Are you also kind of detached?

[struggles_inc]

I've been reflecting on my life recently.
I don't remember being 100% or at least 60% sincere with anyone about anything.

That includes pretending to be happy, but there are other things. Like pretending to be sorry when I did something, or pretending to be sad when someone needs my support.

I think back and don't see myself as completely honest. I always thought that I have a "leaned empathy" or something, like I just slowly develop the ability to fully feel emotions. But a lot of time has passed and it didn't… develop to the fullest? I can feel anger and sadness, sometimes even something warm, but not much else.

I never wanted to upset anybody, so I became sweet and supportive and understanding. If I'm being honest, the more I think about it, the more I don't care.

I thought that was depression. Could I have been born with it? Do you guys feel the same way?

Please tell me, I'm really confused right now.

 

[ma0]

This has been my case pretty much my entire life. I physically can't feel real human emotion for anyone, and it drives me insane.

 

[struggles_inc]

This has been my case pretty much my entire life. I physically can't feel real human emotion for anyone, and it drives me insane.

How do you cope? Does your circle of people know?
I started digging around that after my friend pointed my "coldness" out and, surprisingly, did not judge me for it, but encouraged to understand it better. So I'm trying.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I've been reflecting on my life recently.
I don't remember being 100% or at least 60% sincere with anyone about anything.

That includes pretending to be happy, but there are other things. Like pretending to be sorry when I did something, or pretending to be sad when someone needs my support.

I think back and don't see myself as completely honest. I always thought that I have a "leaned empathy" or something, like I just slowly develop the ability to fully feel emotions. But a lot of time has passed and it didn't… develop to the fullest? I can feel anger and sadness, sometimes even something warm, but not much else.

I never wanted to upset anybody, so I became sweet and supportive and understanding. If I'm being honest, the more I think about it, the more I don't care.

I thought that was depression. Could I have been born with it? Do you guys feel the same way?

Please tell me, I'm really confused right now.

I mean I'm definitely insanely angry all the time how I could i not be given what happened and the things the continue to happen. But I definitely do my best to wear a mask and act all nice as best as possible. In all honesty I just don't know how to interact with the world. And the longer I'm in the situation the less I see humanity as something I want interaction with. Yet there's obviously the pull of loneliness and everything else. It's a miserable place to be.

 

[ma0]

How do you cope? Does your circle of people know?
I started digging around that after my friend pointed my "coldness" out and, surprisingly, did not judge me for it, but encouraged to understand it better. So I'm trying.

Isolating myself and consuming a bunch of Youtube usually helps me take my mind off of how emotionless I am. Well, that and porn and sometimes cutting.

As for my circle, they seem to be completely unaware. It's a combination of them not really talking to me as much as others, me getting on well fine in most shallow conversations and the fact that they don't really care. Well, some of them do, but I take extra precaution around them.

 

[struggles_inc]

Isolating myself and consuming a bunch of Youtube usually helps me take my mind off of how emotionless I am. Well, that and porn and sometimes cutting.

As for my circle, they seem to be completely unaware. It's a combination of them not really talking to me as much as others, me getting on well fine in most shallow conversations and the fact that they don't really care. Well, some of them do, but I take extra precaution around them.

True, sometimes letting them know is only bad news. I guess I got lucky with that one friend.
I guess you also cut/self harm to feel some sort of rush?

 

[ma0]

True, sometimes letting them know is only bad news. I guess I got lucky with that one friend.
I guess you also cut/self harm to feel some sort of rush?

No, not usually. I usually just do it to validate myself, so that I can feel like my feelings matter somewhat.

In this particular instance though, yes. I do just want to feel something.

 

[struggles_inc]

No, not usually. I usually just do it to validate myself, so that I can feel like my feelings matter somewhat.

In this particular instance though, yes. I do just want to feel something.

Understood. Yeah, that's something I can relate to, in a way.

 

[_Maya]

I've been reflecting on my life recently.
I don't remember being 100% or at least 60% sincere with anyone about anything.

That includes pretending to be happy, but there are other things. Like pretending to be sorry when I did something, or pretending to be sad when someone needs my support.

I think back and don't see myself as completely honest. I always thought that I have a "leaned empathy" or something, like I just slowly develop the ability to fully feel emotions. But a lot of time has passed and it didn't… develop to the fullest? I can feel anger and sadness, sometimes even something warm, but not much else.

I never wanted to upset anybody, so I became sweet and supportive and understanding. If I'm being honest, the more I think about it, the more I don't care.

I thought that was depression. Could I have been born with it? Do you guys feel the same way?

Please tell me, I'm really confused right now.

everyone i know irl i've lied about like 65% of the stuff i tell them.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Forever Sleep]

It depends on a lot of things for me. I'm not exactly consistent. I will try to give polite responses but, the level of sincerity varies.

People I care about, I will usually feel a fairly deep empathy for. So, if they vent their problems, it will likely affect me. Then, it depends on how stable I am at that moment as to how well I'm able to respond. Sometimes, if I'm overwhelmed with my own troubles, hearing theirs also feels too much. A lot depends on how stable I feel.

I try to remain supportive but there have been times in the past that it felt overwhelming so- empathy actually isn't always great. Ultimately- we may not actually be able to help them either, so- getting caught up in their emotional drama just hobbles both of us.

Other times, I'm just not fully invested- for whatever reason. In which case, I'll still try to imagine what it's like for them. So, I'll likely be sympathetic still. It's just, it may not affect me personally so much.

It's a complicated issue though- Which part of us we need to be sincere to. So- take a horrible example. Someone asks you how old you think they are or, whether they are attractive. What if you think they do look old or, they're not hugely attractive? To tell them the truth would be sincere but, it might hurt them. We probably don't want to hurt them. So- in a way, aren't we actually being sincere to the non offensive part of ourselves if we tell a white lie or, try to sugar coat what we really think? I think sincerity can actually be kind of complicated. I think now, I'd simply dodge that kind of question all together where possible.

I think it's perfectly possible to be a sincerely kind person deep down- in that you don't actually want to hurt people. You may even want to help them. Yet, at the same time, you may not quite know what to say in an awkward moment.

Weirdly though, probably some of the most effective carers I came across were people who were able to dissociate. So- it's not always a bad trait I'd say.