None, every second in this dreadful, futile existence is torture to be conscious, I'll just always see it as an abomination to suffer in this existence, to exist at all is always something so terrible and dreadful and to exist means to suffer.
I'd just never wish for the mistake of existence and the fact that humans cause all this harm and suffering by imposing this existence onto others is the most terrible, dreadful tragedy to me. It's just so horrific how much harm this existence causes torturing existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, for me non-existence is all that's positive, only in non-existence will I be at peace from the suffering, cruelty and torture of existing, I find it so deeply undesirable to suffer in this existence in every way possible and I just always suffer so unbearably from being trapped in this painful, torturous existence so cruelly denied the option to just never suffer again, there truly is just so much evil in existing.