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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,071
I am a really fragile person who worries all day long about me and my future. I have so much obsessive thoughts and actions I don't know how I shall manage my life all alone in the future. I am the opposite of being emotionally stable. There were elections in my country some months ago and the new chancellor said the following. The results were not known to that time. He said he laied down in bed this night, took a nap, felt relaxed and slept a calm and refreshing sleep. Lmao when I see how my mind works it is really weird that we belong to the same species. I get a mental breakdown when something is stressig me even a little bit. I ruminate every day about the torture which will happen in the future. I am anxious, unstable and insecure. I really have the feeling my limbic system works wrong. This development was caused by childhood abuse. Something is not wired correctly in my brain.

Can someone relate?
 
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Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,056
Relate? I could have almost written your post myself. Except for the childhood abuse part.
 
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gottago222

gottago222

paranoia bae
Dec 21, 2021
275
yes ocd is what makes me want the ctb above everything. i have other reasons why but OCD is by far #1. i have lost my damn mind and there is no known cure. when i get rid of one intrusive thought, another reapears. i have been anorexic in the past and i would rather go thru anorexia all over again then go thru this. atleast there is a cure for anorexia- some damn food. i thoroughly believe OCD means my brain is broken beyond repair and i gotta go .
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,156
Nailed it
 
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rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,707
Totally relate to this.
 
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Foresight

Foresight

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2019
1,393
Absolutely

I had a mental breakdown recently and it kind of reset me somehow. I just stopped resisting all the fear I have every single day and it took over entirely. It was awful but now I'm in better shape? I don't know. Breathing exercises help me too. As an overthinker, trying to analyze a way out of the anxiety just overloads me. I still do it though because my brain is addicted to it or something. I will overthink even the smallest things like how I'm going to speak at a drive thru or something. Social things are what I ruminate on the most.
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
I dont think I am anything other than bored to death
 
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Nanako

Nanako

Experienced
Dec 24, 2018
288
Yup, I can relate to pretty much everything you've said here.
 
ibrandon23

ibrandon23

Member
Dec 15, 2021
11
I'm not the worst about this, but I'm definitely on the spectrum. :hihi: :eh:

Sending :heart:.
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
This is exactly what is going on with me. I am an emotional wreck beyond repair. Anxious, insecure, obsessive, paranoid, emotional. It's a mess
 
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Kristicide

Kristicide

I am a prisoner locked up behind xanax bars
Dec 16, 2021
330
I am a really fragile person who worries all day long about me and my future. I have so much obsessive thoughts and actions I don't know how I shall manage my life all alone in the future. I am the opposite of being emotionally stable. There were elections in my country some months ago and the new chancellor said the following. The results were not known to that time. He said he laied down in bed this night, took a nap, felt relaxed and slept a calm and refreshing sleep. Lmao when I see how my mind works it is really weird that we belong to the same species. I get a mental breakdown when something is stressig me even a little bit. I ruminate every day about the torture which will happen in the future. I am anxious, unstable and insecure. I really have the feeling my limbic system works wrong. This development was caused by childhood abuse. Something is not wired correctly in my brain.

Can someone relate?
Yup. My life mirrors yours exactly. I'm emotionally unstable 24/7 and at times for no reason I can pinpoint at that moment. Last night I was just thinking if I had a new brain everything would be better. Besides my anxiety and depression I think I have obsessive compulsive personality disorder (which is different than ocd). Maybe you do too. Are you a perfectionist?
 
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Al Cappella

Al Cappella

Are we there yet?
Feb 2, 2022
888
Not OCD—but the rest, ya. My brain is rubbish. If I donated it to science they'd use it as a doorstop…
 
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N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,071
Yup. My life mirrors yours exactly. I'm emotionally unstable 24/7 and at times for no reason I can pinpoint at that moment. Last night I was just thinking if I had a new brain everything would be better. Besides my anxiety and depression I think I have obsessive compulsive personality disorder (which is different than ocd). Maybe you do too. Are you a perfectionist?
Yes I am a perfectionist. It stops me from being productive because I am too much obsessed with unnecessary details.
 
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Kristicide

Kristicide

I am a prisoner locked up behind xanax bars
Dec 16, 2021
330
Yes I am a perfectionist. It stops me from being productive because I am too much obsessed with unnecessary details.
We're suicide twins lol. For ref. It can take me 2 hours to put up the perfect ponytail.
 
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hopelessgirl

hopelessgirl

Mage
Oct 12, 2021
521
I am a really fragile person who worries all day long about me and my future. I have so much obsessive thoughts and actions I don't know how I shall manage my life all alone in the future. I am the opposite of being emotionally stable. There were elections in my country some months ago and the new chancellor said the following. The results were not known to that time. He said he laied down in bed this night, took a nap, felt relaxed and slept a calm and refreshing sleep. Lmao when I see how my mind works it is really weird that we belong to the same species. I get a mental breakdown when something is stressig me even a little bit. I ruminate every day about the torture which will happen in the future. I am anxious, unstable and insecure. I really have the feeling my limbic system works wrong. This development was caused by childhood abuse. Something is not wired correctly in my brain.

Can someone relate?
Yes... Just seeing some paint falling off of our house makes me worry that in about 20 years we have to paint it, and that fact makes me want to kill myself. Tolerating pretty much everything that I have to do/endure every day makes me want to kill myself. Even just normal conversation makes me want to kill myself. I hate it. Every fucking thing needs to have a meaning for me to do it.. and it needs to me argumentet for perfectly. But in the end nothing seems to have a meaning, so I'm paralyzed, constantly. And it is so frustrating it makes me want to die. I'm stuck in this endless loop. And I don't know how to get out of it.
I'm reading a book about the brain now, and loosing myself in literature where I am actually challenged, and where I learn something about this stupid body reacting to my environment, seems to calm my ocd brain a bit down. I don't work, so if I don't do anything to occupy myself, the only thing I will do is ruminate on my place in the world and cleaning up dust in our house. I want my old brain back definitely. But I don't know if that will ever happen.
 
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L

Ligottian

Enlightened
Dec 19, 2021
1,056
Yes... Just seeing some paint falling off of our house makes me worry that in about 20 years we have to paint it, and that fact makes me want to kill myself. Tolerating pretty much everything that I have to do/endure every day makes me want to kill myself. Even just normal conversation makes me want to kill myself. I hate it. Every fucking thing needs to have a meaning for me to do it.. and it needs to me argumentet for perfectly. But in the end nothing seems to have a meaning, so I'm paralyzed, constantly. And it is so frustrating it makes me want to die. I'm stuck in this endless loop. And I don't know how to get out of it.
I'm reading a book about the brain now, and loosing myself in literature where I am actually challenged, and where I learn something about this stupid body reacting to my environment, seems to calm my ocd brain a bit down. I don't work, so if I don't do anything to occupy myself, the only thing I will do is ruminate on my place in the world and cleaning up dust in our house. I want my old brain back definitely. But I don't know if that will ever happen.
I feel you. I hate cold weather and I start dreading it in August. I did some housecleaning today. Everything has to be done in a so-so way. I constantly worry about my computer or appliances dying on me. Or my car having a flat tire or a dead battery. You get the drift.
 
CiproKilledMe

CiproKilledMe

Experienced
Mar 23, 2021
243
OMG I love all the peeps in this thread. You people are my people!
 
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