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przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
343
Overstimulated from the start. Our brains just don't know how to handle what we throw at them and we end up being comforted by self harm and suicide. I feel hopeless when I think about my life. Even when I was staying away from the internet, binge watching shows, constantly checking my phone and other unhealthy stressors a lot of my peers were still doing it. I was excluded from my peers because I didn't indulge. Now I do because why try anyway. I'm still lonely tho. So maybe phones weren't the problem. Maybe normal people can still live around those addictive devices but I can't. Maybe others can have unhealthy food around them and not binge eat, but I can't. I wanna run away and live in the woods with people who don't use phones, who read books, work hard and talk to each other and not watch tiktoks all day. I hate my brain. I don't know how to achieve my dreams when I keep sabotaging myself
 
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hungry_ghost

hungry_ghost

جهاد
Feb 21, 2022
517
Do you have any money?

Maybe you could actually go on a retreat somewhere, find some solitude and do a dopamine detox.
 
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
343
Do you have any money?

Maybe you could actually go on a retreat somewhere, find some solitude and do a dopamine detox.
I could go to live with my grandparents on the countryside. And take a train to attend university 3 times a week. And that's probably what I'll do. Sadly I don't know how to abandon my phone, since I use it for studying, and for university formalities. There's this app that lets you time block when you can use which apps, it's 5$ a month. I also have a gym membership to pay. And I don't have a job. But like, what's the price of being mentally sound, right? But also. It's 25zł and what if I don't use it? What if I uninstall it if I get desperate. Eh. Eh. I wish I could just throw my phone away in a river and live without it. But like, it's not the phone, it's me.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
If psychologist Roy Baumeister's theory of suicide is correct, yes, but what we experience is still profound suffering.


I knew a woman once who had lived through a terrible childhood under the roof of an abusive father in an oppressive regime that hates women. She had grown up to fail at her career and survive a physically abusive relationship. She suffers from many physical ailments requiring pain meds now and is only in her 40s. She says suicidal depression is the worst pain she has experienced.
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
Are you sure
I could go to live with my grandparents on the countryside. And take a train to attend university 3 times a week.
U sure you want to go all of those extra steps just to not use your phone? I don't think that the phone is core of your issues. Normies use their phones 24/7 and they are okie dokie. I mean; If your issues are self harm and suicide then It might help to have some clarity away from phone but you would need to find root issues. But If I knew completely what I was talking about I would not be here too, so make of that what you will
 
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P

przeciwwymiotne

Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
Jun 27, 2022
343
Are you sure

U sure you want to go all of those extra steps just to not use your phone? I don't think that the phone is core of your issues. Normies use their phones 24/7 and they are okie dokie. I mean; If your issues are self harm and suicide then It might help to have some clarity away from phone but you would need to find root issues. But If I knew completely what I was talking about I would not be here too, so make of that what you will
Hmm... Anything that'll prevent me from wasting my life is an improvement I guess. I don't believe 'core issues' apply in my case. Constantly wondering what may be the cause of my misery never leads me to any solid conlusions. Only action has helped me. I think I have multiple small issues not an core issue. And I don't view being suicidal as a part of my issues. It's a solution. Not preferable but a solution nonetheless.
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
I think I have multiple small issues not an core issue. And I don't view being suicidal as a part of my issues. It's a solution. Not preferable but a solution nonetheless.
I feel ya, I also did not loose 1 million dollars on stock market or got divorced and lost kids, I am not depressed half of the time even for which I am happy. I will try to find my ways to be happy for now. If future will suck really hard then I can just use knowledge that I have from this site.
 
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tiredplant777

tiredplant777

Student
Jul 23, 2021
196
I could go to live with my grandparents on the countryside. And take a train to attend university 3 times a week. And that's probably what I'll do. Sadly I don't know how to abandon my phone, since I use it for studying, and for university formalities. There's this app that lets you time block when you can use which apps, it's 5$ a month. I also have a gym membership to pay. And I don't have a job. But like, what's the price of being mentally sound, right? But also. It's 25zł and what if I don't use it? What if I uninstall it if I get desperate. Eh. Eh. I wish I could just throw my phone away in a river and live without it. But like, it's not the phone, it's me.
What is the app that blocks other apps called? Thanks, I need that pretty bad lol
 
S

SarRy

Student
Oct 5, 2022
192
Privilege? If anything, it's a lack of privilege (i.e. wealth and resources) that take the possibility of change off the table. If there is anything to say, it seems more like the mental health crisis is a human version of zoochosis. We all feel trapped in our cages and start acting in unnatural ways that don't make any sense. Our instincts are turned against us. We harm ourselves just to feel like we control something. We become aggressive and self-destructive because we can't escape our situations like we're cornered.
 
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