or knowing inability to continue suffering, rather than a complete spur of the moment action. Even in the situations where the individual is in distress, they should mentally have been prepared or expecting the possibility of suicide during crisis.

So to me, if someone witnesses your dead body, and say you had a firearm in your hand, and they use said firearm to commit suicide out of complete shock and distress, then I'd argue that you probably bear responsibility. But, in almost every other case, the answer would be no.

However if you want to observe it from a classical utilitarian perspective, then one could still argue that if your suicide proceeds to increase the suffering of those who care you, which eventually adds on and leads to their suicide, it could be argued you bear responsibility. That said, the amount of responsibility is up for debate, and it can't really be known. But in the broader sense, suffering has increased from your action, which arguably demonstrate your responsibility.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

CTBing might have a negative influence on people close to you, but unless you are CTBing with just the intent of "breaking others" and cause other events I don't think you'd be "responsible". Not your fault if things didn't work out in life and I don't think you should feel "responsible" for other's CTBs.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't think you're responsible for anyone elses actions. We all make our own choices in this world.

 

[Steff1337]

No, you're not responsible what other people choose to do with their own lives.

 

[-Link-]

I have always been the one that has to "hold it together" because my family is full of mentally ill, unstable people. They come to me with their problems but I can never, ever ask for help. I have been told by one person that I am their only reason for living since I was a kid.

That's a hell of a lot of responsibility to put on one person. I just want to die, I don't want to hurt anyone else

This idea of responsibility is coming from within yourself more than anything or anyone else. Yes, it's obviously influenced by external factors, but these factors don't amount to any kind of objective judgement. You can see that demonstrated in this very thread where the people here passing judgement are saying "no, you're not responsible." And yet, for you, the feeling persists.

It sounds like your family has maybe been taking you for granted... using you as their rock while not affording you the same in return. Not everyone in your position would stand by and allow this. Some would say "to hell with this" and do what they want to do regardless of how their family might react. But you? You own it anyway. Because that's the kind of person you are. It's in your character to maintain that level of care even in circumstances where it's not adequately reciprocated.

The guilt you're feeling, the care you have for your family in spite of their flaws... This stems from a fundamental part of your character, so I don't think anybody here (or anywhere) would be able to say anything to you that would make this easier on you.

However, we will still be here to answer any questions and offer you support as best we can.

 

[Reflection]

I think that If CTBing is gonna cause them so much emotional harm and grief that they end up doing it, then yes, I think we would responsible. But at that point, we've already paid with our life, and whatever happens afterwards is beyond us. We can only accept that it might end up creating a domino effect, or it might not. We'll have no way of knowing by then.

I know a lot of people say that each one is responsible for their own actions in regards to their life, but imo that's a very one dimensional way of looking at it, and can be a way of just escaping accountability in other situations; for example, if someone abused a person to a point where they decided to end their life, does that not make them responsible? Or is it simply the victim's fault for ending their life in response to said abuse?

Of course this doesn't exactly apply to the letter to people who want to CTB, because obviously most of us don't want to hurt anybody, we just want a way out of our pain and misery. But I also believe that we must at the very least consider the consequences of our actions as well (even if they were too, caused or influenced by others who hurt us), as I think that we owe our loved ones to an extent.

That is why ultimately, for me suicide should only done as a last resort.

 

[landslide2]

I think that If CTBing is gonna cause them so much emotional harm and grief that they end up doing it, then yes, I think we would responsible. But at that point, we've already paid with our life, and whatever happens afterwards is beyond us. We can only accept that it might end up creating a domino effect, or it might not. We'll have no way of knowing by then.

I know a lot of people say that each one is responsible for their own actions in regards to their life, but imo that's a very one dimensional way of looking at it, and can be a way of just escaping accountability in other situations; for example, if someone abused a person to a point where they decided to end their life, does that not make them responsible? Or is it simply the victim's fault for ending their life in response to said abuse?

Of course this doesn't exactly apply to the letter to people who want to CTB, because obviously most of us don't want to hurt anybody, we just want a way out of our pain and misery. But I also believe that we must at the very least consider the consequences of our actions as well (even if they were too, caused or influenced by others who hurt us), as I think that we owe our loved ones to an extent.

That is why ultimately, for me suicide should only done as a last resort.

OP, Beyond_Repair, who seemed a kind person, posted a goodybe thread the following day after this post.
Wherever they are I hope they found their peace.

 

[iloveloving]

I have this worry too! Thank you for posting this!

I have always been the one that has to "hold it together" because my family is full of mentally ill, unstable people. They come to me with their problems but I can never, ever ask for help. I have been told by one person that I am their only reason for living since I was a kid.

That's a hell of a lot of responsibility to put on one person. I just want to die, I don't want to hurt anyone else

But the thing is, they don't really care, they care about what I can do for them, how I make them feel, they like the front I put up. They don't love me for me

They have been my responsibility since I was practically able to talk. I just want to leave in peace without my last few days being eaten alive by guilt

I feel really connected to you on this It goes for me as well!

Nobody really thinks about you because you're the rock of the family, and it sucks even more when someone else is struggling. They get all the help and attention, but not you because you have to be the strong one.

I'm sorry. It truly feels like your family knows nothing about you and you go unheard of. The guilt is strong. I wish you a peace of mind.

 

[Reflection]

OP, Beyond_Repair, who seemed a kind person, posted a goodybe thread the following day after this post.
Wherever they are I hope they found their peace.

It's sad but at the very least they are free of pain now, may they rest in peace