Discussion are you alive and living or just existing?

[fallen.dove]

sometikes i feel like im just existing, doing everyday tasks because i have to and its my routine. i feel like im detached from my body. when im looking at my hands i feel like they are not even real. wbu? are u living or just existing?

 

[itsgone2]

Existing. Barely. Not eating well. Not cleaning. Hate to do anything at all
Not sustainable. Must end soon. Sad about it

This world sucks

 

[Kamaainakupua]

sometikes i feel like im just existing, doing everyday tasks because i have to and its my routine. i feel like im detached from my body. when im looking at my hands i feel like they are not even real. wbu? are u living or just existing?

Part of my problem is my inability to be happy in the moment, constantly looking back to the past, or worrying about the future. There's a treatment for veterans with PTSD that involves focusing on hand movements to detach from painful memories. Maybe you've stumbled into it without knowing, and are just coping with the pain that way.

I'm on the other end, My mind racing, filled with intrusive thoughts so that it's like I'm trying to think all the things I would think if I didn't catch the bus, before I catch it.

In the end, it still feels like a wasted existence.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Part of my problem is my inability to be happy in the moment, constantly looking back to the past, or worrying about the future. There's a treatment for veterans with PTSD that involves focusing on hand movements to detach from painful memories. Maybe you've stumbled into it without knowing, and are just coping with the pain that way.

I'm on the other end, My mind racing, filled with intrusive thoughts so that it's like I'm trying to think all the things I would think if I didn't catch the bus, before I catch it.

In the end, it still feels like a wasted existence.

May I ask... Since you mentioned veterans, are you a vet?

 

[geepeedee]

just existing, waiting to die.

 

[Kamaainakupua]

May I ask... Since you mentioned veterans, are you a vet?

This gives the answer. Re-reading it now, I can see that not only, yes, but I am obviously an easily agitated, angry one.
(Edit: Yes, I had to go eat crow. Bad dog!)

 

[Macedonian1987]

I'm just existing like an empty husk. I have no hope, almost no desires of any kind. I just want to go escape from this world and go to a world where love still exists, place without any chronic pain and a place in which there is no hatred, wars or greed.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

This gives the answer

Wow! I am so sorry to hear your have Veteran PTSD. My heart really has a special place for you folks. I don't know how you go through all that and survive. If it's any consolation, I thank you for your service. My best friend from years ago was in the Army and she did a tour in Iraq. Thankfully, she's okay. She didn't see any of the direct combat. As she says in her own words, she was "just a FOBbit" lol.

 

[Kamaainakupua]

"just a FOBit"

Been there, done that, got the fire watch ribbon (NDSM)

I guess that's proof that I've lived, but it feels like it was an empty existence.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

Been there, done that, got the fire watch ribbon (NDSM)

I guess that's proof that I've lived, but it feels like it was an empty existence.

Are you in the US? I'm so sad that there aren't more proper resources for veterans. I would literally give my life if something better could be done for y'all. Like, instead of all the "wasteful spending" our gov does, we could be helping you folks.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Existing by trying to bribe my way through with distractions, food etc. It's become such a chore to just do the basics to be honest.

I suppose I don't hate everything yet. I can still enjoy games, films, nature etc. But then, all the chores needed to sustain living are so unbearable now and I've put stuff off for so long that- every day is spent wrestling myself to do necessary things. I doubt I could really relax now for any length of time because I know all this stuff is waiting for me to do.

But then, I look around and wonder if anyone is really living. My neighbours are also pretty much always working- one way or another. I just don't get how they tolerate it all. They don't seem massively depressed. Maybe one or two do but, the majority just seem to get on with it. I just can't figure out why!

 

[FuneralCry]

Only just existing, to me this torturous, futile existence will always just be waiting to die no matter what with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and there's just so much torture in this terrible, dreadful existence.

I'd just never wish for the suffering of this painful, deeply undesirable and dreadful existence that I just always saw as a mistake causing all this terrible dreadful suffering and torture as a result, this existence should just never be imposed, no matter what to me only non-existence could ever be positive, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to find peace from the suffering of this torturous existence.

 

[Liebestod]

Existing solely for hope that things could change and that my outlook could be different.

 

[thelostautistic]

I just exist

 

[LonelyPrince]

Existing. Surviving.
I haven't lived in years.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Depends on the day you ask me tbh. My mood goes up and down usually. For the past 2ish months, I've just been existing, trying to survive daily.

 

[Pepper]

Just existing. If I wasn't in my current situation, I might be alive and living. However, I won't know until I get there. To which, I'm hoping is sooner rather than later.

 

[DecayAndAsh]

Just existing. I keep trying to change that but it never works out. Sometimes my friends make me feel like I'm living for a short while, but they can't be my life support forever.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

only existing cause i'm scared of failing a suicide attempt and remaining alive with more brain damage and body damage

in no way would I voluntarily choose to live in this hell ever even another minute

if I was more sure or very sure some method would kill me quickly I'd do it today

 

[Grog]

Just existing. Wish I wasn't scared to kill myself.

 

[charlavail]

I'm barely existing I take half a sleeping pill mid day to sleep and then i take more at night.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

At this point, just showing up for attendance.

 

[Asya]

I don't think I exist. I don't think this world is real.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

i'm surviving, not thriving

 

[Spite]

Just existing, for the most part.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Barely just existing. I am not conscious for most of the day. I just sleep.

 

[Matchaaa]

I've been stuck in survival mode for a very long time,just staying in my bed and not going outside.

 

[Zvetok26]

I'm going through the motions necessary to keep my body alive